Do I have any reason to be upset?

My birthday is coming up and my parents are throwing me a party with family and friends. I want my boyfriend to be there but he is planning a vacation for the same time as my birthday. The thing is, he can plan his vacation anytime. He can go the day after my birthday or whenever. It's just him going so he doesn't have to check with anyone and he doesn't have anything planned. Tickets haven't been booked yet or anything.

but he's still insisting on going during my birthday. I feel like since his plans are so open and this is important to me, he should be willing to postpone his trip by a day. Am I being unreasonable?

What would you think in my situation?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell him that you will ignore whatever he says about his feelings towards you and you will judge his feelings by his actions. That is being reasonable.

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    • ^ This.

      You can't claim to care for someone while being so selfish. How can you count on him to be there for the hard times?

Most Helpful Girl

  • How long have you been dating? Maybe he is nervous about meeting your family? I would say I might understand him not wanting to go to the big to do if you aren't that serious but he still should t be leaving town on your birthday. My boyfriend and I had only been dating for a month when his birthday rolled around and I made sure it was special. No one ever makes a big deal out of his birthday so while I didn't make a huge to do I made sure we are at a really nice restaurant got him a nice present and had a really intimate night. That is what anyone who cares about you should do.

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    • We've been together for 3 years and he's met my parents before. We've done the family functions and stuff already :(

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    • Honey I'm sorry don't be sad on your birthday but take another look at the bigger picture of your relationship. Are you happy? Do you want to be with someone who is most likely going to hang you put to dry like this again? You deserve better than that. Have a good birthday and don't think about him while he's away because he won't be thinking about you. Best

    • Thanks :)

What Guys Said 2

  • Mmmh... I think it depends a bit on where he is going and for how long is going there. For example, certain regions of the world are better to be visited at a particular time of the year (for example because of the monsoon). Also, if I went on vacation for, say, two months and my girlfriend's birthday was right smack in the middle of that trip, I probably wouldn't move it either. If however, he's just going away for 3-4 days, I don't see why he can't plan it a bit differently.
    Generally, I can understand you very well. I've also told my girlfriend in the past that it's important to me that she's with me on my birthday. For me it's even more important than in your situation I believe because my parents don't organize any parties for me anymore (that seems to be reeeally nice of your parents at your age!) and I also don't really have enough friends to make a cool party myself. So if my girlfriend wasn't with me on my birthday, I'd probably just spend the whole day sitting on the couch in an empty apartment, feeling lonely. So yes, I can understand you very well that you want your boyfriend to be there with you.

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    • Well the thing is he's leaving the day of my birthday. So I think booking a flight for the next day or even later that night wouldn't be a big deal you know? It would be different if everything was already booked and paid for, but nothing is yet.

    • Oh okay. Yes, in that case I can really understand you. That's not a nice thing to do...

  • if he works a job where time off isn't easy to come by perhaps he has an excuse there. if he had already booked a flight or hotel or whatever that's another valid excuse

    but if he has flexibility in terms of vacation, like he can just push everything a day back AND he doesn't have anything booked then this does seem a rather selfish

    you are free to be upset by it

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What Girls Said 2

  • I would think the same thing too, your birthday is important to you, also why aren't you invited to go on the trip? You're not being unreasonable at all!

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  • I think that's pretty reasonable. He can totally postpone the trip by a day or two for a party. Even a few hours.

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