Need texting advice to try and get a girl back without coming off as needy?


I was seeing this girl for around 3 months in a kind of friends with benefits situation.

At the start she was the one initiating most of the text conversations. She told me she doesn't like chasing and wished that I would chase her more.

So I did, I started to initate the conversations we had, eventually I ended up texting her most days, mostly just at night we'd ask how each others days had been, what we were up to etc etc

This went on for a while and we kept hooking up, and things felt like they were going really well. But on one ocassion I asked to see her and she said I need to stop being so needy, and this got me thinking I had been quite needy texting her all the time!

One night about a month ago I was drunk and I text her saying I wanted to be with her... This caused a bit of an argument on how she wasn't ready for another relationship and wasn't over her ex and it was best if we just stayed as friends. I think the fact I was coming across as needy maybe made her back off.

After this we haven't really spoke much at all. The texts have gone down to weekly, she did text me first 2 times though.

At the weekend I was out with my friends and she was with friends elsewhere. Anyway out of the blue she started snapchatting me and right before my phone died she sent me a snapchat saying "wish you were here" this made me think she does still want to see me as a friend which I also do as the chilling and the sex was great.

Anyway I am looking on advice on how to start texting her again. I have quite a bit of anxiety when it comes to texting as I think I may be disturbing her or she doesn't want to hear from me and all that.

What sort of things should I be texting her?
How often should I text her?
What time of day should I text her?
How do I not come across as needy?

Thanks for any advice!


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  • Good for you

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