Am I depressed?

Im constantly thinking about how life doesent matter, there is no point because we are all going to die. I can't remember the last time i was truly happy. I'm constantly feel like im alone even though im surrounded by people, i have been self harming although i am 6 days clean. I am constantly thinking in the back of my head: you're fat, they hate you, you're not funny, everyone hates you. I don't even want to leave the house. The few people in the world who i want to spend time with, ignore me. I have multiple crushes, a guy who is a year younger than me ( im 15 ) who im friends with, a guy who is 2 years older than me who i am also friends with, my best friend who i think is straight ( im pansexual) but this one other guy who gives me a small panic attack when i see him, i really have a big crush on him and i have come close to telling him so many times but then i start having thoughts that he hates me, im ugly and i back down. I know the only way to make me happy again is to have someone to love since im so lonely... but noone loves me as far as i know and i don't have the guts to find out.

Updates:
i just want to hide, i have asked my dad if i can go see a therapist and he says he will try sometime next week. i just want to hide from people, i fucking hate everyone and i honestly wan't to die

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Before i found Christ life had no meaning for me either. humans aret designed to live without a meaning.

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    • fuck your 'god'

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    • i'm not better than you. i'm not remotely close. i'm the worst sinner on planet earth. i half way killed myself and egotistically deprived all my loved ones from my presense. there is nothing good in me. but there is good in the One that i trust. i respect your anger and frustration. i've been through the same stuff so no judgement from me. be well and have hope. a fight lost is a fight that was never fought. and life is a struggle. but has beauty as well. bye friend.

    • please shut up. if you and your 'god' truly love me you would piss off already

Most Helpful Girl

  • Love comes from within. After suffering from depression from many years, I've learned that seeking approval from anywhere else only leads to more heartbreak. You've got to find your inner strength and resilience in order to move on from difficult situations. If not, everything will break you down. It's okay to be sad, it's okay to cry, but after a point, you've got to realize if that's who you really want to be. Therapy and counseling helped me immensely after realizing I couldn't stand on my own. I needed help from others before I was able to understand my true worth. Depression is not easy to overcome, but it is possible as long as you believe in yourself. And remember, there are some things, even if they are deep down, that are never worth sacrificing. It may take awhile, but once you find true inner peace, love, and happiness, nobody can take that part away from you. Also... at this age most boys are stupid and don't even know what they want, so don't overthink their behavior too much.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah, but.. depression is completely normal at your age. Just make sure you learn how to manage it. We're all going to make it!

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  • Considering you are still a minor I wouldn't worry about it. We all go through stages. Make sure not to isolate yourself.

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    • i have been feeling like this for 5 months now, i just want to tell him how i feel, i just never feel like i am good enough for him.

    • Well you can start by getting a positive attitude. I doubt many guys are attracted to girls who are depressed and emotionally withdrawn. Smiling and laughter is your best weapon.

What Girls Said 2

  • i wouldn't say you are depreesed its more that your scared and going through a phase. sometimes its better to take risks because you have a 50/ 50 chance of something great happening. if you dont take the risk then you could be missing the oppertunity that u have been needing all this time. it may not happen this week or this month its gonna take time for you to be ok with who you are and realize that there is no one else like you which is a good thing because if we were all the same life would be boring. but it will take time but i would say go for it n if he doesn't like you then thats to bad for him

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  • When I was your age, it was difficult. You're finding yourself, and it won't be like this forever, I promise.
    But see your GP, as these thoughts, short or long term, are unhealthy and you do not want them to develop into something which may not leave you for years to come. There are phone lines and support groups, and if you are close to your parents, you may be surprised at how understanding they can be, as they have probably been through it themselves, or at least know somebody that has. Please stay positive, life has its up and downs, and so does every other person on this planet.

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