What do you do when a guy tries to alpha up on you at a bar?

Went to a bar with a friend. This drunk ass old dude comes up starts screaming nonsense puts his arm around me I push him off. He backed off. Then he comes up and starts saying he loves pajamas. I was wearing black joggers lol. He was trying to mock me. I told him he's a fucking dumbass and an old trashy fuck. His friend wouldn't look directly at me but he was saying That's not a good attitude to have man.. Then a little after that. Stared at me. I just got my friend and said lets go to another bar. I've always gotten down in my past.. was a great high school wrestler and I'm sure I could of handled my self with these unathletic dad bods but I just avoid this stupid shit at all cost. The last time it happened I ended up getting my nose slightly deviated and now I can't breathe out of my right nostril. Need surgery. What do you guys do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "Alpha up on you" lol, cute way of phrasing it.

    Speaking as someone who comes from a family full of alpha males, the best thing to do is to have an extremely confident attitude where you portray yourself as careless and indifferent towards what they have to say. If you're interacting them then be a smart azz with a smile and make witty retorts that humble them. However, when you are at a bar or a club it's important to avoid physical confrontation because nothing is worse ruining your record. We are adults and we will be held accountable for all that we do. Depending on the area you are and whether it's the weekend, cops will be lurking waiting for someone to act up so they can make an arrest *for-profit policing system*.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dad bods man, lol when will they learn?

    You should have blown his head off with a shotgun to assert dominance lol

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What Girls Said 5

  • Pushing him off was the right thing to do. I personally would have told him "I don't want any trouble" to avoid fighting at all costs.

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    • I don't think my ego would allow me to say that to be honest. I just walked out saying nothing.

    • You avoided trouble before it could escalate, which is good.

  • hahah! I loved to see this! hahaha!

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  • Roll my eyes and turn back to my friends.

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  • Pushing him off and leaving to another place was a good idea. I would like a guy that thought like that. I don't like people who have to automatically start violence when there is another option.

    If a guy tried to "alpha up on me" as you put it, I would have left, too. It's not a good look.

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  • You did do the right thing. I don't agree with just being a pussy and backing down, but that's only in real situations when it's somebody really REALLY taking the piss or when it's unavoidable. This situation was one that was easily dealt with and didn't have to lead to anything more, so you did the right thing. Sometimes, as annoying as it is, part of growing up is learning when to walk away and when to bang somebody in their jaw.

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    • I mean I don't think I was being a pussy just by walking out. Things would of most likely escalated inside because I know myself and I don't have a filter.

    • Na you weren't being a pussy. He wasn't overly trying to threaten you or belittle you, he was just acting dumb.
      Like as a guy, this kinda thing is always gonna happen, guys just do dumb shit to each other, but not all situations need to lead to anything more. In fact most can probably be dealt with by just walking away or having a stern word. Only school kids fight over every little thing, men (and women) know when to walk away and when to defend themselves. This one was definitely one to walk away from.

What Guys Said 10

  • Try to let them off easy, as to not have them embarrass themselves by questioning my superior existence.. Real talk though, he wasn't being "alpha" by mocking you, he were afraid of you being better, and as such attempted to put you down.. it's natural human behavior, what you did was much more "alpha".

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  • Well this drunk once came up to me asking why was I starring or something. Since I was sitting I thought it was best to stand up and luckily I was a full head taller than the guy. I didn't get a raise out of him, instead I calmly told the guy to calm down. Either he actually calmed down or he realized he didn't want trouble so he rather randomly asked me if I had any spare smokes to which I simply said "sorry nope" and sat back down. He went off.
    I'd say it ended rather well.

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  • I study martial arts, and most guys don't do that with me, and those that do, I usually just step up and say something like "dude, you don't want to do this. But if you need to let's just step outside for a moment"

    I usually get into a fight every two years, yes I've lost some, but that's the way it is. I just realized that win loose or draw you still end up feeling like shit the next day. It's usually just not worth it, good for you for walking away.

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    • Yeah man like I said I was a CA state champ wrestler dude. If someone hits the deck it's game over. Forgot to mention I carry a gun on my all the time though. So what happens if I hit the deck and and it falls out. Not a good idea man.

    • That ends up with a night in jail, and just not worth it. Drunk and stupid are a toxic combination.

  • You did what was best dude. If you can avoid the conflict it's always best especially with drunks.

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  • In both BJJ and Taekwondo you learn to fuck off as the best option. Muay thai simply says kick the fucker into next tomorrow

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  • Take the comedy route. Be witty, act like the situation is funny and make some jokes. Act like you're not bothered. That usually makes them bored/gets on their nerves from my experience.

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  • I probably would of killed him lol

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    • Lol. I carry a gun on me all the time to so that's why avoid it at all costs.. Not a good move if I hit the deck and it falls out.

    • Lol I carry too! I wouldn't used it at a bar. Not legal here. Just my hands lol

  • Fuck him right there

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  • Mock him back make fun of him to his face he's obviously drunk hell probably laugh right along with you lol

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