Would you consider this disrespectful?

Put yourself in this situation. If you were my father, and you have raised me all my life. (My mom died when I was 1). (I am black and so are you). My father is big on black politics and all of that. You have had bad experiences with white people for a while. You were spat on, hit with a rock, teased, etcc... White men have always rubbed you the wrong way. Now, my best guy friend is white and he JUST asked me to be his girlfriend. If i said, "yes" would it be disrespectful considering your past with these groups of people?

I love my dad. He's done everything for me. He could've just left me with some random family member but he chose to care for me. I want to see what you think before I reply to him and before I talk to my dad about it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • in my opinion your father doesn't get to pick your partners. But your white guy friend is going to have to win him over by showing that he can be happy and comfortable and respectful around your father and the rest of your family.

    Be sure to tell your dad what you wrote in the second paragraph, and ask your friend if he can really do what he needs to do. If he's serious about you, he needs to think about whether he's ready to raise mixed-race children.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it would be disrespectful. In the same sense that not all black people are thugs, not all white people are racist assholes - your best friend's not, right? If you like him and see true potential in him, then I think you owe it to yourself to continue things and see how they go.

    Hopefully your father would warm up to it after getting to know the guy and seeing how he treats you.

    by the way, I'm really sorry to hear about the blatant racism you've experienced. :/ No one deserves that.

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What Guys Said 4

  • You are your own person. He has his prejudices (not discussing why he has them). But they are his. Not yours.

    If he can't accept that, that is his problem, not yours.

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  • Native Alaskans did all that to me.
    Would I care if my child dated a Yu'pik or an Aleut?
    No.
    That's because race doesn't define anyone.

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  • Everything deserves a chance

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  • That's VERY disrespectful. Considering how these cacs treated your father and you just go back around and date them. I would put your ass out if I was him. Just being honest. I wish my daughter would bring home a CAC.

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What Girls Said 4

  • If these group of people treated my father this way, I'd have a hard time associating myself with them. If you really like him, go for it. I think you should talk to your father and let the guy talk to him too.

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  • I definitely see how you are a little stuck. I think maybe you should at it like his, not every white person/guy is bad you kno? Some are of course but not all! I say talk to your dad first because you respect him. You need to go with your gut feeling on this! Hope I helped

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  • No it wouldn't be. It's your fathers personal experience, not yours. Plus he's your best friend.

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  • You shouldn't judge someone by their skin color. If you like him and he treats you well then does it really matter what he is?

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