SERIOUS!! How can I help my close friend? PLEASE read?

I will make this as short as possible but PLEASE PLEASE read it all because it is serious:

We go to the same university. however, While I live in school residence, she lives a bit far away at her UNCLE'S house. and that UNCLE is the problem. He controls her life. He does not allow her to leave the house except for university, he does not allow her to even make friends with boys. he wants her to be a nurse, but she does not want that. he checks her phone everyday, her messages, her photos.. etc. he is extremely rude to her and always calling her a "failure". he does not allow her to lock her bedroom door. when she takes a long time in the bathroom, he shouts and scolds her for that. on the weekends he takes away her phone because according to him "she doesn't need it during the weekends". Basically, she is being tortured. And When her parents call her uncle to ask about her, her uncle says "she never studies, she never helps me with anything, she is so spoiled.. etc." while she is the opposite of that. She is very hardworking, wise, and helps him with every single thing he asks for.

Now, you might say, why does not my friend tell her parents the truth about her uncle? well, her mom is helpless.. she cannot do anything about it. And her dad will never listen to her, he always takes her uncle's side.

How can I help her?

Updates:
YES! She can live on campus, which will solve the problem, but I do not think her dad will allow that... especially because he does not even listen to her. he only listens to her uncle.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't have a solution for you, but she sure is lucky to have a friend like you sticking by her! It's so hard to keep friends when you're in a situation like that.

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What Girls Said 3

  • get a job and move out thats the only way

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  • Well you could ask her if she wants to find an apartment with you so that you both live in and tell her why the reason she should move in with you

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  • She should find a job and move out. Aren't there dorm rooms where she can stay?

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What Guys Said 3

  • I would not call that torture at all, but it does sound like a major inconvenience in her life.

    If she's going to a university, she should be able to make her own decisions about this kind of stuff. If she really thinks it's a problem that is interfering with her life, she has every right to make it stop and move out on her own if she can manage that somehow.

    Aside from letting her know that, you should not get too involved in this. It sounds like a very tricky situation, but everyone involved here is an adult, and you all have to handle it as such. Remember that you're only observing this whole situation from the outside and might not know the whole story.

    Also, remember that this is first and foremost HER problem and YOU do not have the right to decide for her that she's having a problem. If she lets you know that she does not enjoy this, or wishes things were different, only THEN should you get involved.

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  • It isn't rocket surgery or brain science, go ahead and have her either move in with you or help her get her own place. It'd also help if she got a boyfriend or male friend to help her move out.

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  • It would be wise to see if there any vacant dorms on Campus, or maybe try finiding a basement suite with a lower rent or share an apartment

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    • This is the best solution I think. But how can she convince her parents to do that for her? her dad does not listen to her.

    • Is she of legal age? Typically its 18 years im not sure where the University is. She does not need permision or from her Dad or Uncle unless there is other circumstances that maybe her dad is paying rent or somthing else involved. Maybe try ahving another family member talk to her dad or show her reasons why to leave

    • OK thank you so much!!! and yes her dad is paying for her tuition and he will be paying for rent too :/ but you are right. a family member can have an influence on her dad.

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