Please help! How can I get over this anxiety?

I'm falling extremely hard for this cute brunette on my course. I feel hot-blooded around her and it's almost as if, when I'm next to her, there's this force pulling me towards her.

I do get quite jittery too, but I suspect this are the nerves/anxiety I'm trying to alleviate.

I don't know how I'm supposed to get over these impediments though...

I want to ask her out, but I only really see her when her friends are about and I simply can't ask to speak with her alone

I hope that the occasion where she's on her own will come, because then I'd be quite happy and confident to ask her out...

I've seen enough signs of interest to believe that she likes me back, but of course if she declines I'll happily move on.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Do it! have you talked to her? if not then why?

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    • Yes we have spoken several times.

      I touched her leg at one point; I don't know why, but it just happened... Some times I feel I know she likes me, others I convince myself she doesn't...

    • good luck then (:

What Guys Said 1

  • Try just a little bit, if possible, to kind of forget this idea that she's the girl of your dreams. Doing that makes the fact that she hasn't even dated you yet in reality so misaligned with your fantasies that the epic contrast there will make it terrifying. Try to remember she's just a girl, there's billions of those.

    And take it light and easy, relax. You ask her to spend more time together, no biggie, it's all in your mind that it's a big deal. If she's busy, no big deal. If she agrees, nice, but it's not winning the lottery.

    Try to make it easier by reducing the pressure. You reduce the pressure by not putting all your chips on one bet or one bold move.

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    • Say I want to invite her to go bowling... How might I say that?

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    • I was never a master of precise wording here, but if you're casual and relaxed and ask like, "Hey [insert name], I'm thinking of bowling on [insert day/time]. Want to come with me?" There's no epic line or anything needed, no need to rehearse, just keep it simple and easy. Simple message: you want a bowling partner and would like to invite her.

    • That's the direct approach and if you do it confidently, it's usually fine. Another is just kind of find some time to work up some conversation with her, and then sneak that in. That might be a smoother transition, but I don't think it makes much difference if she already knows you somewhat.

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