Should I change my looks and personality so guys will like me?

generally I always tend to be liked by people, but very rarely have guys been romantically interested in me. I don't know if it's because of me or something else. physically speaking, I'm told that I generally look cute, but I'm afraid that 'cute' may refer to me looking very young for a 20 year old. I'm pretty short and skinny for my age, so people tend to think I'm younger than my actual age. I'm not sure if that's the reason guys aren't into me. I have natural curly hair, but once I straightened it and I think it made me look more mature, but I'm not sure.

https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t34.0-12/12312007_10208392558116086_433917453_n.jpg?oh=fc46a2181c42c5d32fb403d6bc542f78&oe=565E5987 this is how I generally look like.

and this is how I looked like with straighter hair: https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/v/t34.0-12/12305581_10208392564236239_786169120_n.jpg?oh=5f3e968f749e8c55536ecf3ea3a57391&oe=565E7E97 oh=5f3e968f749e8c55536ecf3ea3a57391&oe=565E7E97

is it just me, or does straighter hair make me appear older? Personality wise, for some reason a lot of people have the impression that I'm innocent but I don't know how I give that vibe. Like drinking wise, I don't really drink, but when it's special occasion and others are drinking, I tend to drink a bit as well but most people get surprised by that. And I've never been in a relationship, so I don't talk a lot about sex and stuff cos I don't have the experience of that. And I also tend to have a shy personality, but I always have a way of making people laugh so I think while I'm shy, at the same time I'm quircky in a way. But I don't know if those things make people dislike me romantically speaking. And people have the impression that I'm this really nice person, but the thing is I don't even know what I'm doing to give them that idea. So overall, should I change something about my looks or personality to be liked by guys?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow, you're too cute, almost perfect.

    Honestly, the problem with behaviour, is that it's largely unconscious, ie, you're not aware of how you're coming across and may be perceived. I'm thinking, if you have thoughts of inferiority or not being worthy, then you'll sort of, shut yourself off, as I say unconsciously, in order to save yourself from getting hurt. Like what would you do if a guy you fancied approached you? Would you be sufficiently open, and give the right signals, in order for him to have the implicit okay to proceed and get your number. Because if you're, internally like 'help, get me out of this situation', then the other person may perceive that as coldness or lack of interest. That's the problem with trying to protect our egos, we unconsciously affect and reject other people in the process.

    I guess the old cliche may ring true. Coming out of your comfort zone and making overtures. Cause you're plenty pretty :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hell no girl. Be yourself. You sound a lot like me, for years I felt I wasn't attractive because the guys I was around never expressed interest in my romantically. I had a lot of insecurities about myself as it sounds like you do as well, take time to figure those out before getting romantically involved with someone. Trust me its the worst to have these insecurities about yourself and attempting to be in a relationship. You'll wind up caving in on yourself. #realfeels #realtalk #speakingfromexperiance #doyou

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What Guys Said 11

  • U look beautiful
    Curls shit u a lot more then straight so I would suggest keeping them
    U don't need to change anything, just get online tinder is a fun place to find dates or u can use Okc and other services
    Dating is virtual these days so u might not have much luck irl

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  • Don't change for anyone. Always be yourself or you won't be happy. You'll meet someone who loves you for you

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    • but what if it's me that's driving guys away? what if no guy will ever be into me?

    • That's a lot of what ifs. Guys like confidence. The only way you get that is by being yourself.

  • I can't stand it when girls, or guys for that matter, act differently from how they really are. I got a few female friends and my sister who act really girly around certain people and I know that isn't who they are and it just annoys me to no end. To me its being fake and I can't stand fake people

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  • Where have you been all these days? I was in search of you! Would you like to be mommy of my upcoming childs.
    :-)

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  • Just change your sexuality. Easier.

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    • how would that make it easier? :/

    • Well you've girls who like you! Friends etc.

  • You look lovely and I think the curly hair looks best. Don't change not for other people anyway. You're gorgeous.

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  • You look better in the first pic.

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  • As far as I can see your looks and personality are fine. Maybe you just don't go to the right places to meet guys (whatever that means).

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  • I think you need not :)

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  • It's not your hair.

    You are cute.

    Looking younger than your age is a negative in your teens, a positive by 23/24.

    It's probably close to neutral now, depends on the situation.

    Don't let a lack of dating success back when it was a negative impact how you interact with people now. Things are different now.

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    • what do you mean by the last sentence?

  • Don't change who you are... change the environments you put yourself in so there's more opportunities for guys to approach you

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What Girls Said 3

  • Do not change yourself for others. I think you're very pretty, and your curly hair looks great on you! You seem nice as well. You keep being who you are. The right one will come along!

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  • No don't do it

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  • Omg you look just like Nasim Pedrad from snl it's almost creepy! (Ps curly loss very cute on you) maybe you just need to put yourself out there. I don't think it's your appearence. Maybe join a daring website or something.

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