My 4 year old child's behaviour is so bad constant swearing and hitting me?

My four year old sons behaviour is so bad. He tells me to Fxxk off calls me a cxxt everyday , hits me for coughing I'm not allowed to cough and demands sweets and if he don't get them all hell is let loose. He does not listen to a word I say and hits me. What good ways is there to stop this behaviour as it is starting to get out of hand. I am a good mum. But I find this is getting out of hand now. Has anyone else had this problem?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "if he doesn´t get them all hell is loose" never give him sweets when he acts that way. this is the worst thing you could ever do.

    find out what he likes and don´t give it to him if he behaves bad.

    you have to be very strickt know, cause there´s only one reason for such behavior: you fucked up big time, are not consistent and desparately need to introduce a logical reaction to what he does with raising penalty level that adapts to what he has done but also a rewar system for when he´s been a good boy.

    don´t give in. giving in one time and giving him sweets just because his tantrum gets on your nerve, will fuck up like 1000 times you´ve been strict and consistent.

    don´t let him have his way.

    also: him hitting you has to get a REALLY harsh penalty. don´t let him do this shit with you.

    i´m not saying you´re a bad parent just know that children are opportunistic. as soon as they learn how to exploit you, the will exploit the shit out of you. you can be less strict, when he starts behaving in an acceptable way but now is the time to be very strict. and remember: rewarding good behavior is really important too.

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    • getting physical is a good advice. i don´t mean hitting him. just be rough. if he hits you, don´t show love. let him feel that you didn´t like it, and roughly put him in his room. don´t allow him to come out and don´t show affection untill he´s sorry.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Where has your child heard these words? One, very inappropriate. Two, stop saying it and allowing it around your child. At four years old, your child is so much smarter than you give him credit. He sees and hears more than he lets on.

    Change your lifestyle and tell him you made some mistakes, but you will make better choices. Let him know what he is doing wrong and tell him why. When he has outbursts again, remind him of the talk y'all had and tell him you are serious about the changes.

    If you don't have the guts to spank your child, you better find some way to correct this behavior or he is going to beat you as he gets older. Time out does not work all the time.

    To be honest, I give kudos to those parent who take off their flip flop and spank their back talking child.

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What Guys Said 16

  • you have to provide negative re-enforcement. you can't let him get away with the behavior. children learn basically how to behave based on the consequences of actions. so if he does something bad there has to be some sort of punishment. timeout, revoking of privileges or something.

    if the child sees that they can do naughty things without consequence they will typically keep doing it

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  • You might need to enlist professional help at this stage. You need to nip this in the bud now before it gets any worse as he'll be doing the same stuff to classmates at school.

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  • Starting acting like a parent, grow a back bone and discipline your child, and do not waver, use the reward/punishment system that is tried and tested. When he does something wrong punish him and do not give in he will have to learn that if he does something wrong he pay's the price, you are the parent and he will listen to you period, washing his mouth out with soap, whip him ( spanking not actual whipping ), grounding him are some easy examples of that. And when he acts good and does stuff right you reward him, simple as that, he'll learn that if he doesn't want to get punished he won't do bad things and his behavior should improve if it does not then seek professional help.

    Remember you are his parent, not his friend and not his slave, so act like it.

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  • Use a punishment reward system. If he does something wrong you have to punish him. Otherwise he won't learn to not do bad things. If he does something good then reward him. Many parents have this problem because they dont show theyre child any discipline. You need to show some tough love at times so they can learn.

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  • How do you figure that you're a good mum when your kid is acting like this?

    It's simple, you tell him the consequences for his behaviour and you enforce the consequences. At first it will be a battle of wills and lousy parents give in first.

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  • women you better hit the shit out of your kid before someone hurts them for you
    cause if you won't hit them cause I promise someone else will and it will be far worse than what you do, hit your kid for ever bad thing they do a quick slap in the face will fix it trust me

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    • Using physical punishment on a child with aggression issues is more likely to invoke more violence than it is to teach them that it is wrong.

    • Show All
    • @Benk111
      hun I was hit until I was probably 12
      most of my issues have come from school not my home
      so hitting has no correlation, abusive hitting does cause issues but she's not trying to be abusive, she is correcting her child so the child doesn't cross the line when she's not around

    • Difrent children react differently to difrent forms of punishment that may work well for one child but have a negative effect on the other.

  • At first you should know where he learnt those bad manners... either from his parents or people he meets frequently... if you got to know this then amend the appropriate changes!

    Secondly punish him by NOT hitting him... e. g. You can bring him to a toy shop and him choose whatever he wants. Then tell him you won't get anything unless you stop your bad manners... so give him this opportunity cost of choosing (to give away bad manners against something he will be pleased with) and (to keep his bad conduct for nothing).
    Then he should be able to determine good or bad!
    Never swear in front of a child and monitor whatever he watches on tv or internet...

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  • simple. next time he disrespects you... take of your belt.. bend him over and go to town!!!

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  • He may have a psychological illness.
    A therapist.
    He may not and simply be an awful kid
    That case you need to come down hard.
    I've seen both of these scenarios before

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  • Send him my way I'll fix him up real good...

    XD

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  • smack him next time he does it

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  • He needs a shellacking before he's too far gone.

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  • Hahaha what a little savage! He's gonna grow up into one cool-ass motherfucker. :D

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  • Are u really a good mom? Think about this... where's the father... has he seen u fight.. is he stressed about somthing? Do u leave him with a babysitter often?

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  • I had the same issues when I was a kid it's best to get a tharipist and a physiologist to find out what's wrong and what the best solution is. That's how my mom found out I had bipolar and ADHD.

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  • is is why a man in the house is needed. I moved out of state for a job and my wife stayed behind for about four months when my son was four and a half. All of a sudden he was out of control for her, so much so that she was asked if she needed help with him in a grocey store. He wasn't like that before. Once they came to the new place in the new state, he and I had a run in and he cooled his jets. He turned around into a great kid after that. Dads are needed in the house for many reasons and this is one.

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What Girls Said 9

  • There has to be consequences for his behavior. Do NOT reward bad behavior just to avoid a tantrum. Maybe it'll suck for you in the short term, but in the long run you'll get results.

    I recommend watching a few episodes of Supernanny. The kids on that show act a lot like yours does, and her techniques will help you out.

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  • I don't know where you come from, but where I come from they "belts and switches are everything a child needs to solve bad behavior.'' Now I'm not sayin that you have to beat the hell out of him but just paddle him, you know break out the MOM in you... You can't show him that you are weak cause he's going to keep doing it. Once that you show you are in control he's gonna be an angel (hopeful el oh el)

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  • That kid needs to get spanked.

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    • Never! Don't try to change bad things with bad things... be either tactical or let it be! Spanking show a child its good to hit when something is wrong... using intelligence is much better than hands...

    • @ajmalshah Good luck parenting lmao

  • Who has he been exposed to? I feel you let him get spolit by others

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  • Where's his father? He will put his ungrateful ass in place.

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  • If you're a good mum, then you wouldn't even be in that situation.

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  • Spank him.

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  • Dies he have a dad? This is the kind of behavior I would allow spanking. That is horrible. He needs to be taught to respect women.

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  • Children are like sponges, they absorb whats around them. So either you or the childs father is a very bad role model...

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