Having a biracial kid?

Im scared, to have his baby oneday because I feel like im betraying my race, im ending it for my race. (Only because my family says so but its hard to take them serious for everything because they can be racist.) am part native im not 100 White.


Something is also telling me if I love this man and I could spend the rest of my life with him than having a biracial kid with him, it wouldn't matter, i know he would be a great father and will love right. My dad says he white but my honest opinion, he's not close to a real white man. His mom and dad aren't that white like my other grandpa. They are considered native.
Professional opinion or I will report and block quick!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the more important, more advantageous thing to focus on is what kind of father this man will make in general. Is he gentle, kind, and patient? Is he quick to anger? Does he have control over his anger? Does he value knowledge and able to fill your child's mind with random facts? Can he provide? What are his views on discipline? Does he have particular unhealthy habits that you would not want your child to pick up? Consider that future with him first then add race as a factor...

    Is this man racially illiterate, socially and/or culturally unaware, and/or completely oblivious to the set of issues brown people, especially African/African Americans, experience? Does he or does he not attempt to dismiss and invalidate instances of blatant racism in order to make himself feel comfortable? Is he open to discussing whatever race based stress you experience in life with an understanding desire to know? What is he going to say should your biracial child experience the misfortune of being racially profiled by a police officer? Is he going to automatically side with the cop even though some cops are bullies, have social disorders & mental illness which causes them to act a damn fool and subjugate others? These are legitimate things you must consider.

    If these answers are positive then I'd say you've found a gem and you should make a life partner out of him. Parents are always going to be concerned about their children's choices, even when we become adults, but at the end of the day; it's simply not their choice to make. I can understand where your parents are coming from especially if they are African American and from the South because I do think that there are quite a few white people who are inherently racially biased. That's coming from a very mixed person who sometimes looks white or Italian. I have personally observed groups of white people or heard some white person get comfortable with me and make a racist comment or joke and think nothing of it, not even realizing how incredibly offensive, inappropriate, and flat-out racist that was. Instead suggesting that I'm too "politically correct" for not being cool with their lack of empathy and tact. However if the white man you've found doesn't apply to this group of people then your parents will just have to get over their anxiety and worries with time.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Well race should not matter, you're not ending anything, all race is is grouping people by region and ancestry, were all the human race in the end.

    Seems like more of a problem with your family accepting his family. It sounds mildly racist to not accept who makes you happy on the basis of race alone. Perhaps your family has strong ties to their own culture and feels that this will disrupt traditions. Of course they should accept who you choose, it's your life and they should want what makes you happy, but it's not easy to get people to accept something when they're not willing to.

    If you want to have a family with this man and your sure that's what you want you need to let them know that they need to accept it, that it's not going to end or taint your family. Other then that you can't keep the relationship if you think it would be to much of a strain on your family. Though it would only be a problem at get togethers,

    so depends if they can learn to accept or if they can't if your willing to deal with it when the family gets together.

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    • I guess when I hear Im ending the white race of my family, it not really hurting anybody but there feelings. My white side of the family looks at me like something to be ashamed of for lusting or wanting a different race, truth is I have been attracted to every race before. They dont want me having a black child be cause of how bad there race turned out to be and how judged it is by everyone.

    • That's a pretty harsh thought don't you think, whether your kid is black or white shouldn't be an issue, and saying it's because "how bad their race turned out" is simple racist and ignorant. Links to races turning out bad are actually linked more to poverty and education level, when you take that into consideration rather than race then race doesn't imply anything, you'll have just as many white uneducated and poor that tend to have poor behavior patterns as blacks.

    • When I get on my own time away from my family I can grow and learn how to not be racist and always having racial issues bothering me everyday of my life.

  • Well if you think of it as the human race then it erases all the issues.

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  • So whats the question?

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What Girls Said 2

  • You just have to ask yourself what's more important; preserving 'your race', or being with the man you love, and having a child with him if that's what you see fit.

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  • Get rid of the thought.

    You are not betraying your race.

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