What're your thoughts of befriending an ex boyfriend or girlfriend?

Have any of you befriended an ex? How long after the breakup did you be friends? How did it turn out?

Personally, I've tried to be friends. I just can't do it even after being broken up for 8 months. I love her too much to see her dating another guy. Sometimes you have to make people you love nonexistent in your life, right? I've just been having trouble... ๐Ÿ˜’

Please explain your opinions... They may end up guiding me a certain way!

  • I think being friends is okay
    31% (5)50% (4)38% (9)Vote
  • I think being friends is NOT okay
    56% (9)25% (2)46% (11)Vote
  • Other
    13% (2)25% (2)16% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There's no animosity between my ex and I. I wouldn't say we're bestest best friends but we don't ice each other out either. We run in the same group of friends still but following the transition from HS to college we lost touch. I still see him when my friends get together during the holidays and summer though.

    I don't see an issue with being friends with an ex.

    Our relationship ended rather abruptly and very poorly. There was bad blood between us for a bit but not as long as some seem to think there should have been.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am friends with my most important ex-girlfriend (by "important" I mean the one I was by far the longest together with) and it's pretty fine. But you have to understand that reviving the friendship takes time. It was my ex-grilfriend who broke up with me and when it all happened, I was the most miserable person on the planet. She was my first real girlfriend and well... "The first cut is the deepest" as Cat Stevens would say. It took me a very long time (around 3 years) to completely get over her and it was definitely not easy because she soon found a new boyfriend while I ended up being involuntarily single for almost 5 years. However, this has all happened long time ago and you know how they say... time usually heals most wounds. I was 16 when my ex-grilfriend broke up with me and now I'm 27, so 11 years have past. Now that I'm older, calmer and maybe also a bit wiser, I can look at things a little differently. When I found out that my ex-girlfriend found a new boyfriend, I almost died of jealousy. I wanted to choke him ;-). Nowadays I look at them (they're still together) and I think "Yes, it was good she found him." I can admit without any grudge that he fits much better to her than I ever did. In fact, I'm even glad nowadays that she found herself a different guy. Back when we were teenagers, I was head over heels in love with her but people change over time and nowadays, I certainly wouldn't fall in love with her anymore. I like her as a distant friend. I still find her a very sweet and funny person but she's the type of friend that you want to see once a year and when you go home you say to yourself: "this was fun but now I'm fine not seeing her again for a year". Also, I have a new girlfriend now myself and I'm much happier with her than I have ever been with my previous girlfriends. So there's no need for me to have any grudges. It all worked out just fine for me. And I'm not mad or frustrated about some of the bad things that happened to me in previous relationships (for example one ex-girlfriend cheated on me). I'm somebody who believes that in some way, everything that happens to you helps you get stronger, smarter, better and happier in life. You might not realize it right away but 5 or 10 years down the road you look back and you think "actually, it all turned out to be just fine" :-).

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What Girls Said 7

  • I personally think its not right for me to be friends with an ex, because no matter what you won't look at them as a friend, if you've engaged in sex or anything amongst those lines, you won't be able to look at them as a friend it's just simply impossible to me, it's like "i saw you naked, I made you cum, I fell inlove" and to be friends is pointless to me. I tried this and we ended up being friends with benefits and then I got hurt in the end.

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  • no no no no no. this didn't work with me. i tried it, i swear i did, but it was just way too weird. it'll never be the same.

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    • True. I wish I knew that it would never be the same after wanting her as a girlfriend. I didn't know things would change so much after the fact.

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    • It's odd... My ex can be friends with me, but I can't do the same. She also doesn't understand why I don't talk to her much and why I unfriended her on social media.. Even though she dumped me and broke my heart. Maybe she's just not right in the head 😶 Lol

    • aw :( well she should really understand just how hard it is to be on the receiving end. i personally don't have experience being the dumped person, but I'm completely aware that people need their space once it's over.

  • Ahhh oh mannn -gets overwhelmed-
    I befriended an ex right after a break up (wow not good for me)
    we ended up acting like we were still together but without all the lovey dovey stuff. It was difficult. Then slowly we became more distant, and he'd try to post pictures of him being around other girls to make me jealous. decided I couldn't do this "friend" thing anymore

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  • I personally wouldn't wanna stay friends with an ex. Don't see the point.

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    • What about the fact that you two knew eachother like a book and other stuff like that? Would it make a difference if you and an ex were friends beforehand?

  • I think being friends is okay as long as u know ur limits.

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  • Make them non exist

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  • I personally think it's kind of like saying "Your dog died but you can still keep it." I think there's usually a good reason the relationship didn't work out and even if you broke up amicably, there's not really any reason to be friends.

    I think severing contact makes it easier to move on and why bother staying friends with an ex if you're going to try pursuing new people?

    The only reason I could maybe see it working out is if you were already friends to begin with and maybe you were just too platonic to date. Just my ยข2 though. I wouldn't speak to a prior flame if someone paid me.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm still friends with my ex girlfriend even though she cheated on me

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    • How can you deal with that man? How can you deal with seeing her with other guys?

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    • Ah okay, see, my ex is in a relationship, I still love her, and I'm still hurt. I just don't see a friendship in my situation. It's tough..

    • Yeah I bet I know it'll be hard if my ex gets in a relationship cuz I still love her too

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