Got owned in a fight in front of my girl. Should I talk about it?

This guy was hitting on my girlfriend and I asked him to leave her alone and he persisted and started harassing us..
So short of leaving, he kind of forced us in to an altercation which ended up with his much bigger friend getting involved and physical.
It wasn't much of a fight before he grabbed me by the throat and pushed me against a wall and lifted me off the ground. He was too close to me to knee or kick.
I tried hitting him in the face a couple of times but it was difficult because he was squeezing my throat and I couldn't breathe.
It wasn't long before I passed out.
I woke up sitting on the ground leaning against a wall with people around me telling me everything is okay I passed out, drink this water.
Anyway my girlfriend saw this guy man handle me. I feel very weird, like I can't protect her and I've let her down as a man.
I feel a little awkward towards her now that she's seen that.
Should I talk to her about it or move on? I don't know what to do.

Updates:
So someone filmed the whole thing on a phone.
My face is seen in the video. :(
Someone posted it and # my name to it on facebook.
Sometimes technology really screws us.
Friday night I got dumped. Basically it came down to she's scared that I can't protect her. Wow!

I wanted to say, Why didn't you go get a bouncer's attention? Why didn't you run for safety? No, instead you thought it was beneficial to stand and watch your boyfriend get man handled at the mercy of this other guy. BITCH!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You tried to protect her. And even though you failed, you still tried! And that will get noticed in the long run. The guy was much bigger and in my opinion nothing but a loser. He knowingly hit on a taken woman with her boyfriend right there. That's pathetic. If you feel ashamed about it, talk to her. It will take some weight off your shoulders. But if I was in you and your girlfriends position with my boyfriend I would expect it to be brought up.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tactical response:
    Bring your hands up in the center (see Wing Chun), between his arms, grab his face and push your thumbs into his eyes. You will be dropped; don't let go. Start walking forward. End of fight.

    Seriously, start taking kung fu. It will change you in so, so, many ways. Study both northern and southern styles -- they compliment each other well.

    You will never have spent money better.

    That being said, your girlfriend was probably both impressed and disappointed. Just apologize for being unable to protect her, and she will understand your shame, and it will put her in the position of consoling you -- that is if she isn't about to leave you.

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What Girls Said 10

  • What did she tell u? It wasn't a fair fight, the guy called in his "bigger friend "... plus I wouldn't feel like u can't protect someone, especially if you aren't into fighting. I'd be ok with that. If he was trying to do more than hit on her, and she was scared, I'd say u should tell her to get outta there.

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    • What do you mean what did she tell me?
      The only thing she really said that I didn't know was that he held me up for awhile after I passed out and then let me down and walked away.

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    • During the whole thing, I have no idea. I was busy with something else.
      Afterwards it was the concerned look of, I thought you were going to die.

    • Well then, now u know she cares for u, so it shouldn't be that bad talkin bout it:)

  • Talk about it, then move on. But don't KEEP talking about it. She isn't likely to think less of you; you were clearly outnumbered.

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    • About the video... Technology can be a savior. You now have proof that the guys manhandled you after you asked them to stop harassing your girlfriend. Go after them.

  • hmm... if it really bothers you talk it out with her... but i'm sure she understands that you couldnt really do anything against a much bigger guy.

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  • -pat on the back- move on bud. you did what you can.

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  • 😂😂😂😂😂🙈🙈 I'm embarrassed for you. But yea talk to her.

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  • If she asked you talk about it and tell her u feel ashamed if she loves u it wouldn't bother her.

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  • i think you will feel better if you talk about it judging from how much it's bothering you if you don't you'll think she's doing things because you got beat up and then it will lead to a bigger messier fight then when it started

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  • Their is nobody on Earth that is capable of handling every situation. You proved you would stand up for her and if she was getting attacked you could at least give her a chance to run away.

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    • Well thanks. :D

    • Remember there is more than one way to look at this.

  • Just talk to her to get it out of the way. Im sorry that happened to you. Sounds beyond embarrassing.

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    • It was. He could have done whatever he wanted to me. :\

  • Whether this guy was bigger or not, he's a damn fool and a coward for needing the involvement of his much bigger friend to finish this fight. Granted, yes, you did get owned by this guy, he's still considered a pathetic coward who feels the need 1) hit on/harass a woman (especially one who is already taken), and 2) pick a fight when you/the boyfriend does the right thing by the woman.

    To address your question, I don't think you should talk about it or bring it up unless your girlfriend brings it up. I say move on. Besides, whether you were "owned" or not, you clearly came to the defense of your girlfriend, and I'm sure she appreciates you just by that alone.

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    • I say owned because that's what he basically did. When I felt the power of his grip on my neck and how effortlessly he took my feet off the ground, I knew I was toast and scared for my life.
      My girlfriend said after I went out my hands went to my sides and he continued to hold me up for a long time (10-15 secs) before he let me down.

    • It's not anything you could have done. He's still a pathetic loser. You are not... you defended your girlfriend, despite the guy being bigger and stronger than you. I would respect and appreciate my boyfriend for doing that because it shows he cares about me, cares about my well-being, even cares about my safety. So what if you got "owned", it's done and over with. I'm assuming your girlfriend is still your girlfriend, right? If so, there's nothing to worry about, and nothing more you need to bring up or discuss with her, unless she brings it up.

What Guys Said 9

  • Don't try to pull the alpha male card with someone who's bigger... you simply walk away and ignore.

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    • I wasn't though. He touched me first.

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    • @cankles
      So you would have been more okay with this, than the guy ignoring and walking away?

    • @cankles

  • Sorry dude. It is hard when this happens, dont worry you are a real men.
    She knows that you got fucked because you tried to protect her.
    I thick you should not mention it. Just if she talks about it.

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  • Don't get yourself into a fight you don't think you can win. They usually have friends more than willing to help so you should have seen that coming. I would have taken the less aggressive approach of grabbing her and taking her to the other side of the bar rather than confronting him directly, which probably would have diffused the whole thing.

    Though I always think ahead about these things so if it did kick off the big guy would have been immediately tasered leaving me just to deal with the little guy, much better odds. Yes I carry a taser always.

    As for bringing it up, I wouldn't. It was an episode demonstrating how you mishandled a fairly simple situation and how you allowed it to quickly get out of control. You really want to remind her of that?

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    • He started the fight though.

    • @Asker You escalated the situation rather than diffusing it.

    • I went to walk away and I got grabbed by the throat. I don't know how I could have controlled it differently.

  • You should learn from your mistake, get into an 80's training montage, track down the dude who beat you up and have a rematch.

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  • Don't worry about it, your girlfriend will admire you for standing your ground. What they can't abide is guys who wimp out and run away. No need to talk a out anything, just continue to enjoy your perfect life.

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  • move on, because from my point of view it would get quite awkward and i dont think any of you want to talk about it.

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  • Where is the video?

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    • YOUTUBE OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!

    • You just want to see a fight.
      I'm not posting it anywhere. I don't need it spreading anymore.

  • Next time someone grips you by the neck do what Danny does at 0:45
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG0eLIViPDk

    It's an actual move and it is effective.

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    • I'll keep it in mind.

  • Dude. You should NOT have gotten into a fight. Seriously, your girl didn't need "protecting." You getting involved is *exactly* what encouraged him to bring it as far as he did.

    Now as for talking to your girl -- that's your bruised ego talking "Waaah, waaah, I looked like a pussy in front of my girl (unending tears)..."

    STFU

    Seriously, if SHE brings it up, simply say "You know, I didn't handle the situation well and it got out of control. I've got to think about how to deal with these things better in the future." And leave it at that.

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    • Getting in a fight isn't always a choice. This sounds like a borderline case.

    • I kind of didn't have a choice. Last thing I said was to go away from us and next thing I know this guy has his hand around my neck and I'm up against the wall.

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