The Age Old Question - Why Are There So Many Young, 20-Something Single Moms?

It seems like dating is a losing game for men these days. I always hear women saying the same thing:

-I want an educated man (college eduated)
-I want a man who has a career
-I want a man who has goals and goes after what he wants
-I want a man who dresses well, takes care of himself and treats me well

I hear that often, and I see a lot of men who can step up to the plate and can meet those demands with ease. However, it seems like in society today, women don't go after those men. I am only 25... but here is what I see quite often:

-I see women who are are 20-24 with 1-3 kids already
-They are all obviously single moms
-Some of them have new borns, but they are single -_-
-A lot of them are going to school, have jobs and their own place
-HOWEVER... when I ask them about the their baby's dad... they usually tell me the following: he had cheated, he had anger issues, he was abusive (mentally), he never really wanted a kid, he changed during the relationship... but mostly the cheating thing.

It takes 2 to tango... but why do women seem to want to have kids with these dirtbags? Do you really think a man in his early 20s wants kids?

Having a child is basically a choice today, especially with all the anti-birth products available... so why have kids so young? Why not wait until marriage? Why not wait until later in life?

Updates:
It makes it so much harder to date. When I see an attractive woman and she has a lot of good qualities... but learn she has a kid or 2, it is a turn off. I understand as I can get older, you will see more women with kids... but this early on... early 20s?
It just makes it harder to date...
...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because accidents happen, and contraceptives don't always work. I'm living proof of my parents failed condom and birth control, and there are guys who do cheat even if they're around for a few years. My parents were together for 10 years after I was born and they even got married and had my brother 4 years after me, but my dad ended up cheating on her with several different women one of whom he later married, and all of this led to my mom being a single mom. It's not like she chose to get pregnant young, but people can be a victim of a series of unfortunate circumstances.

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    • True. I agree, and you're right. I'm just a little "frazzled" because it seems like a lot of these women wanted the children and now they are mad when they can't find a decent guy.

    • While kids aren't expected by anyone it doesn't stop all mom from getting attached to someone they've been carrying for 9 months. What I find funny is the guys out there though. They often don't want kids, especially when they're young, but they want to have sex with young hot women while they can and complain when a chick doesn't want to put out, but if she does put out and is accidentally knocked up people treat her like trash. If you don't want kids early and want to have them when you're married or something, then don't go for that "test drive" just to see if you're sexually compatible because accidents can happen. Even if a guy has a vasectomy there's still a very slim chance that he can knock a woman up. A woman also has a better chance at becoming pregnant at a young age because those are usually her prime years. Nothing is completely fool proof, and people seem to forget that. I wish people would think before they act.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not an age old question. It used to be uncommon.

    What's changed?

    The biggest change is that it didn't used to be an option. Women who had kids out of wedlock 80 years ago gave them up for adoption. Now they can keep them, thanks to the web of social services that support them.

    Women are not having children earlier than they used to. They're having fewer children, and having them later.

    The teen birth rate in the U. S. wasn't that different 100 years ago. But 100 years ago, most of those teens were married.

    So the babies aren't new, the lack of fathers, and the mother keeping the baby in that scenario, is the change.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Well I can only speak for myself but as I was once a young single mother, I didn't set out to have a child with the man I did. I was immature and naive. We occasionally used protection because honestly we got too caught up to stop for a minute. Stupid I know. I think life just happens and a lot of people get caught in it.

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  • Because 20-24 are barely grown ups. They are still teenagers mentally and a lot of them have no concrete plans for their future so having 1 or 2 kids doesn't seem like a distraction. Their naivete and lack of goals is to blame...

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  • You said it yourself, dirtbags who weren't satisfied with safe protected sex, girls who trusted these men a little too much.

    Social media has made it so easy for guys to cheat. Just look at Kik.. that's a super sexting/cheating app and wipes itself clean when you log off

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    • I don't understand why women pursue those types of guys though

    • They don't show their true colors until it's too late and also these girls avoid or miss the early signs

  • shitty sex ed in schools

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What Guys Said 0

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