If you don't believe in God or have negative things to say then stop reading. This is a serious question.
Now to continue...
I grew up in the church. From March of this year to May I fell in love with Jesus! I was close to him more than anything! I found myself in him! I went to a church retreat that really touched me. While I was there, for the first time ever, God spoke to me. He told me to let him love me and no matter what I do he will always love me. That opened my heart and my emotions. I started love God even more and believe strongly!
throughout these months I met a guy at church and we became good friends. Until one night in June.. He raped me while I was asleep. I literally woke up to it... After that I completely shut down when it came to Jesus and his love for me. I dont even go to church as of this moment. I miss being close to god but I am so hurt and angry that I can't open myself up like I did before. I know Jesus loves me... I don't understand why he let me get raped... That's why I shut down. I want to be the Godly woman he made me to be but I dont even know where to start... I tried therapy and I hated it... What do I do? I really need advice!
Most Helpful Guy
What are you looking for in terms of guidance? your next move, what to believe, how to think, and how to make sense of what happened?
I should be able to help you there, I can offer you the truth, and it may hurt, but it's better then lies in the long-term, feel free to make your choice.1
Most Helpful Girl
First of all, God doesn't control rapists. Hundreds of people get raped everyday including babies. Do you honestly think that God authorized them all? If you learn to bounce back from rape and become a stronger person and help people who are in a similar situation, you'll feel God's presence again. God exists where there is love and goodness. God created people to support and help one another. Not to just go to church and sing hyms. Once you learn to stop blaming God for what an asshole did, you'll become close to him again.3