I have a bad habit of killing my self-image almost everytime I see a girl. I immediately start comparing myself: Noticing how petite she is, her perfect hair, perfect figure, and perfect face vs. Broad shoulders, tall, decent face, average figure, and puffy hair. I can't keep myself from comparing myself to other girls over things I have no control over. How do I stop?
Most Helpful Guy
I used to be the same way, comparing myself to other people all the time. What helped me is understanding, #1, that it's a waste of time. Better to just spend time focusing on being the best you can be. Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't get you anywhere.
#2, remember that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Just because someone appears to be more attractive than you, doesn't mean they're as fun, or as confident, or funny, or anything else that you might be really good at.
For example, I workout a lot and am in pretty good shape, but there are a lot of guys at the gym that are bigger than I am. I used to feel down on myself about it and thought I wasn't good enough, but then one day I ran into a couple from the gym at the store. He was probably twice my size, almost the size of a professional wrestler. I was a little intimidated at first, but I decided to go over and say hi and found that he couldn't even look my in the eye. He also wasn't very confident and was letting his wife/gf lead him around. I even tried to compliment him because I wasn't trying to make him look bad in front of his wife/gf, but he rejected the compliment and put himself down. That guy was doing great in the gym, but once you look past the surface he has a lot of struggles in other areas of his life.
You simply never know what struggles someone else has, so don't feel bad if they have something they do better than you. Focus on your strengths, improve your weaknesses, and before you know it you'll find that people like you just the way you are and that you have a lot to offer as a friend, girlfriend, wife, etc.0
Most Helpful Girl
Learn to embrace all the things that make you, you. I think we tend to judge ourselves extra harshly, so your perceived flaws are probably not even a big deal. Once you embrace them and become positive and content with yourself, you'll likely become more approachable and happy.
Going to the gym (or just exercising in general) helps a lot, mentally. It allows your brain to release those happy hormones (endorphins), and can make you feel more confident and content.
Reading is a fun escape from reality. Finding a book you really click with would help distract you from paying attention to other girls. Also, a lot can be learned from books.
If it makes you feel any better, confidence tends to get better and better as you get older.0