I ask this because I have some people in my life, that I care a lot about and are important to me and so I like talking to them. They are people I met online but have known years. They say they care about me and stuff but we always have the say coversation about not talking enough. I completely understand people have lives and are busy but if someone matters (no what matter where you meet them), you would think you'd make time for them and talk to them. So, sometimes I feel that clearly their heart isn't into to talking me and maybe they don't feel the way they say they feel or we'd be talking and this would never be a problem.
So, do you feel if you really wanted to talk to someone that you would do it and if you didn't, then you wouldn't? What do you think?
Most Helpful Guy
I generally agree with you but like @EmpatheticLady pointed out, the timing can be a problem. Also, sometimes I'm just so absorbed with other things that I can't possibly find any time to talk to or hang out with my best friends. For example I study at university and sometimes I am super busy researching and writing papers and even though I really want to talk to my friends, I just can't. I think what's more important is that you show your close friends that they matter to you by giving them some kind of rough date. For example I would say to my best friend "I'm sorry but this month is really crazy for me... I would really love to meet you but I just can't. I have deadlines that I absolutely must meet and meeting you... it's simply impossible at the moment. I'm very sorry. HOWEVER, I do have more time again next month! Starting from the second week of the next month I have some time to see you and talk to you again. I hope that works for you!" My best friend does the same thing to me. He works in a job where he has very irregular work shifts. Sometimes he works 9-5 like most people but on some days he has to work during the night instead. Sometimes he has 4 or even 5 free days in a row and sometimes he doesn't get any free day for two and a half weeks in a row (not even weekends). Also, he only finds out what his work shifts will be spontaneously. So sometimes when I have a lot of free time (during semester breaks for example) he has to work hard in his job. In these cases, he would also tell me that he doesn't have time at the moment but that it will become better again in 2 or 3 weeks. This usually helps a lot to not feel abandoned or unloved.1
Most Helpful Girl
Basically, yes, if I want to talk to someone, I'll make the time to do so. However, the timing may not be exactly when I or the other person would like because of other things going on in our lives. I may be working hard on something while the other person has more downtime or vice versa for example.0