Gaggers live in a fairy tale world?

I've been here for more than a year and I keep seeing the same type of stuff, people that say things and believe in stuff that is far from what reality is.
"You'll find someone that will like you no matter what". Bullshit, if you're a bitch no one's gonna like you.
"Be yourself". Bullshit, liars get what they want.
"Everyone's beautiful". Bullshit.

In my life, I've experienced exactly the opposite of what most people on here say. When I was a young teenager I was a player/liar and someone different than who I really was, and I got everything: the girls, the friends, the respect...
So no, life is not a fairy tale like most people in here try to make it look like. Life's a bitch, and if you're not a bitch too, you're gonna get fucked.

I know some people will disagree and say stuff, but I also know many others will agree.

Do you agree, or disagree, both with my initial question and what I said afterwards?

  • Agree
    47% (27)66% (35)56% (62)Vote
  • Disagree
    53% (31)34% (18)44% (49)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think GaG is like a big fantasy world for some users, I definitely agree. Somewhere they can come to sort of escape from their lack of success with the opposite sex, or possible heartbreak in real life. There's a lot of ass-kissing that goes on here, which doesn't help the matter.

    To the countless questions saying 'Will I ever find someone?/Boyfriend broke up with me- forever alone?', there are just as many users who flock in and reassure them that their mr./mrs. right will find them sooner than later. Giving a false sense of hope.

    Of course everyone is capable of fining someone for themselves, but the way I see it go back and forth on here, leaves many thinking that they can just sit back and do nothing, that the right person will seek them out & woo them with no limits. :/

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    • Exactly, that's the exact point I'm trying to make, that many people believe that if they do nothing they can get the guy/girl they want, and that's not gonna happen, especially if the person has some sort of negative habits that push people away, if you don't honestly tell them that THEY are the problem why no one wants them, then they're not gonna change and will eventually end up alone.
      Sometimes the truth can hurt like a bitch, but in the end it's always helpful.

    • Frankly I don't go out much so I'm waiting for that person to come to my door...

    • @Asker
      lol yessss I'm in the same boat as you. So many times after I replied to those sorts of questions suggesting that they could maybe join a club at their uni and meet new people through there. To which the qa would actually counter my suggestion, saying 'no, I'm shy. I'd prefer to just hang around and if the right person is there, they'll approach me sooner or later anyway.'
      *facepalm*

Most Helpful Guy

  • Not just on gag but real life too.

    The biggest fairy tale that people believe in is that looks don't matter.

    They always post questions like, "girls, what would you prefer hot guy with shitty personality or ugly guy with amazing personality"

    Now most girls will vote neither but in real life, they never have to make that choice.

    The more realistic choice is Hot guy with average personality vs Average looking guy with great personality and in my opinion the hot guy with the average personality will do way better. Hell get a lot more sex and he'll get it sooner and with less effort.

    Being attractive also makes people see your personality traits as being better than they actually are. So if you're hot, it could make your average personality initially be perceived as slightly better than it really is. This is often called the halo effect.

    Looks don't matter is the biggest lie ever told.

    The main reason why you were successful as a player isn't just because you were willing to lie, but because you're tall, good looking, and likely have decent social skills.

    Looks, confidence, and social skills are, by far, the three most important traits when it comes to attracting girls and getting easy sex.

    Intelligence, integrity, honestly, being successful mainly only help when girls are looking to settle down. Those traits don't get you laid when you're young, they dont make girls lust after you, and they dont get you sex on the first date.

    there's a lot of guys who believe "being nice" will get you laid and that looks don't matter. They need a serious wakeup call.

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What Girls Said 28

  • Honestly, I think people say all those lies just to get MHOs. The more you lick the Asker's ass and say what they wanna hear, the higher is the likelihood of you getting the MHO. Which is kinda pathetic and a pussy move.

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  • No offense but just because these things didn't work out for you doesn't mean that every thing you just listed is bullsh*t or a lie.

    Yes it's not good to get people's hopes up but you can't just sit here and say that this stuff isn't true either because you can't predict the future can you now? Believe it or not some people actually get want they want whether it's the girl or guy, job, lottery, etc sometimes so it's not all bullsh*t majority of the time yes but not all the time.

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    • That's why this is my opinion based on my life experiences, like I said. And that's why I asked people if they agree or disagree. I'm not trying to say "it's this and that, blah blah blah", if I was trying to do that I wouldn't have asked if you agree or not.

    • Yeah I didn't mean it in a hostile way or anything along those lines.

  • I have notice a lot of people on here to tend to try really hard not to step on people's toes. Sometimes the truth hurts but others can't bring themselves to say what they truly think. So majority of the time you won't get 100% honesty about something.

    "You'll find someone that will like you no matter what". They may find it or they may not. Nobody can predict the future so it could happen. Just might take longer for some people than others.

    "Be yourself." If your a strong person and don't let others push you around and stand by it. Then yes you should be yourself. That way you don't have any fake person around you. Even if you end up alone majority of your life because of it. Better that than to be someone your not and your whole life ends up being a huge lie.

    "Everyone's beautiful". Physically and mentally no not everyone is. That is a sad truth as well.

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    • But by saying "be yourself" you're also saying "No matter how many flaws you have, keep being yourself, don't try to improve and become a better person". If you tell an arrogant person "be yourself" they'll never become humble.

    • Oh well yeah if you put it like that then they should be themselves but always to try improve the flaws that they can change.

      I guess most people think "be yourself" as more like don't act like someone your not. Just get get others to like you and be around you.

  • Sometimes, I feel like that's true - those terms are thrown around way too much. For some people it's actually legit advice - they're just insecure but there's really nothing wrong with them, so a generic "just be yourself and things will work out fine" is enough. Then sometimes I think people are just throwing out generic responses because its the same question that's been asked to death, or they're xper farming.
    Some people might actually believe in the advice they give though. I do actually tend to find at least one attractive thing about nearly everyone. It's actually useless here and I don't advertise it much. LOL. But still, some people really do believe that everyone will find someone who likes them and shit like that.

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  • I agree in general, life is tough and being nice won't always get you what you want

    But with regards of dating, I don't think that's true in the long run. I mean I see a lot of guys go with girls that are really mean and bitchy but it usually doesn't last longer than a few months.
    And that's not what I want. I DO think being nice and having patience will get you further. Well I hope.

    Like in your case, maybe that worked when you were 16, but eventually high school is over and eventually you're gonna be old and die alone if you can't treat someone decently

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    • Perhaps, but even at my age (almost 20) I still get more success the worse I treat the girl (obviously without being a total asshole or harming her).

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    • that's not treating her bad, that's playing childish games on both sides. And personally I wouldn't want to be with someone like that.
      Regardless of whether it works or not I wouldn't want to be with someone like that really.

      I'd rather be with someone nice and mature and ya maybe it takes some time, but I do believe there are guys like that. If that makes me naive, whatever

    • I agree it's childish and immature, but it's the only way to get what you want. I don't want a relationship, and the way I was acting only got me girls rejecting me and getting interest from those who wanted a relationship, something I don't want, and I still got only very few girls interested in me.

      Of course there are guys like how you want, I'm not saying otherwise, but in my experience, few girls go for what you say you want, even though almost all say that that's what they want.

  • Agree.

    But I just try to be nice XD what's wrong with that?
    There are lot of people going to tough times.. if I tell them "no one will ever like you" that would probably kill them XD

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    • If you try to be nice and you lie, then you're setting up a false expectation and sense of betrayal down the road. How about being nice but honest?

      It can be done. "You might get someone; in the meantime, do some work on yourself. It will make you more desirable and build your confidence. And in the meantime, you might find you need someone else a lot less."

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    • @brain5000 Mick Jagger was considered beautiful cause he was a Rock Star, the money and the fame attracted the girls, not his beauty.
      So yeah, maybe you're right, you still have chances if you're ugly, get money and if possible fame.

    • Yes, he got the hot girls by being a rock star, it's true, but he was still considered beautiful. You didn't hear the same thing about, say, Pete Townshend. Although you can rest assured Pete probably got the requisite rock star groupies too.

      I was using Mick as an example of how a man can make himself "unconventionally beautiful," just as a woman can. Somehow I don't think that was quite as important to Pete. Or maybe he was considered unconventionally beautiful. As a straight guy I really don't know.

  • I know plenty of guys with bitchy ass girlfriends, so there's that. I do believe that there's beauty in everyone and that just because one person doesn't find someone attractive doesn't mean that another won't. I'm genuine in pretty much all of my answers. I don't sugarcoat shit but I also don't go outta my way to be a dick either.

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  • Its not true. Sometimes being good and having good manners pays. Think of Bill Gates who has devoted his life to humanitarian causes and remained faithful to the same woman despite being the richest man in the world.

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  • But when you were a young teenager and got all that from lying.. did that truly make you happy or did those friendships and relationships feel fake, because you know they only like you for who you're pretending to be and might not like who you really are? I remember you posted about depression.. was it during that time, or after, when you were yourself and weren't successful with it?
    Does a girl who got her face done to look completely different think people who compliment how pretty her face is are really complimenting her.. or the surgeon's good job?

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    • Oh, I felt happier than I felt once I stopped being like that. I wasn't faking all my personality, but I was lying about the negative stuff, pretending there was none.
      It was before I got depressed.

    • Did it start when you moved to the US? It could be a weather-thing, not as much as sun as you're used to.

    • No, it started when I was still in Spain, in HS. I got happier when I got to the US.

  • "Gaggers live in a fairy tale world?"
    Yes, to an extent. I think most here want to make the other feel better, so the habit is going positive spin when answering questions. Lately, i haven't been answering "deep" questions, i try and be as honest as possible given my personal experiences

    "Life's a bitch, and if you're not a bitch too, you're gonna get fucked."
    Life is not peachy keen for everyone. Yet, i don't think bitchiness is a necessary condition for not getting fucked over. It's more a matter of assertiveness and confidence unless you equate either of the qualities with bitchiness.

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  • You are right but I think that the individuals who are saying "You'll find somebody," are not exactly lying either because people do sometimes end up finding someone. Also, it serves as a motivation for people who have a hard time finding a partner, and sometimes it works out for them (if they use it correctly or get help).

    If we gave up hope and accepted as life as a 'bitch' that doesn't care for anyone, then how will we ever be motivated to at least try to make a change.

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    • But what's the motivation behind "you will find someone"? That won't make them change to become better and actually finding someone. The truth will motivate you, the lies won't.

      Saying life's a bitch motivates you to become better than it and beat her, instead of thinking it's a fairy tale that will give you whatever you want no matter what type of person you are.

    • The motivation behind "You'll find someone" are several. One to make the other person feel better, Two, to make the person saying the advice, feel good about giving out advice. And three, to make the other people reading the advice or hearing it, some hope for themselves too.

      I know, why can't people grow some balls and just be honest instead of telling lies about like "You'll find somebody". Because people want reassurance, because they are emotional human beings. Yup life is still an emotionless bitch.

  • I agree.

    Being nice is a weakness not a good abillity to have. People use you instead of actually caring about you. so nice people automatically becomes doormates.

    The way the world is right now i would rather comment around on gag then talk to people. I still try to hope, but it's so hard... there seem to be none out there who appreciate friendship just as much as me.

    I guess i can at least enjoy gag as a escape from the world outside.

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  • What can I say we are all screwed if we don't act !

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  • I see plenty of responses saying that the person is a dick and that's why they don't have someone, as for your story I don't get it. You say not to be a bitch but them tell story's of how being a bitch got you girls n stuff.

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    • Just because being a bitch got me what I wanted doesn't mean it's morally right.

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    • Well, being a player and a liar doesn't mean I'm a bitch. It's not like I made other people's life impossible. I just said lies about who I was to paint a better picture of myself.

    • You get my point though...

  • I absolutely agree. The world doesn't give a flying fuck about your feelings, you've gotta harden up.
    I hate when people say things like 'never change' and 'accept your flaws'. We all need to change. It's called personal growth, and this obsession with being the same shitty people our entire lives, and never working on flaws, is fucking up society.

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  • It's possible to be nice and a general all around decent human being when delivering the truth to people.

    I haven't figured it out yet, but I know it's possible.

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    • It is possible, but people assume that if the truth is negative, then you're being a dick, and that's not true, you're just stating the truth.

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    • Yeah, but sometimes it's difficult when the other person is too much of an asshole xD

    • Oh in that case, then don't hold back lol. But if the other person is generally just naive then I don't see the harm in picking how to phrase your dickiness better. 😜

  • I've been saying this since i first joined this site! It especially irritates me when people say that looks don't matter, it's all about personality.

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  • Yes, they are. I don't respond to post in which I know I'm gonna come off mean because I'm just that brutally fucking honest.

    Rate you? How do I look? Like do you really want me to? Shit like that I just don't respond to. People on here try to be nice and I get it but lying to someone to make them feel better is actually not a good thing.

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    • Agreed. I never comment on the rate me questions of people I don't find attractive, cause either I lie (which I'm not gonna do), or I'll tell you the truth and I get labeled a jerk, so I just stay quiet.

  • GaG is just a dream.

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  • I disagree some, but not completely lol. I do think that people can be loved for who they are but that doesn't give them the right to be asses or not take care of themselves. That's going to far. I also think people do need to be tough. So I agree and disagree.

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  • Disagree. I never lied before. This way I got a lot of true friends. The friends you get the other way may like who you're acting as but not who you are. Wouldn't make me happy. You might have more "friends", but I don't think that they are friends. Plus I actually think everyone is beautiful, because I don't care for looks at all. Maybe the "you find somone" stuff is stupid. But I rather stay alone than acting as somone I'm not. This would be way too stressful for my liking.

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  • yeah i can see where you're coming from and i somewhat agree but i guess everyone has lived a different life and see things differently and let alone experience stuff differently, so some stuff that people say come from experience :)

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  • True ..,

    They think sex has no consequences. Women on here do that.

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  • Pretty nice comments since its the internet.

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  • I smell bitterness.

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  • Lol I agree people on here try to make it look like shit will just fall in their lap. And so many men on here say they want a relationship are lying. And the men who say they only have sex in a relationship are lying. If guys on gag claim to be so respectful of their ex girlfriends then why are so many single

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    • I think most users come here to just lick their wounds

  • I agree. It could be they give everyone the benefit of the doubt without taking into consideration that idealism and real life are two separate things. I mean, who really wants to tell someone the truth about a situation when they can easily sugar coat it by saying half truths and white lies? Life is harsh sometimes and not everyone gets what they want in that moment. That being said, life is unpredictable as well, so good things can happen, although not in a way you may expect.

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  • http://i.imgur.com/wFJiv2w.gifv

    I do agree with you, to an extent. Although I am quite happy living in my bubble. I am well aware of how horrible things can get, I've been through things... but I would much rather be positive and supportive than pessimistic. You have some users on here that are painfully blunt and others that are super sweet. I like seeing both types.

    I admire those that are direct (but not the mean trolls), but appreciate the uplifting positive attitude of other users as well. It's like a balance, I like both. But I know what I like and give my opinions based on that., People are free to try to do the same or do something different.

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    • It's not being pessimistic, it's being realistic. If your life isn't working, fucking change! If you tell someone "everything is gonna be alright, relax" their life isn't gonna change. Lying doesn't help, it just eases the pain until the next disaster happens.

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    • Exactly! Well said.

    • " people should elaborate and give constructive criticism to help the person out."

      Because that's the point of this site? I think there is far too much positivity in this world, and it is bad for us all. Anyone else see "Roger and Me?"

What Guys Said 27

  • You're right. The richest people in the world evade taxes and the most famous ones may have just had sex with the right people at the right times in order to get their fame. As a trend, ugly people don't do as well in life; neither do stupid people; neither do poor people; and neither do those with no friends. I love this question. I hate sugarcoating things.

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  • ""Life's a bitch, and if you're not a bitch too, you're gonna get fucked.""

    I don't want to agree with that, that is an unhealthy view.

    """You'll find someone that will like you no matter what". Bullshit, if you're a bitch no one's gonna like you.
    "Be yourself". Bullshit, liars get what they want.
    "Everyone's beautiful". Bullshit.""

    This is true, so I clicked "agree".

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  • "Gaggers live in a fairy tale world?" <- Yes!

    But the rest of what ya said? In general yeah but I don't know I mean yeah it's just feel good words but there is someone out there for everyone. Lol like there is someone out in the world who would, not date, but marry the most busted up, ratchet, bitchy person you and I know.

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  • True true, yes I agree, I have been down that very road and nothing is at the end of it.
    I would say that life gets 10X easier than when you quit lying/pretending and all that BS. What a lot of people don't understand is that you can still make leaps while in that state. It may not feel that way right now, but in 10-20 years time you will look back and think yeash why the hell did i put myself into that shit storm.

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  • i think people need to be honest when answering questions, mostly i am honest, although i am naturally optimistic :)
    so most of my opinions have been nice, although sometimes i can make blunt and not so nice opinions if it means being honest with the asker and myself

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    • I also try to remain as honest as possible, and being nice, but I think I'm gonna stop that and just be blunt, without unnecessarily hurting feelings, but without caring too much about it.

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    • The main pitfall I have found with being blunt is that I can see a situation where someone posts a picture of a less-than-attractive "friend" with the tag "rate me." If people are cruel and blunt, it's cyber-bullying.

      As long as it isn't personal, please be as blunt as you possibly can.

    • @brain5000 good point
      gotta be cautious nowadays

  • There is definitely some patronizing going on here... some do talk like they don't understand how the real world functions.

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  • Well I feel sorry for you then, as for life well life is only a bitch if you let be just like life will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently but only if you let it.

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    • So you're agreeing with me, life's a bitch, it's just up to the person to let it beat you up or no.

    • No what I'm saying is that yes life is hard but you and others have no one to blame but yourself if it doesn't workout the way you want it to we are the architects of our own futures, it is up to us whether we build a strong foundation go on to live the lives we want or you can break down and fall to pieces, but you can do either and should do either while staying true to who you are.

      Which relates to what you were saying: "Be yourself". Bullshit, liars get what they want

      Well I am always myself and it works for me -shrugs- I know many others who do the same, no liars just us.

  • Let's say it's hard to get an honest opinion here, even though everyone can respond anonymously. Maybe the concept of this site is still too social to encourage true, painful honesty. Most people treat MHO like "what suits my beliefs" or "what I wanted to hear all along".

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  • Haha to some degree yes... you also see questions about peoples' fantasies so I guess to some degree it's okay as long as people know which part of their fantasy is realistic and which part is illusive :D

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  • "When I was a young teenager I was a player/liar and someone different than who I really was, and I got everything: the girls, the friends, the respect… "

    What about self-respect?

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    • I respected my self, I had confidence, but that got me everything I wanted. I don't see where the lack of self-respect is in there.

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    • It's not just morally wrong; it's unsustainable.

    • As points go, it's a valid point. But your OP presents it more as a lesson, and it's not a valid lesson for the reason we both agree on. There's a difference.

  • I agree to some extent. But 19 is to young to jump to the conclusion that there is no one out there that will like you for you. You have yet to live.

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    • I didn't mean it like that, I mean that if people cry about never finding someone, maybe the problem is them, not us.
      The other day a girl was upset because his boyfriend broke up with her, and at the end of the post she said she sometimes hates men. Obviously that's the reason why she got dumped, and there were people telling her that she will find someone that will like who she is, that she doesn't have to change... you think a man is gonna date a man-hater?
      Everyone can find someone, but not every attitude is capable of attracting someone.

    • I hate that I can't upvote your replies to comments, Asker.

    • @brain5000 It's ok, thanks for the appreciation :)

  • A lot of the things people say is bullshit but there is truth.

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    • Little truth, too many lies trying to make people feel better instead of helping them.

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    • I try, but most of the time I just read stuff that completely contradict what I've experienced.

    • Yes a lot of things will contradict what you know but some of them are true

  • This has nothing to do with GaG and everything to do with our "no child left behind" society that always has to give someone a medal just for running the race

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    • Perhaps, but I don't hear people talk like how many people on GAG do.

    • Yeah, you're only 19. I've heard it all IRL.

      These are just prerecorded messages people have in their brains. They're preprogrammed responses, like most things are in social situations. Luckily, thanks to having Aspergers, I wasn't programmed for those responses, and can therefor see past them

  • -------------------------------

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUgQPzq6ifc

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  • Completely agree but one word to u in person CHILL OUT UR GONNA EXPLODE 😂😂

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    • Hahaha sorry, I've been in kind of an angry philosophical mood recently, that's why I came out with this question xD

  • I agree and I also disagree. There is no black and white only grey. We live in a grey world. So take a mixture of the nicest answer and the rudest one and u might find the truth

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  • I'm going to tell you something you should know, life isn't about how hard your hit it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, that's how winning is done.

    Someone I knew once said life waits for no man and neither does history.

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  • Nah dood we all want MHO we're xper whores

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  • No, GaGers live in cyber world :P

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  • If it pisses you off so much then leave the website.

    "I was a player and got the girls." Hahaha thanks I needed that chuckle.

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  • depends. that's just your view the world is a mess.

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    • but then i guess you have a point... dating advice is bollocks for the most part.

  • Don't you hate it when people spew out their opinions like they were facts?

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    • Yes, that's why I never said they were facts, I clearly said "in my life, I've experienced..." and I asked people if they agree or disagreed.

  • This is the realest question I've seen so far. Most of these people on here who say they agree are the main ones telling guys that personality and confidence matters more than looks , and telling guys to work out and work on themselves as if there's no such thing as the very real possibility that there's guys who will never get a woman no matter what they do. So I'll call the majority of the people that answered this question hypocrites because a lot of them feed guys who are deemed universally unattractive to the majority of women some "You'll find someone" BS.

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  • This entire site is a fairy tale world

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  • For some reason, I kind of doubt that you were ever the way you described yourself in the description lol.

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    • Well, you can think whatever you want, I'm not here to prove people about my past.

    • Lol I was just saying, I don't know if I'm right or not.

  • This isn't in answer to your question but I just like to ask you something based on what you've said here.

    You say you were a player/liar when you were a teenager and you got everything because of it. The girls, the respect, the friends etc. So what made you stop being a player/liar if you got everything?

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    • It's wrong. I started being more mature and having morals and ethics, and realized that playing with girl's emotions isn't right. Same with lying.
      Yes, I miss having more girls, but I think I'm doing the right thing by being more honest and true.

    • That's good man. You're definitely doing the right thing.

  • You are a dumbass. IF you fish for easy shit... you get easy shit. Life ain't easy however either... they call it being strong for a reason. But you wouldn't know what that is because you have never experienced it for yourself and your view is very limited.

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    • Best way to start a comment, you expect me to take you seriously after insulting me and not even showing your face. Cool ;)

    • Cause that is so important? idont care what you think. i said my piece regarding the topic at hand... but if you do care to dedicate more time and attention to the tiny nuances then so be it... your choice homeboy.

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