How do you deal with the death of a loved one?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all I am sorry for whoever you lost close to you - What can I say every case is different, everyone deals with it differently and everyone finds ways to cope with it - So many factors was it sudden, was the person ill, young or old - I lost my father to cancer last year but he had dementia for last few years of his life, I was one of his primary carers off work for nearly two years and he didn't know who I was anymore, we never told him he had the cancer for the 4.5 months we knew.
    My advice is whatever you are feeling let it happen, don't bottle it up - The rest of the bereaved will be all over the place, support and love each other, listen to and give the odd outburst of anger and grief. Nothing is permanment at this time. If you want to cry, cry like a baby, nothing wrong with that.
    It will just be raw as fuck even maybe numb in short term then you move on to a long term grief of missing them mixed with moments of happy memories.
    Look up bereavment sites to see if you like any of their advice and if you want to talk, talk to people about it.
    As I said earlier there is no right way or wrong way of dealing with it just your way. My heart goes out to you, I remember how it feels.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Omg sweetie, I'm sorry for your loss 😞 *hugs* I lost my bestfriend the 25th of June and it was horrible, I spent 2 months in my room crying and the worst part is that I didn't get the chance to tell her bye one lasr time... The wounds will heal but never disappear, I try to remember her as much as I can by thinking of our good memories and I see our old pictures...

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    • Thank you. I'm also sorry for your loss! I didn't get to say goodbye either, and it's horrible.

What Guys Said 13

  • I dealt with it the same as anyone else will... one awful day at a time.

    I lost my father and my wife within months of each other. I felt as though I would never smile again. I spent whole days weeping almost uncontrollably.

    Firstly, if it was appropriate, I NEVER denied myself a cry. If I was alone and had nothing that needed to be done, I never held back a single tear. I let them flow.
    At times at work I could not allow this, and so had to hold back. Sometimes a remark from a student about mommy or daddy would make my eyes feel like Hoover dam, holding back a Lake Meade of tears. But when I got home I never denied (and often COULDN'T deny) a single tear from being shed.

    Secondly, I surrounded myself with family and friends. They made it a point to try and connect with me, and when they didn't I connected with them. You don't have to feel 100%, or even 10%. Just try and be with them as best you can. Don't be afraid to tell them why you aren't 100% (but also be careful not to abuse this).

    Thirdly, when you are ready (and you don't have to be 100% ready), try and engage in activities that you enjoy, even if you feel you won't enjoy them. You'll find sometimes you don't enjoy them, or you feel guilty for enjoying them, but often times you'll find that the joy you felt before your loved one's passing will emerge, timidly at first perhaps. I traveled and sailed (both activities my wife only felt lukewarm at best about). I hiked. I camped.

    Lastly, try and remember that time is your ally. It is, I fear, as George Burns said about his beloved Gracie (Google them if you don't know them), "You cry and cry and cry until you stop."

    If you're asking this question for yourself and not for a friend, I am very sorry that you've lost a loved one, cl_517. I regret I haven't something more profound or wise to offer.

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  • There is no correct way. Deal with it in whatever way helps you cope and make peace with what's happened.

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  • I just lost a loved one and the way I deal with it is by knowing she is in a better place. I still get sad when I think about the kids missing their mom and how much of a good woman she was. Just writing make my eyes watery. I just tell myself she don't have to struggle no more or hurt no more and a woman that good is in a better place watching over us spiritually and she is still live inside of me. I will never forget the good time and the smile she had every time I seen her face that always lifted my spirit to make me feel that everything will be alright.
    May she rest in peace.
    And I'll pray for God to strengthen you to put your lost love one at peace and know that whoever you lost will always be with you.

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  • Have some time out, for yourself. To think, reflect and to grieve.
    Talk to those closest to you. Try and have some fun with them. Vent to them.
    Stay away from alcohol and drugs, they don't work. They will make you feel worse.
    Buy something nice to put on display in their memory.
    Sleep is good. Sleep is always nice.
    The best thing of all, have a cry. Don't let the emotions build up. It made me feel worse when I did that.

    You know where you can find me and the gang if you need a talk.

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  • Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Elaihi Raji'uun

    This being said, I don't think there's necessarily a correct or wrong way within limits, react as you think works it's an individual thing. Just don't do anything that could harm you more like bottling it up, if you don't want anyone to see your reaction then let out your feelings in private.

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  • I don't know. It took me a long time to get over my mom's death but I'm still not sure how I did. It's easier when you have support from everyone around you.

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  • I'm very sorry for your loss, first of all. Secondly, each person deals with death differently than others. It's not uncommon to cry. In fact, I cried. I cried in the bathroom at the funeral luncheon. It wasn't loud, but I was still sad about my grandpas dying.

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  • Lost my dad 8 months ago, it broke my emotional stability lol I rage out, get sad and switch moods often but I know he's up there in heaven waiting for me so that's thing that get me throigh

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  • I have a smoke, a drink, sleep and grieve for a couple days then I'm good.

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  • I take some time to mourn and then continue to work hard

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  • I wish I knew. My brother died when I was 14 and it still haunts me. Have your friends give you a big hug, and best of luck to you.

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  • I lost my dad a couple of years ago and was grieving for a very long time, I found that talking about him to people who knew him was the best help. The pain remains but it gets mellower as the time passes

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  • They're dead, get over it

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What Girls Said 7

  • The only thing you can do is try to wrap your head around what happened as hard as it may be. Think of all the good times you spent together, and your favorite things about the person. Its perfectly fine to allow yourself to "feel" whatever you feel... happiness, sadness, and everything in between. I am highly against anyone's advice who says to drink alcohol as it will heighten the pain and will make it worse. Being sober while grieving is important. Don't ever feel like you can't come to me or anyone else for some venting sweetie. I'm always here for you, be strong. 💖
    I love you Clarisa! ❤💜❤

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  • Sorry for your loss. Condolences 😞

    The only death of my loved ones that I really cared for was my grandpa.. He passed away three years ago (on the 26th of this month will be his third anniversary), he stayed in the ICU for 5 days and I never got to see him. I never got to say goodbye to him. That sucks, a lot.

    The time where I finally got to see him was when the body arrived home. That was the only time I allowed myself to finally cry, with my cousin sis hugging me. On the day of the funeral, I cried too. And when his body was gonna be cremated, I cried like a baby.

    I cry everytime I think of him.

    Don't bottle the feelings up. Cry as much as you want, when you need to.

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  • You hug bards and eat this motherfucking peanut butter cake she made you. ❤

    ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/.../...z-24013-1423223919-8.gif

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  • I think of all the good things they did and what an amazing impact they made on the world. I'm thankful for the chance to know them and have them in my life.

    It hurts and it always sort of will but eventually it will be better.

    ((H))

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  • Any way that you can, honey. It takes a very long time and you never really get over it.

    Allow yourself to go through any emotions that come up. That's the only thing I can tell you. Don't bottle it up. You will be much worse off if you do.

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  • I lost my father 4 years ago now. I'm still grieving. Most times I go off on my own some where peaceful & meditate.

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  • Cry about it for a while.

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