My mom say I am lazy?

Yes, I am 25 years old and I live whit my mom after choosing the wrong carrier. I am still studying and planning to find a part time job now. As far as I know I help whit the dishes, the yard, I do many things to keep the house clean and she stills say I am lazy. I like to help at home but I can't even do things according to my schedule, she always end up telling me do this, do that, most of the time I do it but Is not like I don't want to do it, It's just that I would like to do it according to my time not when she feels is the time.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds sort of like me! i never worked ever! My mom calls me lazy! I am up to here! I just want get an associate degree and move out!


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What Girls Said 2

  • I am not sure if this will help you any but what you are describing is very classic of a conflict between a perceiving (P) type personality and a judging (J) type personality. Each type has theor own wayof organising their life: P type create a list of tasks to be done (in their mind or on paper) and then prioritise the tasks and will happily shift what they consider low priority tasks to another day. J type create a list of tasks and then schedule a time when that task has to be completed. P type get stressed when they are forced to do what they see as a lower priority before doing higher priority. J type get stressed when tasks are not completed in the allocated time. P types find J type too rigid becasue is new tasks come along P type will happily lower the priority of other tasks if the new task is more important but J type stress out with a new task at which point, from my experience, will try to delegate the task to someone else. Sometimes the delegation happens when they expect the task to be done - eg would you do this for me right now because I have decided in my schedule that it has to be done now and I can't do it so you have to. J type finds P type flakey (or lazy) because P type will not stick to the schedule. Neither way is wrong, just different, but as humans we typically view our way as the right way and other ways as the wrong way. The best way to solve this is firstly if both of you understand the different personality types, agree to work together, and work out a way that your mother can feel like her schedule is being met while you can have the flexibility to change the schedule. If that cannot be agreed (which I did not achieve with my ex who was J and I am P because he was too busy being angry that I had psychoanalysed his personality) then you can make it easier by telling her when you will do a task for her and if you need to change when then you go and tell her beforehand that you can no longer do it at that time but tell her a new time. For example "would you cut the grass?", "I can't do it right now but I will do it tomorrow afternoon at 3pm"... the next day you discover you need to do something else so go to your mother before 3pm and say "I know I sid I would cut tye grass. at 3pm but I can't do it now because I have a doctors appointment (or whatever it is) but I will do it tomorrow morning at 9am".

  • It could be because you have no job I'm assuming.

    • I assume that to. How am I suppose to get a job when most of population here is unemployed, I can't even find a part time job. The only thing I see that can help me out is been a freelance artist, whit luck I'll win something, better than nothing.

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