I was reading an article about a black girl named Karyn Washington, who committed suicide. I was just thinking all day yesterday about how a lot of black girls don't commit suicide. I just kept thinking about it ALL night. Then, in the middle of the night I kept hearing these thoughts telling me to kill myself. It wasn't demon voices, it was like I was forcing myself to think these thoughts. It got so bad I started to cry and walk around my room and I even hung my jump rope around my closet thing because I was getting ready to hang myself but then I decided to try and calm myself down so I turned on the lights and played some Drake. LoL, his songs make me happy. But, I just feel so weirded out by it and I don't know I feel like I might have to be put in a mental hospital or something.
Please don't tell me to go to a therapist, because that means i'd have to tell my mom and we don't have that "oh, i'll get you the help you need," relationship. We have more of a, get your self together type one. I don't know. I don't know I feel crazy.
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