I feel so much pressured to the point im not able to do the things I have to do?

I feel so much pressure im between two things that i dont like , but had to choose the less worse , first of all I ran away from my country my job and family because i was feeling down , my country didn't show me respect as a human , my job was hell my supervisor was forigner and his boss was forigner and did whatever takes to let us the citizens under thoer mersy i didn't like it i felt i deserve better because i worked really hard to get that job but when we got it and were qualified he refused to hire us and put us as trainees he even kicked me out from the first stuff meeting saying he want to talk to his stuff and im not included, my family put me down they treated me as someone stupid they also tried to cut my wings and let me believe that i dont deserve my dreams , it was so painful to be around them after work , and couldnt leave also because i was just got hired didn't have money , my country also didn't like my group of people especially we dont have money to buy our freedom , we are not slaves but i feel im like one of them , i ran away by scholarship to far away country and now im thretend that if i fail in any subject i would go back there , not only that im sourounded by immature people i couldnt get along and they treat me like im a stranger , i missed the people i used to work with but didn't miss anything else , i feel so much pressured and can't handle ot especially when i think about failure or when i finish studying and go back there , also i dont like studying here its too mich to handle, and the people here didn't make it easier too they are so unfreindly and even some teachers here take thing personally when they dont like you , i smoke to release stress , but i feel im stuck and i dont know what to do? Also i have few people here from my country but i dont sit with them i even hate thoer voices that remind me of everything i tan away from , i can't handle this pressure and thoughts anymore what can i do? What should i do to get things done?


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