Someone I cared about died today... How do I learn to accept things right now?

Like I want feel better right now! I feel so much pain I can't even describe how ugly I am getting. I am shaking and mad and confused and scared! I feel like I invest my time on someone only to burn myself over. Please tell me everything will be okay! Tell me... it won't hurt anymore... or should i add that to my list of pain that I must numb out? I feel like I give my heart to the wrong people and after I worked on myself so much! Its not fair... its just not! Thats just how I feel... thanks for reading my rant questions!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sorry to hear that and i give you my condolences.

    Life is hard, we all lose people. Some sooner and some later. I never had a father nor a stepfather. I barrely have any family too. You just have to accept it because its how life is even tho it is unfair.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First off, I don't know exactly what happened, but I am sorry it happened to you.

    Unfortunately, things happen that we can't understand. It's perfectly normal to feel anger, confusion, and even extreme feelings during times like these.

    Try to channel those emotions into constructive behaviours such as crying, working out, breathing and even punching a pillow if you really need to. The worst thing you can do is to lash out at other people and create other problems for yourself. Just try to take time to deal with the right now.

    I know it seems like things are bad right now. But they will get better. Bad times pass, even if they seem their darkest right now.

    Whenever I am having a hard time with something, I vent. I vent and I write in my journal. They seem to help. I also come on here and I talk with people. A lot of my friends do not understand my life, as it's so different from theirs. But there are probably people on here who have had to deal with similar situations. If you need advice, this is the place to get it. If you even just want to talk, find people you can talk to.

    I've had terrible things happen to me this year, by people whom I loved so much. I was in an abusive relationship. Then when that relationship ended I found someone new. I thought I had found the man I had been praying for. He told me I was beautiful, that he liked me a lot and that he wanted to keep seeing me. We became official and dated for a year. He told me he wanted to live with me and that I should move closer to him. So I did. Then I found out he cheated :( I was absolutely devastated.

    What's worse is he seems to be blaming me, saying I'm the wrong doer, even though he cheated. I never did anything wrong in the relationship. I catered to him completely, from bringing him food to taking him places and paying for dates.

    Sometimes people are just absolute jerks. It's sad to hear that people do these things. But it's far too common.

    I hope that you are feeling better soon and that you can find people to lean on during these difficult times!

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What Guys Said 21

  • Making people tell you everything will be okay! Tell me... it won't hurt anymore will only temporary make it go away, what you should do is to have something physically to do when you feel that sorta way, like playing games (kill players online) watching tv etc.

    giving your heart to the wrong person, that happens to a lot of people and i am sure each and everyone out there feels the same, except the people that don't >.<.

    The best way i feel relieve is talking to someone you trust or people that you can relay on.

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  • It takes time. It just takes time. Almost everyone goes through it sometime during their life. It's part of being human. That person would want you to move on in your life and do something with it. Do it for them. The feeling can be so overwhelming at first. But it really does fade with time.

    I'm sorry for your loss. I've been through it before and I know that doesn't mean anything and doesn't really help. But I feel I should say it anyway, because I really am sorry for your loss.

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  • First of all, take a few deep breaths... this is NOT your fault!
    I'm so sorry to hear you lost a friend or relative. Unfortunately these things happen in life and what you feel now is the first step in mourning: you feel shocked that it happened.
    The other thing you said, that you're helping out people and it does not always work out... that's something that happens to all of us.
    Some people act as friends and are grateful, others screw up as quickly as you help them out :o
    If you need a chat, let me know :D

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  • My condolences...

    I have been there... one thing I always try to remember though is how much better my life was knowing that family member or friend when they were alive. It puts a smile on face just remembering them.

    Even though I will miss them wholeheartedly, I would never have passed on the chance to have them in my life, knowing their outcome.

    We all pass sooner or later, it is the memory we leave behind in the hearts of people who matter that is most important.

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  • : /

    You are feeling the worst that life can bring... the unfair side... hard to undestand... very revolting... why these shit have to happen we ask every day...

    Every friends that looses a friend, a brother, a lover, a dad, a grandfather, or even a son... Hurt us in the worst possible places, makes us confused, incapable of racionalize it.

    Things will be okay, but we need to get out our pain, crying is our best way to feel better, not hurting ourselfs or the others around. Some people writte, paint or do other things to help get all the shit we are feeling...

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  • T. I. N. A.
    There Is No Alternative but to accept it. We are born, we live, we die. It has always been so and it won't change.

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    • I am gonna use that word now!

    • Sorry, you are wrong, TINA'S bullshi*, and doesn't take into account the basic fundamental principles of mathemalogical physics.

      There are 4 physical principles to death, A, B, C, D.

      The logarithms associated with them, are very fortunate for us, when you take into account quantum mechanics.

    • @ZionOrtov Now tell us: is Schroeders's cat dead or not?

  • First of all, I'm terribly sorry, and if there's anything I, a random person on the Internet can do, please let me know.
    Take solace in the time you had with this person, our time on earth is limited, and all that you can do to share yourself with others is a blessing.
    It sounds trite, but these things take time. Even if you can't see it now, you'll be able to move past this, and recognize that it's worth caring for people.
    Remember, we don't love for ourselves, but for the PEOPLE we love.
    If I can do anything else, let me know.

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  • So you have been in that position all of your life and you spend your days and nights crying yourself to sleep... why not make a change? obviously this is not working, obviously you are sad and depressed and lonely and tired. Start with change, say you can't do school work because you can't remember, you have a hard time with education, ok focus on running or biking or hobbies. Learn to love who you are becoming as a person regardless of how you perform educationally, athletically or otherwise.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siHp8U_26ys

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  • It just serves as a reminder that we should take nothing for granted because we're all mere mortals at the end of the day and you never know when time is up

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  • I'd like to talk to you personally through the sites messaging system, we can discuss this, including death itself, perhaps I can give you some positive understanding of things.

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  • My condolences to u I never like when people are in pain... i know mental and emotional pain all too well and it can feel so overwhelming. But just try to surround yourself with friends and family... that is assuming u have a support system like that, I know many people unfortunately don't. Keeping busy and trying not to be alone too often are a couple ways I've battled against the pain of losing people close to me

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  • I'm so sorry. You're right it's not fair. You love someone and they're a part of your life and then they're gone and something's missing and it's not fair and it doesn't make sense. It will be okay one day, but it does take time. The pain won't go away completely, but it will get better. Remember what was good about them and what you loved the most about them. Talk to people you love about how you feel and try some distractions you enjoy. Your fellow GAGers are here for you. ❤🍎

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  • *hugs*

    I've had a string of people I cared about passing away lately. U just gotta move on! Distract urself! Be happy! It's what they'd want!

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  • I don't know I'm so sorry though

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  • :( get brownies and ice cream and they are in a better place so dont worry they are happier than ever right now

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  • My uncle passed 2 years ago. I still cry everyday. Sadly there is no quick fix. I'm sorry for your loss.

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  • All wounds heal with time.. this will too.. you've just got to accept it and move on.

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  • I'm so sorry, may I ask who died?

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  • My condolences.

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  • I can feel you now... and you already know what to do.

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  • People die every day it's no big deal

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What Girls Said 5

  • How can you accept things right now?
    You make yourself understand that its just how life works. S/he is in a better place. Thinking about it, crying about, threatening yourself, etc. is not going to make anything better. It's not going to fix anything.

    You'll go through the stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance eventually. Let your emotions out, but don't do anything crazy like burning yourself over. I hope you weren't being serious when you said that!

    It will get better, message me if you want :)

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  • When someone you cared for a lot, passes away, it's going to hurt a lot. I know that the past few coming weeks and months are going to be really tough, especially on top of other problems.

    Watch a lot of anime, go running, eat some delicious foods that you always wanted to try. Give your heart a break, and room to breathe.

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  • You have to grieve. You lost someone close to you, it's not ok. But one day, you'll get the strength to get over it. It's not going to happen overnight. You feel betrayed and disappointed. It happens to everyone. We all have it the hard way. But when you finally overcome this, you will be stronger. The person you lost would have wanted for you to become a better person with or without them.

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  • omg i feel so sad for you apple :(
    of course its gonna hurt if you cared but time will heal your scars

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I to have lost someone close to me just recently. I still grieve for my father he passed on over 3 years ago now. There is no quick way to get over the hurt.

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