Based only on a person's username, can you decide what superpowers they would have?

I found on this on reddit and thought it might be fun to do here. Here are the rules. Post something, doesn't matter what, and let the others decide what super powers you would have!
Based only on a person's username, can you decide what superpowers they would have?



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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am a Queen of gag! I don't need a superpower lol!

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    • Nonsense, everyone needs a super power. Yours is to have them apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur and have the whole club lookin at you.

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    • With a shout saying “I AM A QUEEN OF GAG,” the Amazing Apple raced to the local grocery store to save the town from eating too unhealthily.
      “It’s too late! With my powerful nails, I’ve already slashed the prices on pop tarts dirt cheap. No one will buy the produce and healthy stuff now! Mwahaha” said her arch-nemesis Freddy Kroger. Using her special ability, “Produce of Perfection,” she added real fruit to the artificial fruit spread of Poptarts. The town bought poptarts, supporting their local store, and eating extra healthily with real fruit in the mix.

    • @dangerDoge Well that was creative! haha (:

Most Helpful Guy

What Girls Said 26

  • I've passed by this question a couple times now. Mine would deal with empathy, but I'm not sure of the specifics. :P

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    • You could calm down any angry mob with the snap of a finger!

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    • With haste and hurry, EmpatheticLady, calmer of teenagers and children, rushed to the scene. What she found there was pure chaos: the teen's angst formed a monster and was attacking the nearby music store. It was turning all the music to punk.
      Luckily, EmpatheticLady had the power "Pain Absorb," which let her empathize with others and literally feel another persons pain. With combination of special ability "Pain Transfer," she could seize the pain from someone else entirely. Using this c-c-c-combo breaker, EL took the monster of angst head on. With a punch applying directly to the forehead, she instantly absorbed all the angst from the beast.
      Afterwards, they were able to talk about all their feelings and they finished off with hug of feels.
      The townspeople, in honor of such a heroic feat, created a statue of two bald men hugging each other with the caption "I know that feel bro."

      It may scare little children as they walk by... but for that reason... the people will never forget.

    • @dangerDoge Lmfao. You're too awesome. I love it!

      @Asker Better not move to the dark side then!

  • ill drive you just bananas and control your mind ;P

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    • oh right i wasn't supposed to tell u that. whoops. fail.

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    • Haha thank you, thank you. I aim to please 😂

    • @dangerDoge I aim for the toilet bowl :D #housebroken
      @ Anna why not? You could be a reverse fruit porn star.

  • I know that some users mistake my username for Dildo, soo I don't really wanna know what kind of power I would have 😂

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  • Oh mighty facepalm/squid/whoooooooooo.. give me a super power pweeesseee...

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    • Your super power is the ability to summon Keyspirits! you're his long lost love and top priority on his baby making radar!

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    • I saw keyspirits on a youtube comment flirting with someone. He still talked the same too hahaha

    • @dangerDoge XDDDDDD reallly? hahahahahaha.. this is hilarious..

  • I may have an idea what kind of superpower I have. Maybe someone else will have a better idea. :-p

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    • your super power is, Ant-woman :D but a slightly racist southern version.

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    • Riding on her trusty horse, aptly named “Buffalo,” she raced over to Texas to fight her arch nemesis, “Krusty the Wrangler.” This clown had been unfairly wrangling children at bad rodeo parties, then scaring children the children with his lame party tricks.
      “THIS SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR SOUTHERN SHORTY” as she barged in on a crime party in progress. She used her super power, “Tumbleweed” to send Krusty spinning in circles away from the party crime. He retaliated with a swift punch, but Southern Shorty dodged at the last second with her secondary power “Southern Shrink.” Krusty was defeated and the birthday party was saved.

    • @dangerDoge Haha. This was better than I imagined.

  • GI fit it... 👍

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    • @dangerDoge

      Wow 😮
      You're good 👍👍👍

    • Yup from your username. Thats the definition of the word diva ;P

  • I'm just trying to see what superpower I would have xD

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  • Counting to 21 I suppose. I hear not everyone can do that. Especially preschoolers.

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    • With "BG 21" on the emblem, BelleGirl raced to the preschoolers to save them from her arch enemy, "the Beast." With her power of "Forever 21," she used her special abilities to conjure alcohol and subdued the beast with her charm until he passed out from drunkenness... in just 21 seconds. She then carried him over to the local jail, where he will be released once the rose loses its last pedal.

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    • You're half-life. Because life is 42!

    • @YourFutureEx ih no lol. I'm getting close to death!

  • @Yumix could turn anyone else into a DJ with his stare. I have no idea what brought that to mind. lol

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    • Ehm... what why? 😂

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    • (Note: Photogenic Fiend was only a fiend because he was the kind of guy that posted every meal he ate with multiple angles of each plate)

    • @dangerDoge Hah when I saw "multiple angles of each plate" I first thought about mammograms LMAO.

      But, cute! And can tell you put some time into that!

  • I'm already god, I have all the superpowers. 😛💁

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  • I feel like I could have the power to turn people into chocolate. Then I'd eat them... Because chocolate.

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  • What's mine?

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    • Looking cute, rolling down hills and napping lol

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    • With her billionaire parents gone tragically when they lost her accidentally at Disney world (Hong Kong), Miss Panda managed to make her way to China, only to be lost and afraid. Luckily, the pandas took her in and raised her as their own. Years later in present time, with a heightened sense of smell and ability to eat bamboo, she reclaimed her family fortune and decided to devote her life to fighting crime. She made use of her Chinese martial arts and named herself “MissPanda Po.” Along with this, she made an all black and white costume and spoke with an overly deep and intimidating raspy voice (for disguising purposes).
      Her arch nemesis, “The Poker,” wanted to create a world where Facebook spammed pokes to everyone excessively and constantly… but MissPanda Po, with layers of camouflaged fur and secret martial arts, stood in his way.

    • Hahahaha this is awesome 😂

  • I wander. ;)

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  • I'm not sure what super powers I'd have. My username is pretty plain lol

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  • A'yooooga!!!😂

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  • Now I'm curious! :p

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    • Ill let you think about it while I order pizza, cause isn't that what you do Ms (or Mr? I dont judge) Overthinkingmind

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    • You ask too many questions and drive people crazy? That's the best I could think of :P

    • @ClariceOwen23 That's not a superpower :( That's more like nuisance for people lol and I already have that ability :p

  • I would simply out ride them. lol hahaha

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    • lol there's a certain superpower involving "riding" that comes to mind. But I won't be disgusting just this time.

    • Yea I could imagine what your thinking. GAG mods would yank it off.

  • This is actually funny haha I want to know my superpower!

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    • Bit by a spider infused with the mysterious chemical “x07,” she gained the superpower to become EXTREMELY photogenic and great at talking in front of crowds. Because of this, she became an internet sensation. She named this show “iCarlie.” With her friends, Alex (he’s from target) and Zack “Danger” Brown, they fought trolls off the internet.
      However, their arch nemesis “Pewdiedie,” tried standing in their way. He tried to brainwashing the masses into creating illicit Swedish ad revenue. Luckily, the team of “iCarlie” stepped in and stopped this Swedish madman with the super power of “Internet Breakage,” the ability to disconnect someone’s internet signal from miles away.

    • @dangerDoge thats better than what I was gonna write xD I was just gonna say
      @Carliexo7 you superpower is to multiply yourself 7 times, and make your boyfriend a lucky guy xD

  • 😏 you guys better not say something lame

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    • Its probably gonna be lame xD here it goes. you're naturally wonderful. everyone around you thinks that, but deep down you know your soul is as black as tar, because you have a dark secret. You *drumroll* *eyes get teary* put the toilet paper over 😭

  • Based on my username, I have no idea what kind of super powers I have 0. o

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  • 😈😈😈

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  • lol these are creative what's mine?

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  • My superpower... I hope it's badass

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    • Its kick ass. Your power is to instantly teleport to Selbrook, Alabama, from any location on the planet.

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    • @dangerDoge You really put a lot of effort in those things xD kudos

    • It is fun writing absolute nonsense every once in awhile. XD

  • I have no idea what super power I would have.

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  • No idea

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  • Butts pls

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    • Your superpower is to be invisible and leave no fingerprints. Also butts cause you asked for it :P

    • thank youuuuu :3

What Guys Said 23

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  • What is my superpower? :O
    The ability to write in perfect comic sans? hahaha

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  • a cat
    sat
    on a mat

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  • I've mentioned this before on GaG, but:

    When my sister worked as a counselor (psych, not academic) at a Jr. High, they had survey with rhetorical questions. One was, if you could be invisible, just once, for a couple hours, what would you do?

    The most common answer for the girls: They would follow their friends around and see what they said about them when they weren't around.

    The boys: They would go in the girls locker room.

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  • If you give me a power, please let it be something useful.

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    • The superpower is supposed to be based on your username. With a username that has "this". "dude", and "here" you really aren't giving me much to work with. Hmm lets see now. You have the power to spot the shemale in a group of female looking creatures! Take it or leave it.

    • Taking it. That's good enough.

  • i would have the ability to make your eyes bleed and cause a brain aneurism by making horrible movies

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    • Thats a tough one xD @dangerdoge we need you to save the day!

    • Tommy, called by the people as "Other_Tommy_Wiseau," came from another world to take over the Earth and the movie business. He realized that Hollywood was doing it ALL wrong so he took it upon himself to seize the world before Hollywood destroyed it from dreadful movies like Shawshank Redemption and Casablanca.
      With his power-- "Cult-ivate," he was able to brainwash anyone who watched his absolutely fantastic movies. From that, he made the greatest movie of all time, "The Roomba," a story starring his personal vacuum cleaner and some various household cleaning supplies.
      The brainwashed masses formed a cult following of him. While his arch nemesis, "Other_Morgan_Freeman" tried to save the people from brainwashing, Freeman only managed in freeing the critiques and reviewers.
      So to this day, Other_Tommy_Wiseau uses his brainwashing powers, funded by "imported sweat pants from another world," to slowly take over the people's hearts (well... everyone but the freed critiques)

  • You always have the best gifs

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  • I would tell all of you have to fix your lives

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    • After an intense day at the gym, Tim went home and donned his superhero outfit, "Consultant." He went out into the world, ready to tell everyone how to fix their lives. However, he found his arch nemesis, Polo the Pulverizer, looking for a fight. Consultant immediately went to tell him about how he shouldn't fight and how it is morally wrong, but then he was ambushed by Tony the Ripped Tiger. "Sloths gon sloth" were the last words he heard as he went unconscious.
      Barely escaping death, Consultant retired from the superhero business for awhile, yet only to return as ConsultantIsBack. He was more powerful than ever now and his hard work of lifting 'heavy ass weights' paid off. At this point, his back was so defined it grew a mind of its own and provided its own consultation to Tim. Now Tim could get consultation from his back (named Jim), while he could give out advice too. C-c-combo breaker!
      Polo and Tony stood no chance against his newfound power "Back to Back Consultation."

    • @dangerDoge hahaha wow so visual, when's your book and movie series coming out?

  • A fabulous interior decorator with a fascination with the color red.

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    • You could be anything you want and you chose to be fabulous? I ain't even mad.

    • Lol that's all I could think of with my lame user name

  • As llorando I have the power to make everyone feel bad/sorry for me to the point the give into my commands.

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    • That is you power! And frankly I can't come up with anything cause I dont know who llorando is xD

    • I'm llornado and llorando is Spanish for crying.

  • Obviously something to do with fire or the phoenix lol.

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    • You posses the Phoenix98 force. A cosmic entity that has the power the destroy the universe, impregnate it, and give birth to it again. Such is the way of the Phoenix98 :D

    • Sure I'll take it lol.

  • I don't know what my superpowers would be but whatever that is, you better not be behind me. Haha.

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  • Hmm, I see...

    Being able to hump a tornado is quite a super power lol

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    • You have the power to turn every tornado into an anal salute!

  • I'm Tarvold. My super power is a Viking Victory.

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  • Snails have male and female genitalia.

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  • Tell me my superpower!

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    • You are the great GaG oracle. People come to you in search of enlightenment, guidance, and a beer drinking buddy.

  • I can solve everyone's math and science problems through the music of Nirvana

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    • lol I would say that your power is to teleport all nerds to a magical place where pokemon are real and everyone gets a free lightsaber AND an admission letter to Hogwards AND everyone is a beta tester for Half Life 3

  • Do me. I want a super power

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    • Your name is Max. Your world is fire and blood. Once, you were a cop. A road warrior searching for a righteous cause. As the world fell, each of you in your own way was broken. It was hard to know who was more crazy... you... or everyone else.

    • Well... that's extremely apt for my life as a whole, but I can't help but feel like that's not really a superpower lol

    • XD have you seen the new mad Max? That guy is a fucking superhero so respect the name my friend. Respect it and wear it proud into battle. I am not sure where I am going with this but battle cry time *ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

  • I think I can guess which superpowers people see in me :)

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    • Your power is, the perpetual grandpa! you're full of stories about the good old days where cassettes were a thing and CD's were the devil's magic.

    • Haha :D That'd be possible. I have full of stories in the past that I was not in them :)

  • What's mine?

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  • My super power would be to be a guest in all of your homes lol and clean the house in 26 seconds

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  • i could drive the world to suicide

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    • Something tells me you're going to try to drive everyone on gag to suicide lol

  • Wotever I touch... turns into shit... like Midas but in a different way...

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    • You can really fuck up with people like that hahah "You have a nice car? I say its shit" *poof* insta buyers remorse.

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