Have any of you befriended an ex? How long after the breakup did you be friends? How did it turn out?
Personally, I've tried to be friends. I just can't do it even after being broken up for 8 months. I love her too much to see her dating another guy. Sometimes you have to make people you love nonexistent in your life, right? I've just been having trouble... 😒
Please explain your opinions... They may end up guiding me a certain way!
- I think being friends is okayVote A
- I think being friends is NOT okayVote B
- OtherVote C
Most Helpful Girl
There's no animosity between my ex and I. I wouldn't say we're bestest best friends but we don't ice each other out either. We run in the same group of friends still but following the transition from HS to college we lost touch. I still see him when my friends get together during the holidays and summer though.
I don't see an issue with being friends with an ex.
Our relationship ended rather abruptly and very poorly. There was bad blood between us for a bit but not as long as some seem to think there should have been.1
Most Helpful Guy
I am friends with my most important ex-girlfriend (by "important" I mean the one I was by far the longest together with) and it's pretty fine. But you have to understand that reviving the friendship takes time. It was my ex-grilfriend who broke up with me and when it all happened, I was the most miserable person on the planet. She was my first real girlfriend and well... "The first cut is the deepest" as Cat Stevens would say. It took me a very long time (around 3 years) to completely get over her and it was definitely not easy because she soon found a new boyfriend while I ended up being involuntarily single for almost 5 years. However, this has all happened long time ago and you know how they say... time usually heals most wounds. I was 16 when my ex-grilfriend broke up with me and now I'm 27, so 11 years have past. Now that I'm older, calmer and maybe also a bit wiser, I can look at things a little differently. When I found out that my ex-girlfriend found a new boyfriend, I almost died of jealousy. I wanted to choke him ;-). Nowadays I look at them (they're still together) and I think "Yes, it was good she found him." I can admit without any grudge that he fits much better to her than I ever did. In fact, I'm even glad nowadays that she found herself a different guy. Back when we were teenagers, I was head over heels in love with her but people change over time and nowadays, I certainly wouldn't fall in love with her anymore. I like her as a distant friend. I still find her a very sweet and funny person but she's the type of friend that you want to see once a year and when you go home you say to yourself: "this was fun but now I'm fine not seeing her again for a year". Also, I have a new girlfriend now myself and I'm much happier with her than I have ever been with my previous girlfriends. So there's no need for me to have any grudges. It all worked out just fine for me. And I'm not mad or frustrated about some of the bad things that happened to me in previous relationships (for example one ex-girlfriend cheated on me). I'm somebody who believes that in some way, everything that happens to you helps you get stronger, smarter, better and happier in life. You might not realize it right away but 5 or 10 years down the road you look back and you think "actually, it all turned out to be just fine" :-).2