Do I need therapy?

Whenever I date a guy (even when we're not together) I like I always get paranoid that he's seeing someone else too. I know that it's completely fine if you're not together but I still freak out about it. Also, when I get rejected by guys I like I go crazy, like I can't stop pestering them and get angry/annoyed that they don't like me and I become very emotional about it. I think I get attached too fast.

I know it's really selfish to act and feel like this and I know it's not healthy, but would it be worth going to therapy about it?

  • Go to therapy
    76% (41)68% (34)72% (75)Vote
  • Don't bother going to therapy
    11% (6)18% (9)14% (15)Vote
  • Other/results
    13% (7)14% (7)14% (14)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Any feedback would be good thanks 🐻
By the way I haven't had a boyfriend before, sorry if the description was confusing
Thanks everyone who voted, I didn't expect that many people to respond
⛄️❄️

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Take it from someone that has been to therapy for a long time. It is an excellent thing to do regardless of issues. but in your case I think it is really needed. Jealousy is a horrible issue in any relationship. You have to have complete trust in your partner. Unfortunately, there are POS's out there that cheat. But you can't worry about that or it will simply destroy the relationship. If I had a woman that was acting that way I would end it immediately.
    But if you haven't been to a therapist before just keep in mind sometimes it takes time to find the right one. if after 2-3 sessions you are not at ease with the person, change to someone else.
    also, a good therapist is going to call you on your shit. Don't expect a therapist to always take your side and try and help you rationalize things. If what your doing is bullshit, he/she will call you on it.

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    • Thanks for your input 😊

Most Helpful Girl

  • What helped me LOADS with some of my issues was group therapy. There were two professional therapists to help the conversation along, and about 6 other people in the group seeking help. We just talked about our problems to each other and gave support and advice, and once in a while the therapists would chime on.

    It was really good for me. The environment is non judgmental and everyone sincerely wanted to support each other. It can be hard to open up to strangers at first, but once the ice is broken, everything flows easily. People all have different suggestions and viewpoints, and it's a lot more friendly than just sitting in a room talking to one therapist. Actally, most of the time, it was fun and constructive. I highly recommend looking into it

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    • Thanks for your suggestion 😊

    • Thanks, I think I'll look into it, it seems cheaper then one on one therapy too which is a plus

What Guys Said 13

  • You'll definitely want to talk to someone to get over these insecurities. I'm not sure these are things you can get over on your own. While I don't have advice on how to conquer these issues, a therapist/counselor might have some suggestions for you. I think it'd be a great first step to at least attempt to get to the root of the issues and see if you can get passed them.

    Jealousy, neediness, being very possessive are all traits most guys will find unattractive and will ruin your relationships.

    From my own experience, I dated this girl for several years and she still didn't like me just going out to shoot some hoops with the guys. I wasn't at the bar or with any other girls, but she would freak out if I wasn't home (pre cell phone days) waiting for her to call me when she got home from work. While everything else about her I liked, I ended the relationship because I didn't want to live my life not being able to hang out with my friends from time to time. Instead of adjusting and accepting that on days we weren't together, that I would go play sports with my friends, she got worse and worse calling all my friends houses trying to track me down.

    You don't want to end up like that. I wish you the best!

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    • Yeah I realise I just push people away and it's not fun for either of us. Thanks for answering 😊

  • I think if you've worked on changing those behaviors yourself without success perhaps therapy is the way to go.

    have you been cheated on or betrayed in relationships in the past? have you witnessed a lot of bad relationsihps (friends, family, etc)?

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    • Thanks, I haven't had a boyfriend before, sorry if the description was confusing.

  • Sounds like you need to do a little soulsearching within yourself.

    It's good you acknowledge your needy behavior, but you have to ask yourself, "why do I NEED a lover in my life?"

    You're feeling a lack of something. A lack of love, a lack of acceptance. A lack of feeling desired. I feel that too you know. You need to learn to love yourself before you can feel others love you.

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  • haha. I do the same thing with girls. Girls always tell me they have a boyfriend and so i'll just keep chatting with them everytime I see them and get to know them anyways. Some of them get annoyed, some find I'm an ok guy afterall. I don't know that there really is anything wrong with you other than maybe to just relax a bit and try and find someone else. It's about the only thing you can do. Hey at least the guys come to you instead of being the guy and having to do all the work picking up the girl. What do you expect when you get rejected enough times, of course you're going to get a bit paranoid. I think it's normal.

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  • You been rejected like me so this does play a part on how you feel when your in a relationship , your afraid that you will be rejected and or the guys are cheating on you
    it wouldn't hurt to talk to a therapist about this they may be able to help you out.

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  • Only u can judge if you feel this is a serious internal issue.

    Based on what u said, if I were you, I would consider therapy.

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  • To be honest with you, we all go through that. Although you do seem to worry about it a little more... But that's fine!!! You haven't been in a relationship yet, its only natural for you to feel this way. Start talking to more people and try to ignore the way you feel for a bit, your hesitation will disappear before you know it. I had the same problem, I just wanted someone to depend on and look forward to talking to everyday and it only made things worse for me. The moment you stop caring things will look much brighter for you, that's a promise! :)

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    • Thanks for answering 😊

  • I'd skip it but only because I use GAG for my therapy. I get the same lack of interest and bad advice that a normal therapist would over charge me for, for free. Next best thing to having a life.

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    • Ok thanks for your input

  • yes sound like paranoia or anxiety

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    • Thanks for answering 😊

  • Sounds like you have some things to talk out to help you in the future.

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  • nope i am the same way ;)

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    • Unfortunately, it's not about you

  • I don't know if you need therapy because I'm not a licensed psychiatrist, but I think it will help you a lot. There are A LOT we do not know about ourselves, although some of us think we know everything about ourselves. I definitely recommend it.

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    • Thanks for answering 😊

    • You are welcome.

  • Having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You... get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.

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    • Umm… so no?

    • Show All
    • Haha, thanks @bomba78

    • Putting up a tent, is... very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an'... slip in to the old bag.

What Girls Said 18

  • I don't know if you should go to therapy or not.. it's pretty expensive and they're not really helpful. All they do is nod their heads and say "and why do you think yuo're this way" ... or they start talking about things that probably are unrelated but they want to try to find relation. I mean there were the odd times that it was helpful.. maybe 25% of the time.

    The only helpful thing about it is that they have to listen to you rant over and over again because you pay them to. Your friends and family eventually get sick of you. But even if the therapist gets sick of you they have no choice cus you're paying them.

    There are self-help things online and I found those more helpful.

    Did someone cheat on you in the past? My first boyfriend who I loved very much cheated on me and it was out of the blue and our relationship ended out of the blue. everything was going so well and I was caught off guard.. and I was 21 at the time. He was my first and only real love. That REALLY screwed me up and it took me years... a really long time.. to realize I was messed up because of this one incident. I never realized how much it affected me. It's because of him I always think guys are cheating.. it put me in a really messed up state mentally. I've been working really hard on it for the past 3 years through self-help books and blogs online. I recommend that more than anything else. Focusing on yourself, doing yoga, learning to love yourself. It's been a very hard road and I'm not even half way through yet.. at least I don't think I am.

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    • I've actually never had a boyfriend before, sorry if my description was a little confusing.

  • First, its great that you recognize and acknowledge that you are feeling those things!
    If you believe that you cannot fix it yourself, or understand it completely, therapy might be a good answer. Only because they talk you through and help you understand where the problem comes from and then resolve it. You still have to do most of the work though, and be willing to change. But clearly it disturbs you so you are willing to change it. There is a deeper issue here, that does seem it needs immediate attention before it bleeds into other aspects of your life.

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    • I definitely am willing to change, it's really horrible feeling like this sometimes. Thanks for answering :).

  • Sure, therapy is right for anyone who is open and willing to improve their overall quality of life by enhancing their personal development and overall relationships.

    Good luck.

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  • I say work it out whichever way yoi know how. Therapy still sounds strangely unnecessary to me - like a place were they welcome your money and just give you a rent-a-friend to reflect off of. ☔🐳

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  • If you feel you need it. But it just sounds like you have some insecurity, and maybe some trust issues as well. Just because he's not with you does not mean he's cheating. You gotta remind yourself not to worry about something that "could" be happening. Cause even if he was cheating, remind yourself how someone that's doing that to you doesn't deserve that kind of worrying your doing now anyway.

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  • Yes, go to therapy

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  • Go to therapy. You've got trust issues and you're also heavily insecure.

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    • Not sure why, but it's actually a relief hearing that. Thanks 😊

    • Knowing what's wrong is the first step to recovery. A therapist will help you understand yourself better, as well as come up with solutions best suited for you that will help you battle against your "instincts" of becoming paranoid and jealous/insecure.

  • Yes you are very insecure and clingy. I am like that and I get very very hot about rejection and become violent. You might be suicidal or depressed for another reason like your parents never accepted you or something. Go see the therapy if you think you need them. That's all.

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    • I know I'm not suicidal, depressed maybe. Honestly I don't really feel like my parents accepted me, so that might play into it. Thanks for your suggestions 😊

  • I would consider it, u may have attachment/abandonment issues

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  • it might be a good idea to talk to someone

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    • Thanks for answering 😊

  • If you're struggling with this repeatedly therapy would probably help. Good luck, hope it helps if you decide to go. :)

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  • Maybe not necessarily about THIS but perhaps seeing a councillor about your insecurities in general could be useful.

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    • Thanks for answering 😊

  • Therapy can't hurt and you may come out the better because of it

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  • I think you should.

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  • its a relationship killer. No one wants to deal with distrust and disrespect.

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  • yes u should go to therapy

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  • I just broke up with my boyfriend and because I'm so tired of getting hurt, I sort of feel like commiting suicide. I don't belong anywhere and my life is meaningless.

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    • Umm… if that was directed at me, I've never actually had a boyfriend before, if not I hope you have someone to support you 😊

    • No, that wasn't directed at u. I was just putting that down

    • Ok, thanks for responding

  • If you are at a point where you are questioning if you need therapy, its probably a good idea to go. It sounds like you are sabotaging any close relationships you have and that's not healthy for them or you to do. If someone has given you no reason not to trust them, you shouldn't always be suspicious. You wouldn't want someone doing the stuff you're dishing out, so yes, its time for you to seek help, find the underlying issues, and learn how to be in healthy relationships before you find yourself possibly alone because you've alienated your dates.

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