A Mortgage vs A Girlfriend?

i have a rather unusual life experience in that, I bought my first apartment before I had a first girlfriend.
i managed to get through teenage and early adulthood without much luck with girls.
and then at age 25 I got a bit lucky and bought my first apartment in an expensive town, which I am still living in.

but ever since I started having to pay a mortgage, which for those who have not experienced, is basically having a big chunk of your salary taken away from you. EVERY. SINGLE. MONTH.
And you KNOW this will keep happening every month for the next 15 to 20 years, right on time, every time.

and gradually, my main focus in life seem to have shifted towards paying off this damn mortgage and things like girlfriends and relationships in general just seem so unimportant and pointless compared to the main thing in my life which is paying off this house.

My psyche towards everything now is kind of like "is this going to help me pay off the mortgage or not?" or "she is really hot but she isn't going to help me pay my bills so, meh..."

I don't know, is this unhealthy?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's just balance really, doing something for yourself like buying your apartment was for you and only you. However having a girlfriend shouldn't complicate that, there should be no VS. You don't choose to fall inlove,

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Bills will ALWAYS exist. Even after you manage to pay off your mortgage, you will still always have bills to pay. So unless you have shitty taste in women, and/or you're perfectly fine with being alone for 15+ years, that "She's great but she won't help me pay the bills" mentality has to go.

    Oh, and if your main focus in life is just paying off a mortgage, that's not really a life at all. And you will regret it one day if you keep thinking that way. Are you even sure that you'd be okay with living in an expensive apartment for that many years? What if one day you want to make a change in your life and live in a house instead, or in another city? You would have wasted all that time devoting your life to paying off a mere mortgage for a home you don't even want to be in anymore, when you could have gotten a girlfriend who loves and supports you or even done things with your life that actually made you happy.

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    • well I would like to make enough money to be in a position where I can pay the mortgage effortlessly and still have enough money to enjoy life and women, but i am simply not in that place right now.

    • Well that is understandable, but the way you worded your question made it sound like you were gonna devote so many years of your life to paying off a mortgage and swear off forming relationships or doing what makes you happy.

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah, it means your mortgage is too large and you would have been better off renting. The fact it is consuming your thought means you are in an unhealthy position.

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    • lol actually my mortgage is not too large at all, it is in fact a steal, and it's actually, definitely, cheaper than renting, it's just i have been changing jobs too many times into completely different industries and i am bad at negotiating salaries, someone my age should probably be earning at least twice my salary now. So in fact, if i get a slightly better salary, my mortgage problem would disappear and become an afterthought.

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