I don't understand it.
Most Helpful Guy
Most Helpful Girl
Okay. Well, it's true that some women just fall for assholes. BUT.
Remember -- Your reality ≠ my reality ≠ someone else's reality.
YOUR "not nice", may be MY "tough love".
I am a headstrong, stubborn, passionate, sometimes even belligerent, woman who does not back down from conflict. I know myself, and I can keep myself in check -- but, I need a man I can look up to.
For a woman like me, "a man I can look up to" means a man with a strong-ass hand.
A strong hand means he's gna talk to me and treat me in ways that softer people might see as "too harsh". But, that's exactly what I need, and I know it.
My daddy's tough love kept me off the streets as a kid, and, my husband's tough love keeps my heart from wandering off in the same way.
My man never loses his shit -- he never loses control, with me -- but he is dark, and intense, and not a sunny smiley "nice" person.
A softer, more insecure girl could get ripped to shreds by him, even if he did nothing but love her.
Just like I'd rip a softer boy to shreds, without necessarily meaning to do him any harm at all. Believe me, when I talk on here about how boys are just as vulnerable as girls are -- most of that I learned firsthand, and not on purpose.
... so, yeah. Your "not nice" is my tough love, and it's exactly what I want, and exactly what I need.
Also, if yr on here asking this question, it's likely that you've just been hurt yourself, and/or have seen one of yr friends get hurt.
If that's the case, then you are gna be over-sensitive to this kind of thing. Just like how you'd want to go into a really cold room if you were getting heat stroke, or how you'd want to eat really bland foods if you'd just burned yr mouth with spices.
If you just got hurt -- or saw someone get hurt -- by this sort of thing, yr gna be extra-avoidant of it, and extra-likely to label everything around you as "not nice".
So, be aware of that, too.