So when my boyfriend and I first started dating he said "oh I'd fuck her" (talking about his old babysitter) but later said he was joking. I don't know how it got brought up about 7 months later but I brought it up again. He said "if I was single, I would" and I said "do you want to be" he said "no, I'm pretty happy where I am" and I was like "would you still now?" And he said "if I was single or if I was with you?" And I said "both". He replied with "no"(about if he would fuck her). Should I still feel upset about this? I know he said he would if he was single but he did say no straight up when I asked if he would either way. I know that he wouldn't lie to me and that if he wanted someone else, he wouldn't be with me. I feel like he was joking. Would you guys be upset about this? I'm just a really sensitive person. I need opinions.
- Yes, I'd be upset.Vote A
- No, you're overreacting. It's stupid.Vote B
Most Helpful Guy
I think you're overreacting and I find this behavior really annoying in girls (you're by far not the only woman who is like this). Unfortunately, most girls (and also a lot of guys) just can't take the truth. I really wonder how all these couples in the world do this cuz I'm lucky to have a girlfriend with who I can be completely honest, which I'm extremely glad about. So many women love to ask their boyfriends or husbands pseudo-questions. By "pseudo-questions" I mean questions that are not really questions because you're not actually interested in hearing a truthful answer. It's like the stereotypical "do I look nice in this dress?" question. Girls would repeatedly stress how they want to hear the truth and nothing but the truth but if you actually give them the truth, they either break out in tears or start an endless fight over it. I was once asked this question by a female friend and - being a naive teenager at the time - answered it completely truthfully (I told her I thought the dress was a really bad choice and made her look very bad). However, upon hearing my opinion that was certainly not meant as an insult, she totally freaked out on me and subsequently quit talking to me for about a month. I mean... what the hell? This is probably the thing that annoys me most about women. They're like tour guides in North Korea "Please tell me, how do you like our country? Please, please, be honest! We appreciate your honest opinion! ... What do you mean? Poverty? Death camps? ARE YOU SERIOUS? HOW CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS? WHAT AN INSULT! DO YOU WANT TO DIE?"
Like, had your boyfriend said "yeah, I know I can't but I would still like to fuck her now", you'd probably gone into extra-crazy drama mode. I'm a pretty feminine guy myself, certainly no macho-type of guy but this particular female behavior is so silly and childish. If you know you can't take the truth, please just don't ask for it. Only ask if you're 100% certain that you'll be fine whatever the answer might be.
If we talk about another girl and my girlfriend asks me if I would want to have sex with her and that is indeed the case, I admit to it and my girlfriend is fine with it. The reason she's fine with it is because she understands the nature of sexuality. Monogamy is not a natural thing, it was culturally trained. You might suppress it successfully but you're still not meant to live like this. It's natural to feel drawn to several people at the same time. This DOESN'T mean you have to act2
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