Anyone here ever experienced what it is like to lose someone important and close to them or someone that they loved?
Lose someone such as a close friend, family member, relative, etc. from any kind of tragedy? I know because I did.
I would expect some of you already had by now, and some of you never had, yet.
Anyone seen someone close to them in their last moments such as when they are passing away on their death bed or something? Or had been there when they had recently just passed away, etc.
What was it like for you?
How did you deal with it?
How did you cope with it?
Knowing that they are gone and gone forever, and the only thing that is left is just the memories you have of them, or at least you tried to hold onto them as much as and as long as possible.
Most Helpful Girl
I lost my grandfather in October. He lived quite far away, so I didn't see him often. I wasn't very close with him, but I had moments where we were pretty close. I didn't get to say goodbye because his death was unexpected. He was okay, and then suddenly he just... died. No one was expecting it. He was very sick but he didn't tell anyone because he didn't want to go to the doctor. One day I found out that he was gone. I had known that his "time" was coming soon, and I didn't think I would be very upset. But it was only when he was gone when I realized how much I really did love him. And I still do. I was a wreck for about a week. I would randomly start crying out of nowhere. His funeral was terrible for me. He looked just like I remembered him. I was crying so much. The way I coped with it was realizing that sometimes you just have to let go. I realized that he was gone and there was no way to every bring him back. I'm not very religious. I consider myself an atheist even. But there is just something about "talking" to him after he died that made me feel at peace. I know that I am only 13 years old, so you wouldn't expect good advice and you'd think I'm "not old enough to understand", but I do. I really do. I have so much regret because I never got to really know him. He was always grumpy, but apparently there's side to him that I never knew; a side where he was always happy and laughing and making jokes. I never got to know him in that way. My mother told me something that he said that I never knew: he said that he wanted to live to see that day I turn 18 years old. He wanted to see what I would do with my life. I didn't know he cared about me that much. But he really did. Sometimes, you only realize how much you love someone after they are gone.1
Most Helpful Guy
I am really sorry for your loss. My father passed away from cancer about 19 months ago so I know the scene you are describing. Each person has their own way of coping with what has happened. I won't lie to you it does change you and really only people who being through it understand it. I will just rattle off points as they come to mind.
(1) Don't worry you will never forget them, you will always be thinking of them just as time goes by it will be filed away in an area of your brain whereas right now it is at the forefront of your mind.
(2) The grief never goes like your memories, how you feel will change as you adapt to the loss and them not being there. Now it hurts like fuck in time it joins the memories in the filing cabinet becoming more of a sadness and less gut wrenching.
(3) This bit depends on your personality, some like to take time out whereas other people like to surround themselves with things and people.
(4) Anything goes laugh/smile about good memories or cry your eyes out or get angry that they were taking away.
(5) Other people close to the person need you and you need them.
(6) Afterwards some people just go back to normal as quick as possible, others take an extended time out (I took my time to come to terms with whole thing)
(7) Don't do anything silly like looking for comfort in drink or drugs or destructive behaviour
(8) People will seem really strange maybe annoying but they probably have the best of intentions not knowing how to talk to you.
One of the girls here wrote a good take about it and I gave an opinion in my old account as KDA20 but there was other good opinions there as well.