Why are people so bothered with quiet people?

I'm not socially awkward but I'm an introvert and being around people tends to drain me. I can do it easily and I'm genuinely friendly but for the most part I rather just be by myself.

They always seem to start to gossip about me and talk badly about me even when I never did anything to them. They critcize from what I'm wearing, to what I eat, and so on just about anything and they don't think I know.

But then the next thing I know they're back in my face trying to say hi to me.
They genuinely try to get my attention after all the mess they talked behind my back. =/


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Man I know that feel..
    "Why you quiet?"
    "Why don't say nothing?"
    "You don't like me?"
    "You don't like her?"
    I'm like I don't say much but it's all love y'all, chill :)

    I guess they still interested in you but with most likely with bad intentions since they talking shit about ya. They probably think you hate them and that you're arrogant too.

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    • Exactly! The questions they ask are always so weird!
      When I do speak to them I'm always kind but it's like that doesn't factor in or something.

      Great insight about the bad intentions part, I didn't even think to see it that way...

    • Np hope it helps and yeah watch out

What Guys Said 7

  • It all depends on the type of quiet. Personally people were put off from me back in school, but as I became more of an adult a lot of the same people started wanting to talk to me more. See I actually took the time to learn about people before I actively spoke to them. I acknowledge that my own opinions and believes do not match everyone around me. So when I speak to them I take their believes and opinions into account and do not confront them about it as it does not matter in order to have a civil conversation. While the people who thought I was quiet spent a lot of time argueing and fighting with people they thought were their friends, but all of the out spoken people had their believes and opinions and were unable to let them go for the sake of someone else. Finally the see me and they realize that I never told them that they were wrong. I never tried to force my life on to them. That all I ever wanted was to be my own person and let them be themselves. Suddenly they are asking me for advise, my opinion, to which I can tell them a few things that I have learned myself and learned from others and let them use the knowledge however they see fit.

    Then at the end of it all I realize how exhausting these pathetic humans are and I go home and lock myself in a room to listen to whatever music I think is amazing at the time. I simply do not require their praise or approval or even their acknowledgement and I prefer that they do not bother me with their childish need for for someone to approve of them. Someone to say "yeah you did that thing and you did it good and you were totally right about that thing" but that is just not me.

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  • Social people always need something to talk about. And when they can all agree with each other they feel powerful together. So when they gang up on the socially awkward, quuety, shy or anybody else that isn't socially comfortable, they can all feel good about being accepted by a large number of people and not left out, not talked about behind their backs, or to their faces.

    It gives them something oher than heir boring lives to talk about. Because social people really are pretty boring except for the nights hey had, what they did on the weekend, where they travelled to with their boyfriend girlfriend or friends and went drinking. Sorry run on sentences.

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  • Lack of familiarity, I'm guessing. People fear the unknown, right?

    The same goes with me. People have developed strange interpretations of my actions and have assigned weird reasons as to why I do things. So, inaccurate rumors about me can sometimes result and abound.

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  • There is that old saying, "its better to keep quiet and believes you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt" in my experience people don't know what to do with a quiet person. They either think you are stupid or are intimidated by you.

    Don't worry about what they think. You have no control over their demons nor will you ever find a way to satisfy the insecurities of others. Worry about you and the things you can control.

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  • ... It's normal.

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  • I fully empathize with you. I am in the exact same boat, sorry I can't give you any help. I hate more than anything when people ask me why I don't talk. I just look a t them and say because I don't have anything to say

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  • It's OK to be shy but, how do you plan to be in a relationship, if you can't communicate how you feel.

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    • What are you even talking about?

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    • Boy you're annoying lmao

      Being shy doesn't mean you can't communicate your needs in a relationship. And that was really irrelevant anyway

    • Of course she can't. Being shy means, uncommunicative. Don't you get it. You need to back off bro

What Girls Said 6

  • I think its because their pride is wounded when they are not given positive reception by you. A lot of people use their relationships with people to boost their ego and nearly everybody you talk to will try to boost your ego in some way so when somebody doesn't do that they get angry. Its habit.

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  • I think they feel uncomfortable with the silence. o. O

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  • when i was younger people used to ask me why are you so quiet and i never had a good answer only know do i realize that i should ask them why they are so loud.

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  • Its not because you quiet they might be jealous of you so they want to make you feel low to make themselves feel better just ignore they just going to be worthless when they older unless they change.

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  • Cause they are assuming you're stuck up

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  • Those type of people you mentioned aren't even worth knowing. They'll probably talk and bitch about their own best friend too. Some people think quiet people are vulnerable, and bullies always target vulnerable people.

    In life you will be rated , hated and talked about... you just have to decide who's opinions matter and who's don't. They are judging you based on their ignorance, so you should judge them on their behaviour and completly ignore them when they speak to you.

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