How to be less aggressive?

I feel like I'm too aggressive in life. What to do? Someone please tame me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm... to a certain extent, a lot of it is personality. It is difficult to change personality. The other issue is that if you do give up being what you consider "aggressive," you may end up giving up parts of your personality that make you 'you,' basically the pieces that you like. For instance, you may end up stop being completely honest or straightforward because you'll be in the habit of worrying what people think.

    In general, what I would suggest is...
    ---- When you know you are angry, don't take it out on other people. Find an outlet. For me that is music. For you, that may be listening to music, or going on GAG, or watching youtube videos of cats, or whatever. You need to try and simmer down before you explode before others.
    ---- Think before what you say a little more. HOWEVER, do it sparingly. You DON'T want to end up being worried about being honest because of worrying about someone's feelings. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that you should try and filter straight up insults before you say them. If you think of insults, keep them in your head. Insults just create unnecessary aggression between people.
    ---- Try not to escalate situations. Often times aggressive behavior starts when one party gets angry, the other party matches the anger and shows more aggression, and before you know it each side continually gets angrier and angrier. If you stay calm though, it just makes the other person look like a fool when they are yelling by themselves. This just requires a bit of self awareness and containing rage to insults or slander.

    I saw it was also mentioned by someone that you should stop listening to rock music and start listening to romantic music. False.
    I listen to all sorts of rock music all day and I don't get angry a ton. It all depends on how much you let the lyrical contents of the music shape your life. The music you listen to is pretty chill anyway xD

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Try looking at things from other people's perspective before reacting. Not every situation warrants the same reaction. I don't know how you are IRL but on here you are pretty aggressive. And while sometimes it's justified, other times it's not. I don't think you should turn it completely off because then you wouldn't be you. Maybe just realize that you don't need to chew EVERYONE'S head off lol.

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What Guys Said 28

  • Aggression most of the time is borne out frustration about something - First thing to do is look at what maybe you are frustrated about and can you do anything about it - I think it is fair to say that most of us feel the frustration of "Nobody gets me totally" and "How can I get my point across correctly without people misunderstanding me" - I didn't really think about this until I met my friend's future wife a few years ago and the conversation turned to why they were together and while I was expecting all romantic stuff she just said that he was the first person she met who totally got her. I thought that was a lovely way of describing a loving relationship.
    Anyway back to the question when you see your frustration, you can think that I can let this turn to aggression and exasperate the situation making it worse (I feel a negative) or you actually ignore it and keep being yourself hopefully showing your true side calmly using this personality style to portray yourself in best light (I feel a positive).
    My final point is not to confuse aggression with passion - Passion is good depending on how you use it. To sum up just say to yourself I am good/nice person and by letting frustration get the better of me, I am not helping the situation. It is not an easy road but we all have these emotions but by staying away from aggression it becomes better/easier in long run.

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  • Mmmm, how I wish this invitation was truly being extended to me. If I woulda ran across a girl like you when I was 18 or 20 I would not have known how to handle her yet. However, if I could've known then what I know now... I think she woulda been a very happy girl. It all makes me think of that Brad Paisley song, If I Could Write a Letter to Me. HaHa! I wouldn't tell me to study harder or listen to dad more. Well, I woulda did that too. But I woulda put a lot more advice into understanding girls like you. Hmmm. I hope you find that lioness tamer you seek!

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  • Ask yourself, would you go for a guy who had a reputation for abusing his girlfriends, then ask yourself, would you like a reputation like that, and would you think its ok to hurt someone emotionally/physically. If you treat people how you want to be treated, then often the aggression simmers out and the true you becomes more confident without the aggression, x

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  • You need some Jesus in your life.

    www.quotesmeme.com/.../i4n0w.jpg

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  • I don't think agressiveness is something necessarily bad. Sometimes being agressive stop us from being submissive or accepting oppression without contesting.

    An agressive person can turn out to become a political activist fighting for rights or an animal abuser. Your ethics will play an important role in determining which one.

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    • I hate politics.
      I love animals more than anything.
      I'll turn into a human abuser.

  • You aren't aggressive here!
    Try to give your aggressivity an outlet through sport.

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  • Haha maybe find yourself a smiling boxing champion, than you can be aggressive while giving love :D
    And he'll tame you, or try to hahaha 8)

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  • You mean you are too determined to get somewhere in life or.. are you being too aggressive to others?

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    • To others ;(

    • Show All
    • Thanks for the advice.

  • over here you need not be aggressive as most of the people you do not know. you need not attack people as you will never meet them and you do not necessarily understand them. calm down, chill and enjoy the posts and answers. even the attention, even if it seems creepy, that you are getting. I am probably going to get some form of sarcastic answer again but what the hell. that is what I have to say.

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  • 😂 bad Diana bad Diane calm down calm down good Diana who's a good Diana you are YOU ARE 😀

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  • Find something to let your aggression out. Don't know what works best for you but if I remember you don't do any sports... that would be a start.

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  • How would you know exactly? you've never dated with the exception of our Asian friend down before.

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    • I'm not exactly talking about relationships.
      In general.

    • Ah I see well just try not to be so assertive, I guess think of it as taking a break and letting someone else take the lead.

  • Elaborate, like how do you think you are too agressive and why is it a problem?

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    • I just am, and people don't deserve to be treated like that 😭😂

    • Well then don't! Agressive girls are pretty awesome though I must say! :D

  • I see no reason to change. At least you will often get what you want. If you're a wimp like me, people will just walk all over you.

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  • Lemme fart on your face... you'll be humble in a second.

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  • Why do you think you need 'taming'?

    Instead, accept it as passion and chanel it in different ways

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  • Why do you feel this way? Do you mean aggressive or angry? Are people pulling away from you?

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    • Aggressive, angry... same thing

    • What worked for me was to figure out who I was really angry with. Then mourning the loss of that relationship. For me it was an unsupportive parent. Physically there but emotionally absent.

  • You need an alpha in your life.

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  • Phew! Young and wild 😘
    Turn around and lemme pin down this wild BEAST with this HAWT bod 👙

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  • You shouldn't change who you are :)

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    • Ok that sounded bad, but what I mean is if it's your kind of personality no need to change it ^^

  • Punch pillows. That helps.

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  • Are you 😶?

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  • you need to be dominated in bed

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  • Come at me bro, you can't hurt me so...

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What Girls Said 10

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