0, obviously. I'm actually a sewer rat.
Obvisously 0! I love bathing in my own shite!
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Since you don't list my position "the hover" I'll go with #8.
Im the 0...100%
Usually I prefer the poop to fall straight in the hole, in order to not leave any stains, so I prefer #1, But I can try #3 If I am watching porn on my cell phone and jacking off at the same time.