How to get over low self esteem with girls?

I have low self esteem and honestly it's not like girls never like me. There have been more than a few time when absolutley gorgeous girls would tell me they like me or flirt hardcore with me but I can never bring up the courage to ask them out or I wait to long.
For example this one time this gorgeous receptionis was hardcore hitting on me and my friend just playfully mocked me for not doing anything. Any tips on getting over shyness


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What Girls Said 1

  • As humans we fear rejection. I would suggest starting with low risk things, such as asking for a phone number. Then you can work your way up to asking for dates.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I feel ya. I was always pretty shy with girls too when I was younger. I've found that getting over it involved two main things.

    The first was establishing my self-confidence completely unrelated to girls. Part of the problem with tying self-esteem to another person is that the fear of their rejection can prevent us from making a move because it makes us feel diminished. Getting over that requires some self-affirmations. Recognize what you're awesome at, and if there are things you think are weaknesses, work on them, not because of how they'll make you look to someone else, but because of how they'll make you feel about yourself. Those can be things like working out more, reading more, developing a hobby- really anything that makes you feel proud of yourself on your own.

    The second part was facing the fear. Getting rejected really sucks the first time, and the second time, and the... well, getting rejected always sucks. But it sucks a lot more until it happens and you realize that the world didn't end. A lot of times, shy guys can get stuck in their heads, getting enamored with the idea of a girl, and the more that builds up, the scarier the prospect of rejection seems. This is going to sound harsh, but the easiest way to be confident when asking someone out is to genuinely not care whether she says yes. Practice with someone you're not particularly interested in. If she says yes, the best case scenario is you go out with her and discover that you actually like her; the worst case scenario is that you buy her a drink or something and you decide not to see her again. If she says no, she says no, and the world moves on.

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