Feeling lost... what do I do?

Sorry if this post is a little long but I don't know where else to turn.

Almost a year ago I met this guy who was traveling for work. I live in Virginia, he lives in Texas. We will call him Mike. Mike and I sat and talked for hours before departing ways. Back then, I didn't think anything of it as we exchanged numbers. I figured I would never hear from him but low and behold he text me the very next day and we became friends. We would check in with each other every once in a while for the first 3-4 months. I don't even remember what all started it but about 7 months ago we started talking every day. Sometimes all day and night, sometimes randomly throughout the day but consistently every day and he's always been the one to initiate the conversation. We've shared a lot of deep things with each other, including our fears and doubts about the future and ourselves. We have flirted with each other almost every day. I even told him a couple months ago that I thought I had a crush on him. He responded positively and told me how he loved our conversations and that he was blessed to have me in his life. We have been each other's support systems in various times the last couple months. There have been so many moments in the last couple months where he has said things that made me question the status of our friendship. For example he would say things like "Its crazy how different we are and yet it just seems to work with us." or he'll tell me how pretty my eyes are or come up with some cheesy line to make me laugh. I decided that I would go down to Texas to visit. I felt like it was time to see if what I felt for him was the same in person. And it was... we had an absolute blast. We spent the weekend laughing and talking and dancing. He was the perfect gentleman I expected him to be. So I felt it was time to bring up the topic of us and my feelings. I told him that I felt like my head was telling me one thing and my heart was telling me something different and that

Updates:
before I could make a decision I needed to know his thoughts. His response? "I just thought we were friends and it was cool to have a friend that's a girl". Talk about a total blow to the heart.

My heart is a little broken... I'm glad that I know now where I stand. It just sucks. And the reality of the situation sucks. Even if he had told me what I would have wanted to hear... we live in two different places. We both have tons of things going on. How would it ever actually work out?

I know it may be silly of me but I just don't really buy into his response. I dunno... that could just be my bias opinion because if it were up to me... Mike would be it for me. He would be the man I ended up with. I know how crazy that sounds because it sounds crazy for me to say it. I realized now that other men have been my kryptonite. They have made me feel weak and unsettled. Mike has become my strength. He encourages me and supports me. He builds me up and motivates me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • And what? the rest isn't there, there is a character limit.

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    • oops! sorry. I updated it but I won't let me update any more of the post. the remaining part said what's updated and then this. "He makes me want to be a better person. And I know I've inspired him as well because he's told me. Mike listens... and he follows up with me or he'll message me 2 days later with something he found relating to the topic. He's attentive. And he worries about me. Like when I travelled to Texas I got a taxi to my hotel instead of him coming to get me. He had to be up early at 4am the next morning for work and my plane didn't get in until almost 10:30pm. I didn't get to my hotel until almost 11:30pm and I just text him to let him know I made it. He was still up. The next day we were talking and he said "man it was so weird, I went to bed early and I just laid there. I couldn't sleep at all and then the minute you text me and told me you were safe, I crashed"

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    • I just read the update, I am sorry to hear. I hope you work things out.

    • Thank you. I just feel kind of lost right now. And as much as I don't want to, I feel like I have to cut him off for a while... I just really thought the feelings were mutual...

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  • And that what?

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    • oops! sorry. I updated it but I won't let me update any more of the post. the remaining part said what's updated and then this. "He makes me want to be a better person. And I know I've inspired him as well because he's told me. Mike listens... and he follows up with me or he'll message me 2 days later with something he found relating to the topic. He's attentive. And he worries about me. Like when I travelled to Texas I got a taxi to my hotel instead of him coming to get me. He had to be up early at 4am the next morning for work and my plane didn't get in until almost 10:30pm. I didn't get to my hotel until almost 11:30pm and I just text him to let him know I made it. He was still up. The next day we were talking and he said "man it was so weird, I went to bed early and I just laid there. I couldn't sleep at all and then the minute you text me and told me you were safe, I crashed"

    • We had this conversation two days ago and he told me that he truly appreciated the compliment and he's still initiated conversation with me every day since like normal. I don't want to lose him either because he has become an important part of my life and his friendship means a lot to me. I just don't know what to do about my feelings. I certainly don't want to invest or wait around for someone who doesn't feel that way about me but I can't help but feel drawn to him still. I have prayed over and over again about this and every time I pray for direction, something always seems to lead back to him... I just feel a little lost...

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