My crush and I became best friends this summer. He's not a very approachable person and somehow, i managed to become bffs with him. I showed him my good side. I treated him very nicely and we rlly had good times together. But I never got the guts to tell him my true feelings (that i loved him secretly since 2013) and he also got a girlfriend at that time (this summer). But he broke up with her a few months later and he's single for now. We were on good terms till June. And when it comes July, he started to change. He started to ignore me and when i chat him up, he didn't reply my msgs nicely. When I asked him the reason, he said sometimes he feels very anti social towards people and apologized to me for his manners. I told him it's ok and he told me to stay the way we were back then and i said yes (i rlly didn't mind at that time) And we were okay with our freindship and then the next month comes, it happened again. He ignored me again, he's not nice to me anymore and I stopped talking to him (I forgave him coz i thought that anti social thing is happening to him again) But when I found out that he was completely being sociable with his friends (he even got more friends) and I was the only one who is ignored by him, it rlly pissed me off. I didn't do anything wrong. I was being nice with him all this time whenever he needed me I was there the whole time!! After all, I distanced myself from him i dont want to get hurt anymore. It was enough. But I still find myself loving him and I know that 2 years of those feelings won't go away over night but I rlly dont know how to forget him.
How do I get over my feelings for my crush?
What Guys Said 1
There are two main things going on here, from my perspective...
1) You've called him out for being a dick, but because he had "reasons" for being a dick, you've concluded that it's okay. You've "forgiven" him and written off his continued bad behaviour as "okay,"
This is bad. Not bad on his part because he's being a dick honestly and openly.
This is bad because you're okay with it. And before you say "but I complained about it" let me stop you and say this... if you know he's being a dick and you continue to chase him and give him attention then you're REALLY saying that it's okay. This is the same mindset that abused house wives have.
The moment you allow his bad behaviour to continue is the same moment that you've lost him, and you've forfeited your own self esteem. Because each time he treats you like trash you're quietly agreeing with him.
Can you see what I'm saying here?
If you've pushed him away because he's being a dick, then you've done the right thing! You've won and should be proud of yourself.
2) Attraction isn't a choice. We don't choose to love the weirdos that we love. We can't choose to FEEL the "right" way.
So stop fighting that.
Basically it's okay to still have feelings for someone who's bad for us.
Think of this guy like junk food. He probably tastes delicious, but he'll leave you feeling sick and gross and sad with yourself.
That doesn't mean you'll ever stop loving junk food, but growing up and having self respect means we make CHOICES that's best for our hearts. Just because we crave junk good doesn't mean we should eat it.
3) Hollywood makes up stories that fools us into thinking that our FEELINGS are FACTS.
But feelings are NOT facts.
Being attracted to an asshole doesn't mean you should BE with an asshole.
Accept your feelings, and then ignore them.
The issue isn't that he's still attractive, the issue is that you're still thinking about him as if he matters.
Listen... you can't choose how you feel but you CAN choose what you focus on. If you choose to keep thinking about him then you're hurting yourself, like mental masterbation. Let him go and move on.
When you catch yourself pondering about this loser then patiently stop yourself, laugh that you're doing it again, and purposely think about someone better, or something else that will distract you.
This is called maturity and it will leave you feeling better, happier, and full of self esteem.
Hope this helps?
(My Blog http://www.fullofhateandreadytodate.com/ )0
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