I need some good, honest opinions on this chapter. Do we have any readers here?

Okay, so here is the link.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/vdswnnqkontlzqd/Chapter%204.docx?dl=0
You probably will not understand much since it takes place in the fifth book, but if you like fantasy you might enjoy a fragment of this. Any constructive feedback will work. Thank you.

Updates:
The link was wrong. Let me try again.
It's part of a series by the way.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sure, I'll read it.
    Give me some time, I'll be back ^_^

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The link worked, I just x'ed out the username password thing.

    I'm not much of an reader, but I was starting to like it.

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    • I see, well if you liked that part then I guess you'll like the other four books.
      1. The Price for Power
      2. The Eye of Genesis
      3. The Roads of Time
      4. The Dragon-Incarnate
      But yeah, thanks.

    • I'm sure, but I always loose interest in reading books. It's like I always have something else to do.

    • ... even if I don't.

What Girls Said 2

  • I was just reading it and I'm no expert but I think the periods and commas aren't in the right places.
    You should use smartthinking. com because creative writing specialist will tell you what mistakes you made

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  • U should write and post on wattpad:)

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    • I'm afraid people will steal my work or something, otherwise, I would.

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    • As for the copyright, the moment I wrote it down the work was copyrighted, but still. . . well, I don't know. I might give it a try for feedback I suppose.

    • People on there give all kinds of feedback. :)

What Guys Said 2

  • It was quite the intriguing read. I would like to see the others you speak of.

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    • I have not published them yet, but I strive to do so. The real problem is the QUERY; this is essentially life and death. If they like your letter they will accept you--if they don't then. . . well, that is where rejection throws off many writers. I got rejected once already, but that was a year ago when I was not skilled enough. But I am not giving up.

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    • Do you know any good editors, or publishers? Any contacts? Anything will do. I just need someone to at least help me on this, someone who knows what they are doing, and is able to get me into the publishing industry.

    • Hmmm…... Not really, but give me sometime. I know a few people who may be able to help.

  • send me the link and I will read it

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