How much do you think you've changed over the years?


How much do you think you've changed over the years?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was a very lost guy without drive or purpose who would only seek out abusive relationships. Now I have a drive and a purpose I want to aim myself at. I recognize that I have dignity and worth and can do anything that I set my mind to.

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    • I'm interested to know, how did you discover/recognize that you have worth?

      This is prolly the thing I struggle with the most. I mean, I have moments when I feel it.. but, they always fade.. and year over year, I think I feel like I have less and less.

    • Show All
    • In what way were your relationships abusive?

      Did you ever like the abuse?

    • I never liked it.. I think I was drawn to it because I felt like I deserved it. Now I realize I'm awesome so my last relationship was positive. They were abusive in the sense that I was talked down to all the time and degraded as a human being.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Visually, hardly at all. If you look at photos of me from when I was 14 compared to now, I'm identical. Just different make up.

    Emotionally it's a different story. I've grown so much, I've been beaten down and brought back up. I honestly never thought I would still be standing here today. I used to have no belief in myself, no trust in others, no confidence to speak up for myself and used to just accept the pain given to me because I thought I deserved it. It's only recently I've been learning I don't deserve what's happened to me.

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What Guys Said 17

  • When I was in, oh, 4th-8th Grade, I was bullied and given a hard time because I wouldn't fight back. My well-meaning parents taught me "fighting is bad" - when they SHOULD have taught me "STARTING fights is bad." I was also taught to care - TOO MUCH - about what others thought of me, which made me too afraid to do anything that might upset or offend someone. I was pretty miserable, and I had very little self-confidence with people my age.

    In 9th Grade, for some reason, I'd had enough - or, rather, too much, and something "clicked", and I just stopped caring about what most people thought of me, outside of a small pool of specific people. Amazingly, I learned that once I stopped caring about what other people thought of me, it actually caused most people to think BETTER of me. While that seems to defy logic, there are plenty of examples - if you think about the coolest people you know, you immediately realize that they generally don't care what ANYONE thinks about them or what they do - that's what makes them cool. But it's very difficult to overcome your childhood programming.

    It still took me into my 20s to understand women, because, again, surface logic will fail you. It's the classic "Nice Guy" trap - you can't make up for a lack of confidence by being nicer, or more romantic, or doing more things for a girl - she'll take advantage of you while simultaneously despising you. I used to think that the only other option was being a jerk - a "Bad Boy", but eventually I realized that most women really don't want either one - they want an ALPHA - a GOOD guy who is nevertheless a leader, who takes charge, makes decisions, and takes no crap from anyone. That doesn't prevent him from being nice, or doing nice things for people sometimes, but that never comes from a place of weakness or lack-of-confidence. It took a few years to embrace that side of me too, and to not feel bad about it.

    It's easy to say the words "it's up to me", but I think a lot of us still feel like SOMEONE is eventually going to show up and fix things for us. Well, they aren't, an the sooner you accept that, and start taking FULL responsibility for yourself, your decisions (and their consequences), and your own happiness, the better off you'll be.

    That's the important stuff that life has taught me.

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  • Internet has changed my perspectives on myself a lot, including dating, relationships, self esteem, confidences etc. One of my greatest mentors is Johhny Berba, although he always says ''no tricks'' when you're talking to women where some of the PUAs, guys may not agree this, and shall say ''hey, you should use some methods to attract beautiful women' , reality has been I actually liked his honesty & congruency approaching things and the reality is i have been following him for quite a period of time.

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  • I have completely changed who I am in just the last 5 years or so. not to mention from way back in my childhood.
    I am very layed back now. I just roll with the homies... I don't stress about the little things anymore. I used to be very defensive. I used to be almost OCD like when it came to plans and if they changed. I always had to have things planned out days or weeks in advance or forgetaboutit.

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  • Too much, in some aspects. Not at all in other aspects.

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  • I don't think I've changed that much, except building up life experience.
    I've always been a guy who liked to help, and who has a more than healthy sense of humour. From age 20 to 40 that has more or less remained equal :D

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  • A LOT! I've changed A LOT

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  • Me... well i had low confidence! I was dumb and immature. I was a misfit. I was socially awkward. i was bullied.
    this was 3 years ago...

    Now everthing is set and i feel lucky!

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  • I suppose it depends in what way or aspect your referring to.

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  • @meowkittycat ma LUV for u hasn't change abit even after the day u left meh :'(

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  • I've changed a lot. I have much hairier legs now than before. I prefer short hair to long, not to mention my body is much less toned

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  • I've changed a lot not sure if it's for the better.

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  • I've known you for enough years now that I could probably tell you how much you've changed lol

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  • I think I've changed a lot the few years that have passed.

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  • I'm more fabulous.

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  • Internet changed me a lot, from unknowing to a wonderer :D

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  • I'm just becoming more and more bitter and resentful as time move forwards.

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  • I kind of went from being an airhead hippie type to being a cynical intelligent asshole , well sort of an asshole.

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What Girls Said 13

  • I change so much every single year. I do know for a fact that when you get to the young adult stage in life where I am now you gotta start taking life serious and you're kind of at that point where you wanna be independent but still depend on your parents most of the time.
    But not only that has changed me, growing up I've moved around to many places, and I do believe after every year I become more and more open minded about things and try to look through other people's perspective more, especially after studying psychology ahah but also because I've gone through so much shit for the past few years.
    I do always wonder what it'd be like to meet the 14 year old me. Since I always seem to think in my head I'm still 14 and my parents are still the same age as when I was 14. Like when it's my mums birthday, every time it's my mum's birthday I seem to think she's turning 45 but she's actually turning 50, same thing with my dad... I don't know why my head is stuck on that number it's strange... I'm an adult now goddammit. 😂

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  • I've changed some things but, I'm not completely different. Back then I had 0 confidence in myself. I let people tease me about me being over weight and being ugly and what not. Now, I lost a ton of weight (103lbs :) ) and I did it because I wanted to. I got more confident as a whole period. I use to be a coward because I was scared to stick up for myself. I was in a abusive relationship and I was scared to voice my opinion in fear of being beat on relentlessly. Eventually, I got the strength to stand up and speak up. As of now, I'm working on not being so hot-headed. Its going good so far.

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  • I'm not sure because I don't have much to compare myself to. I don't know who I was yesterday and I don't know who I am today. All I know is that I am continuously trying to improve who I am.

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  • I changed a lot in some ways. For example I was more strict and perfectionist. Now I am different. No need perfection. I just need to be myself.
    I did not change in some ways. For example i do not believe everything I hear. I have my truth. I still have.

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  • I lost my drive

    I then slowly gained it back

    but it is so sure that I am not as confident in my abilities as I used to be or maybe I just became lazy, because things didn't go my way in the past 3 years. So why bother?

    I find myself making a mistake yet again. The only thing that somehow cheers me up is knowing that this mistake won't be a serious one as others have.
    However, I see myself falling into the same pattern and I don't like it.

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  • I drastically changed physically speaking , I had a baby face for a long time,
    Personality wise.. mm I changed a lot as-well

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  • I've changed a lot and I still am changing.
    I used to worry about what others think, now it's much less. Also, I've matured and taught myself lots of things through lactures and articles.

    I'm really thankful for this wonderful change.

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  • I was the toad who turned into the princess, so in college I was a sex fiend. Over the past few years I have calmed down, but still get a bit freaky. But I am getting married soon so that will have to change.

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  • Physically a lot, mentally a lot too.

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  • A ridiculous amount. It's kinda freaky when i think about it.

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  • I have changed a lot actually

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  • I feel exactly like the picture you have posted with your question.

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  • I was a dumb naive girl, in an abusive relationship to a determine career woman :)

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