Do you ever feel like your not good enough for your bf/gf/wife/husband?

like your not the idea person you wish to be for them. And you know its gonna take years before you become what you consider as perfect person. Sometimes I find it hard to accept the things I have been given and dealt with. Like sometimes I just wish I could change everything about me just so I can match the other person who cares about me. Like what I have isn't good enough.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I dont think I'd want to be husband material, Id rather be fling material. 😎

    "Sometimes I find it hard to accept the things I have been given and dealt with."

    I can relate to that although I wouldn't change to become what others want. I have my own idea of perfection in my head that I compare myself to. Probably about average in most areas but I still couldnt think of a single aspect of me that I wouldn't at least slightly modify if it were possible. Sadly I feel like even if I vould be everything I wish I was or have everything I wish I had, Id most likely grow bored of it all anyway :/

    Probably not mentally or emotionally healthy to think like this tho.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel like that, when i've felt like my boyfriend and I aren't on the same level of understanding. He thinks one way about something and i think the other. Sometimes i feel like with all these misunderstandings happening, he would be better off being with someone who is similar to him. Someone who's a logical thinker, not someone who is emotional. It can be frustrating a lot. It's hard to not be able to think like he does. He can always see things differently then I do, and i feel like it's difficult for us some of the time. We do understand each other when we communicate and listen to each other, but i feel like he can find someone who understands him because they have his sort of personality, and I don't, it just saves time and more time to enjoy the good times. I just don't want to put him through that stress of communicating when i'm emotional. He'll try to tell me what his thinking and it's hard to interpret when i'm an emotional person. Sometimes i wish i was less emotional and all the more logic.

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What Guys Said 24

  • I feel I am more then ample for any women I am with, and I would know right away the first time we met and talked.. as would always be the case.. if she in any way thought she was somehow better then I was or had that mightier then god attitude.. I would just turn and walk away from her.. no matter how pretty she thought she looked to people.

    But no women has ever thought that of me.. all my dates that I have been on are treated as equal.. no one on this planet to me is better then anyone else we all have red blood.. some were just brought up to think they are better or gods gift or maybe they just thought it by up them self

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  • I think everybody goes through similar emotions when thinking about their place inside a relationship, out of relationship or even being single. My advice really is always the same concentrate on yourself, be true to yourself - Let the other person fall for the real you and don't get yourself all stressed about changing to match another person's expectations. If you are to change, do it because you want to.

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  • I constantly think I'm not good enough. I was once chatting with this girl and things were looking up but I for some reason thought it would never work so I ghosted her. Months pass and I found another who's funnier, cuter and I thnink likes me even more and I have no idea what to do.

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  • I am who I am, love me the way I am, or just don't bother. I think I am good enough for anyone. I am a decent guy who loves his girls to the end of the earth and back and would do anything for them.

    I make a pretty good living and share it without remorse because they are my family. I am a romantic-type and always let my girlfriend know that I care about her and that she is very important to me.

    I love my pets like they are people, and provide a great peaceful home in the country overlooking the lake.

    I stay in pretty good shape with my career and outdoor sports, at least I think so for my age, anyway!

    I am faithful to no end to my daughter and my girlfriend, which in this day in age is almost unheard of.

    So overall, ya I could improve here and there in places, but when it comes down to it I would say I am better a better than average kinda guy!

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  • Based on questions on here it's not rare... but fortunately often it's because people think that "not being perfect" is an issue :o
    But most people like you as you are, weaknesses included :D

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  • No not really I mean I have things to work on and improve sure but not to the point were I would consider myself not good enough for someone.

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  • This feeling is normal. I've felt it before too though and I know many others who have felt it before. When you're exposed to a great person, you feel like you aren't enough or won't be enough for this person. Generally you look highly upon their looks & personality and compare it to yours & it brings disappointment. It's just our minds way of comparing us to others but it's exaggerated greatly because of the feelings you have for the person are stronger than normal. You're completely okay & nothing is wrong. :)

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  • That's a horrible thing to feel, you need to convince yourself of that and find a way to change your opinion of yourself. Perfect is subjective as well as a myth. If you feel less than adequate then all you need to do is improve the areas that you can. Look at me, I used to weigh 325 lbs! Nothing is impossible, just focus and put forth the effort. Someone will like you for you.

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  • Yep, I always feel that about myself, I always feel she deserves someone better then me, but I made a promise to never leave her, and I intend to keep that promise

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  • No, she

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  • Nah im pretty fucking awesome for them, that way of thinking stops you from ever becoming better and in fact hurts your relationship. just stop it

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  • There was this one awesome girl I absolutely refused to date because I felt like I wasn't cool enough at the time, still believe she deserves a super awesome guy with a killer personality.

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  • I always feel the opposite. Am I too good for her? At least I did with my ex, and I was right!!! I can do MUCH better, and hopefully eliminate any type of those feelings.

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  • No not really.. I'm just a dude with flaws. If I was a dude full of flaws then that's a different story.

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  • I feel like just the type of life I plan to live there's no room for love.

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  • Even after much improvement, I'll never be perfect

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  • I feel like I'm not good enough in general.

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  • Don't we all feel that at some point in our lives or the other?

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  • Sometimes i do feel that my best friend deserves more, as a partner i mean, i like her but she's unsure. I feel that she can have someone better but i just wanna wait because i am selfish and want all of her for myself.

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  • I feel that we both have issues but she doesn't seem willing to change or compromise to me

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  • no I feel like I am too damn good for all of you lol

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  • That depends in which one of my current girlfriends

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    • Joking I've never dated and wanted to be part of the conversation but admit it I totally got you there.

  • No, i am very luck to have her though. She is one of the best people in my life.

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  • I don't think I'm worthy of a girlfriend

    No car
    No money
    Etc etc

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What Girls Said 25

  • I've felt like this before, it's not a good feeling. The thing is though, if you were to change everything about yourself, you wouldn't be the person they fell in love with. I think that's the big thing that you need to see. It's hard when we are feeling this way to think that we are enough. But we are. Even if we haven't accomplished the things we want to accomplish right now, we are still enough.

    Everyone is enough, even when they aren't feeling like they are. I think it's normal to feel this way, but it's not good to dwell on it. Try to do things that make you happy. Do things you enjoy and work towards your goals.

    The thing is, if they didn't feel you were enough, they wouldn't have wanted to be with you in the first place. I struggle with this a lot too. It's tough, and often times it has kept me from reaching out and getting what I want out of life.

    I rarely ever approach guys, because I figure they aren't interested in me. Which is untrue. Some of them might actually be quite interested in me, but I will never know because I never took that chance. I'm trying to work on that.

    Things do get better, once you realize that we are all imperfect in our own way. Just because someone has a seemingly perfect relationship, doesn't mean they are any better than you are.

    I have friends who met their husband in high school. Today they are still finding themselves, but are still in happy relationships. Life is a journey, and you are meant to discover new things about yourself in every step. So don't feel bad if you haven't accomplished all of your goals just yet. There is still so much to experience in life.

    You will find someone who will love you for who you are and will want to take that journey with you :)

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  • Not really. I mean sure, quite often I'll feel super lucky to have him and all that good stuff. That my friends don't even realize how thoughtful and sweet he is, etc..

    Maybe I'll sometimes feel so lucky that yeah, I feel like maybe he's too good for me. That is really just for a fleeting moment though. Before I start viewing it as motivation for me to up my game in being just as good to him in return. :)

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  • No, he tells me everyday that I'm so special to him and that he feels lucky, I feel like sometimes he deserves better because when i'm in a bad mood I'm in a bad mood until I decide to be out of one etc. And whats great is they know you and they should bring out the best of you and to you, you may have your flaws and faults but to them they're not as noticeable or important as they are to you- to them. We are our worst critics

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  • Yeah, sometimes. I can feel like he's just so great and the best thing that happened to me and nothing I can do will repay him or make him being with me worthwhile for him but it's dangerous to think like that. It's just my anxiety talking probably so I just have to sit down and talk it over with him and then push the thoughts away where they don't bother me anymore.

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  • No... I know he's better than me in somethings, and I am better than him in some things. We help eachother. He wants to be with me for a reason even though he knows im far from perfect. And that makes me feel good enough already! But if i know there are some things that I need to work i try my best to work on them. Its all about trying your best... no one will ever be perfect and the more you try to be perfect the more you screw up. I've tried :/ so i just try to improve what i can.. especially if it hurts someone or affects other people and the rest is just who I am.

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  • Not at all :) That's the kind of insecurity that is unhealthy for a relationship. Your partner chose you for a reason and that reason was likely not because you are insecure or not good enough...

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  • That's a tough one; I feel like my man and I are on the same level, and I love that. It's one of the reasons I married him. He knows and sees and loves the real me. I have dated someone who was way out my league before, and it was exciting because I liked him, but at the same time it also felt like too much pressure. I always had to be on my best behaviour and put my best foot forward sort of thing.

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  • Well if it wasn't for the distance my answer can be more accurate, but unfortunately there's distance that separates us 😔 anyways, I try my best to give him support, make him feel happy, and share the small moments together even when the distance is in between, and he does the same thing to me ❤ he always deserves the best, and I hope I'm the best and the perfect one for him, coz he is the perfect guy for me

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  • yeah i had that feeling before.

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  • Sometimes I feel that way. Like he could do so much better. And some days I feel like I could do so much better lol

    But most days I feel like he's the one who makes me happy and I do my best to be the best I can be for him - to be his support system, his advise giver, his best friend. And most days I feel like he puts forth the same amount of effort to do that for me.

    We all have our bad days. The trick is to not let them get to you. Unless those bad days happen the majority of the time in which case it's time to end the relationship :p

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  • No but i felt many times that they aren't good (suitable) enough for me. In every relationship people have to find a balance, sort of meet half way but changing yourself only because you want to fit the other persons expectations is wrong and it really will not work at the end. People can only change when themselves want to change, anything else is temporary

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  • I'm definitely not goid enough for my boyfriend... At Rock Paper Scissors any way. He beats me EVERY freaking time.

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  • I try to be the best I can be for him.
    Sometimes I don't feel good enough for him. He's such an amazing guy. I really don't know what he sees in me at times haha.
    I feel like I can be very emotional and maybe crabby at times around him and I feel bad for that. I also worry too much. He points that out a lot. Haha
    Physically I feel like I can improve myself as well.

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  • Honestly I work really hard to be the best I can be and I try ridiculously hard (even if others don't see it) to always do the right thing in any given situation. Therefore, I feel like I am good enough. However, I think I have a couple of years before I really meet someone I like and settle down. I still strive to work on myself in all aspects though.

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  • everyone gets that feeling at some point in the relationship.
    no one is too good for anyone else.
    the only thing that makes it seem like that is the differences in personality.

    i bet he has felt the same way, or he will soon.
    it's a perfectly normal thing, and as your relationship grows, you will hopefully realize that you two are compatible

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  • Well of course. I have a super talented, smart and well- paid Boyfriend. I feel like I got so lucky with him. I don't know how I landed him but I did... OH wait...-Tinder- (Surprise!) But, it feels weird having to take always and never really giving because he makes more than me.

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  • no I don t feel as bad as you :/
    but I don t really have people s patience much, and I like my liberty and personal space.
    also I can be quite cold, and affectionate
    so that clearly deducts some points

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  • Only more recently, due to my medical issue. Before I thought I'd make a great girlfriend.

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  • Sadly yes, but everyone has problems, but sometimes i feel like i have more messed up ones recently. But thankfully i have friends that help me through everything. I am very lucky

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  • As example Now I hate Soccer but if my SO love soccer I'll change myself but if he love to Smoke or more I'll not change myself So I'm good but he is not

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  • I feel like that all the time.

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  • Yes, but then he lets me know otherwise

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  • I'm not in a relationship but I know I'm not good enough for any man.

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