Black friend: Was I ignorant for saying this?

So my personality is very sarcastic. I have this black American friend who's a girl. she always talks about race in conversations even filling her Facebook walls with it. The thing is her black friends call her the n word and she uses it too

So recently we were just talking and things like this have happened before but she said
"something smells burned". To which i sarcastically joked without thinking replied "you smell burnt" which i would've said to any friend irrespective of race

She flipped out and started talking about race and ignorance and was fighting with me


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Most Helpful Girl

  • hm... well i can understand her reaction, so i think that was a little out of line there, but i don't know her personality so it's hard to know what she can take and what she can't.

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    • In the past, she flipped out on someone for referring to someone as "the black guy" when there's only one other black guy in the friend circle and the person didn't know his name. So she gave him a race lecture.

      Do you think how she acted was justified considering she already uses the n word to call other people it and herself

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    • but, she's done the same thing. she said "the asian/insert ethnicity" so it's not exclusive. when she referred to people she didn't know.

      we had an argument the other day when i only talked about the movie the reverent having a very unrealistic recovery. the man was clawed to pieces by a bear in a forest and left for hours before being discovered... yet makes a full recovery later on. she told me only white people and white culture he would've died. i said people in the past only used to live to around 40 years. she said people used to live to 200 before white people etc

    • Just so you and her know... The Revenant was based on a real mans life story.
      http://www.britannica.com/biography/Hugh-Glass
      Do the man a bit of justice, he had a rough life.

      As for the main issue, I don't understand why the type of descriptor matters. I honestly don't see much difference between being called "The black kid" vs "The curly haired guy" vs "The guy in the leather jacket" vs "The redhead" vs "The asian" vs "The REALLY white guy".

      In the end, they are all just descriptions. I feel like the real offense comes from hyper-sensitivity. Is white paper racist? How about black ink pens?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well after reading your post, it seems to me like she's very fixated on racial backgrounds. To be honest, I don't think you did anything wrong, but after learning how she reacted here, perhaps think more about you say. My humour is pretty situational like that as well.

    If she's literally arguing with you about it, and you told her it was a joke
    she's overeacting, or very sensitive about the topic.

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What Girls Said 3

  • My rule of thumb with people is that if they use derogatory terms themselves all them time, but get bent out of shape if anyone else but a [insert applicable race/ethnicity] person does - steer clear.

    I don't have the time nor patience for professional victims.

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  • tell her u didn't mean it like that, if your intentions weren't to be rude then she should forgive u. if u did mean it racially then i can't say she's wrong to be offended because that's the kind of world we live in.

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    • i did, she didn't take it. she started lecturing me about race and got angry that i wasn't interested in a conversation about it or that i wasn't eager to engage it.

      Ther other day i was having a conversation with her, i asked her if she's seen the movie the reverent. we talked a bit and i said it was excessively unrealistic because the person got his skin tore to pieces by a bear in the forest and he shouldv'e easily died from infection.

      we talked and she said, "no, you're relating it to white people and white culture history, the native americans knew how to deal with infection. only the white people that took the land of other races didn't know" because i said that in the past most people only lived to 40. she said no, some people used to live to 200 years old etc

    • that seems like a fun topic to argue over especially if you pulled up receipts from historical sites lol, if you don't like talking to her then why are you her friend?

  • She can't take a joke in my opinion. I'm part Indian and I get hit up with Indian jokes all the time but whatever, I laugh at them too. She's super self-conscious of being black and so everything she hears will be filtered through a lens of "they're making fun of my race" even when that's not the case at all.

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What Guys Said 6

  • No she took it that way she made it racial not you so you did not do anything wrong. I would suggest getting a new friend because if she has that much hate for your ethnicity that she would ignore everything she knows about you to make things racial then she isn't a very good friend.

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  • Hahahaha. Nice one, bro.

    Just leave her to get her panties in a twist. I, as a black man, find your humour funny. She is just taking it all too seriously.

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    • Thanks. Yeah she confuses me

  • she's an ignorant little shit if she can't take a joke she's not a friend race has nothing to do with it.

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  • She sounds like a militant black woman

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  • She's complicated, tell her to move on my nigga

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  • That's pretty funny dude. She needs to get a sense of humor. I'd ditch her if I was you.

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