Paying on a date! Is my father right or wrong?

So my girl friend is the sweetest thing on earth. She doesn't ask for much at all. When we go out, usually she will split everything with me, half and half. On special occations (her bday, valentines day) I will pay for everything.
Also, for holidays, she will make me something rather then buy it. Like for example, we had our valentines day date, and she made me this personalized card, all colored with a letter on the inside. I thought it was really cute. And on Christmas, she sat and made me a dream catcher (cause she knows I get frequent bad dreams).
My father seems to think that she is cheap and trying to take my money. He says she should be paying for the entire date, and for holidays, she should be buying me things rather then making me things.
I don't agree with my dad because 1- she is splitting things with me, which makes it fair. 2- I think it takes more effort, and thought to sit and spend time making something then to just go out and buy it.
What do you all think? Is my girlfriend a cheap goldigger or is she totally the opposite?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it depends on what type of person you are. are you materialistic? Well you want hee to buy something because to you that measures her affection. If you aren't materialistic you will prefer homemade or DIY things because it's personalized and she took time out to make it and but materials she didn't just walk into the store grab something and paid the guy or girl at the register. I prefer DIY gifts wether Iys cooking me dinner, drawing a picture, painting, building me something that means more to me that a dress thousands of other women have as well

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    • I am most certainly not materialistic and i absolutely LOVE her DIY gifts,
      The issue isn't with me.
      Its with my parents.

    • @Dulcedulcexoxo Tried to message you but it still wouldn't let me.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with you, I would much prefer a simple gift made with care and love rather than the most expensive gift in the shop. The money side of things still pay for her birthday but on holidays split the bills along the lines of who can afford what. What I would suggest is each of you plan and pay for different dates then you have chance to suit the date to your income.

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What Girls Said 8

  • I think your dad is way off. Your girlfriend sounds very sweet, thoughtful, and generous. I think making a gift is much more special than buying one. It shouldn't be about the money. Spending a lot of money on a partner doesn't mean someone cares more.

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    • Thats how I feel too.
      Its easy to go buy a card, or a gift, but to actually sit down, take time out of her busy day to MAKE something especially for me, means she cares more.
      Honestly those gifts mean more to me then purchased ones.
      My dad maintains that if she isn't spending money, then she is a gold digger

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    • Sorry replied on the wrong comment😅

    • @Anon1997 Lol no worries :)

  • its sounds like a balanced relationship to me. ur father is just paranoid cuz there are women out there who might take advantage but this case sounds far from it. fyi, women who handmake things sometimes and pays other times and doesn't ask for much isn't gold digging at all. money = effort. not asking for much = saving money and effort.

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    • So how do I handle my father?

    • just take it in & stand up for ur girl whenever u feel like it. dont we all do that wth our parents sometimes when they lecture us? u know the truth. thats the most important thing. parents know they dont have real power over their adult children so sometimes they resort to fuckin with u emotionally. i get it, its clever. but thats all it is. words.

  • No I don't think so, she may just be the type of person who likes to make stuff instead of buy stuff, for me I would probably do both I would buy and make something

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  • I think it's really sweet that she makes you things!

    ignore him. he sounds bitter.

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  • Your girlfriends is the sweetest person alive. No she is not a cheap goldigger. She seems to care about you so much, that she'd take time out of her day to make something special for you.

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  • Your dad probably just doesn't like her for some reason. My mom thought my boyfriend was a lazy bum because he didn't fix a hole in the wall for a month in my house. Yet he works 50+ hours and drives 3-4h a day to and from work.

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    • Exactly.
      It seems like parents want their kids SO to be a slave rather then an equal partner.
      It pisses me off.

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    • It really is.

    • It's ok nevermind what your dad said look into how you truly feel. But I think his opinion is ridiculous and you are a true gentleman and by you guys both paying half is very fair. Your girl is probably more sentimental than materialistic because I have been used and been the user, and let me tell you. You would know if she was a gold digger or cheap. Cheap women don't split and gold diggers don't stick around for a very long time.

  • Totally the opposite, why would your dad ever say that. Girls that are gold diggers will never pay, they will never even make anything forget about buying. She sounds like a sweet heart.

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    • She really is.
      Sweetest girl I've ever met.
      All my friends love her.
      But my parents seem to need to find something wrong.

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    • Thank you for your time answering this question.
      Best of luck to you.

    • No worries 😊

  • If she splits costs wiyh you, I don't see the issue. Your dad is just looking out for you though. Sometimes, parents expect their kids to be treated like royalty and their girlfriend/boyfriend should let their kid walk across their back to get over a puddle and shit like that.

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    • I get that, but I don't see myself in that light.
      I am not better then anyone else.
      My parents always found at least SOMETHING wrong with every girl I dated. They couldn't find too much with this one so they started calling her cheap.

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    • We were close until I turned 20, got a job, a car, and started getting more independent and moving up in life. Then I got a girlfriend (who in every aspect meets the criteria that they wanted for me), yet he still found a desperate attempt to make her out to be a bad person.
      I tried to be close with him. I tried to mend our relationship but it seems that it's always his way or the highway.
      I have realized that I cannot live to please my parents and that no matter what I do that is good, as long as I am not living how they want, they will never be happy.
      My parents are older in age and foreign, so you can understand where they get their type of thinking from.

    • Aww, yea, he probably feels like he's losing you. And yea, i know what you mean because my parents are also older and foreign haha, my dad expects me to have some superman who doesn't exist.
      Honestly, just humor him. Let it go in one ear, out the other and don't let it get to you. You already know nothing will be good enough, so there's nothing you can do. Just say ok dad, thanks for the advice and ignore it. He's just feeling like he's losing his son, you're an adult and doing your own thing and don't need him so much anymore and it's upsetting for a lot of parents.

What Guys Said 2

  • Dad is wrong...

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    • I'm glad I got an answer from an older wiser guy.
      Thank you buddy.
      I've seen my friends date gold diggers and my girlfriend just isn't one. I don't know why he seems to think that.

  • You dad thinks she should pay for all the dates?

    He's either off his rockers or he knows something we don't.

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    • He says that she should be paying in entirety for half the date.
      Now I'm no math expert, but isn't splitting every date the equivalent of paying for half the dates? (other then holidays) he is firm on it isn't the same.
      Also, its the home made gifts that he doesn't like, he says she should spend money rather then making me something (which I like more).

    • I can kind of see where he's going in that it's that it's nice to have someone pay for you. So you both do it to each other. Like 2 friends at a bar. One gets the 1st round and the other gets the next. Mathematically equivalent but it's nicer.

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