What should I do about the project? I am wondering who I can complain to for harassment?

My group member verbally attacked me. It was humiliating, it was personal and I was left in tears.

I don't know what to do. I feel terrible no one has ever spoken to me like that.

I was considering going to the prof but he is away.

I dont' even know if there is someone you can complain to for harassment in University. There is an upcoming meeting and it makes me sick to my stomach that I have to be in the same room as that monster.

But I also know if I don't go he has something t say, (she didn't come for our meeting).

What should I do? The only other option is to take someone with me but I don't have any real friends who I can take with me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • being yelled at is not always harassment. Did they do it just to be mean? Were they having a bad day and just lost it on you, and really didn't mean it? Were you NOT doing your share of the work, and they had a legitimate complaint?

    Your tears do not make it harassment. And intent or desire to be cruel, on their part, for no reason other than to humiliate you, makes it harassment.

    Just because no one has ever spoken to you like that before does not mean it might not have been called for.

    I AM NOT SAYING you deserved it. I have no idea what was said, in what context, or if it was true. All I am doing is asking YOU to be honest about what happened, before you decide to look for a way to try to get someone in trouble.

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    • The other way around, I did my share of the work and they didn't which caused a fight

Most Helpful Girl

  • Get bigger balls is what you should do

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What Guys Said 10

  • Learn to deal with it instead of running to someone else to salve problems that you should solve yourself. If you don't learn to stand up for yourself and deal with this kind of thing, you will get it the rest of your life. If you come across as weak, people will take advantage of you.

    If it's ongoing then it might be considered harassment. But happening once is something you should deal with yourself.

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  • Just go and do what you have to do for the sake of the assignment and your grade. You don't have to interact with the person at all. Just do your work and get it over with.

    After that, your done and he is out of your hair! Sometimes we have to work with people we dislike... it will happen again someday, so best to just say fuck it and get it over with.

    Making a big stink will just show people you can't handle it on your own. School is all about business, don't let things get personal.

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    • I have NO respect whatsoever for this guy. Not only is he a bad student, a slacker and a real ass apparently, he is so pathetic I feel disgusted by him especially after what he pulled the other day.

      It just goes to show that 'smart' people are deemed as arrogant and people usually feel sorry for those that are like him. I feel like that is so so messed up

    • Then when you go back to school and finish off the project keep those things in mind. If the guys a total loser then whatever negative crap he has to say about makes him look worse.

      Your other project team mates will respect you for returning to get the job done!

    • about you...

  • Yes, there are people to complain to.

    I still recommend you not to do. Bullies bully those who let themselves get bullied. The moment you go crying to the profs you just make it worse, because you could very well just write on your forehead "I am weak, please bully me".
    Instead you need to learn to stand up for yourself.

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  • grow up and learn to stand up for yourself.

    seriously. now's a good time to learn to defend yourself w/ dignity w/o having to subject yourself to being a crybaby who runs and tells someone else. if you're gonna rely on others to intervene you're gonna have a rough life.

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  • You have to learn to deal with other people. Trying to bag someone for harassment when you had a disagreement in a group project is failing the assignment. Group projects rarely are equal or well mannered... Even in grad school when people should have their shit together, people still fail at doing their part... Either you step up and do the lions share and lead the group, or you fall in line and do your job. Fighting trying to play tit for tat drama games is just proving you deserve to fail.

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    • Actually I did all the work and they are giving me a hard-time because I have no other friends in that group to back me up.

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    • Yes. Saturday they came with the material not even READ. Middle of the week... again no part. No explanation whatsoever and on top of it they were giving me attitude

    • Well I guess just explain the situation to your professor. He might penalize them for social loafing.

  • Get over it.
    You sound like a leftard crybully who wants to silence everyone who does not share their world view.

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  • I'm really not aware. I usually used to seek help from parent in such case when I was child. I never complained anything. I just changed myself a lot so no one can harasses me anymore.

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  • Why did he verbally attack you? There must be core reason for this drama.

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    • He thinks i think he's an idiot. I do not.

      I was upset that he did not do his work and told him he should not give me attitude when he hasn't done his part. I did it in front of the other groupmate who is a girl.

      he went full on psycho on me. I didn't understand what happened until I came home and analyzed his behaviour realizing he likes that other girl. He did not want him to come across as a weak guy in front of her.

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    • What bothers me about this situation is that he made me cry for a girl? Seriously?

      I was literally crying I couldn't stop myself because it was so hurting for me. Saying things like no one likes me and everyone has a problem with me etc.

      I don't deserve this when I'm the one who was working hard. If I go to the meeting it's like saying yeah you did this, but it's okay because I'm going to let you get away with it by pretending like everything is normal.

      He apologized to me over facebook in private which confirmed my belief that he didn't want to sound weak in front of the girl hence a private apology.

      I don't know how I am going to have to sit in the same room with this guy. I was so affected I was unable to get out of bed yesterday and continuously crying. Not that I'm over-sensitive it was just very hard because he ganged up on me with that girl, (although she was not as aggressive as he was and looked like she felt bad).

    • You seem like you're backed into a corner. You don't need their acceptance. I'd talk to the prof privately about this issue. His love life and drama is getting in the way of your studies and you just want to do good in school. He's just an asshole who let his emotions get the better of him while you had a genuine reason to be upset. Probably wasn't the first time he slacked off too. That's why I hate group work. Don't allow him to take any credit if he didn't do the work. And I think universities have some sort of complaint or harassment person to talk to. I go to community college so I really wouldn't know. Don't be silent and stand up to this jerk.

  • Nobody will care

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  • it isn't harassment unless he does it a lot or singles you out all the time

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you can't go to the professor, go to the course coordinator or someone in the department and ask for assistance.

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  • This may sound harsh, but you need to suck it up. People are gonna yell at you, and be mean, all through your life. Is it right? No, not really. But that's just how it is. You can't just go crying to someone else, wanting them to fix your problems. You need to learn to deal with it yourself.
    If what he said was so out of line, then you need to confront HIM. Not get your professor to do it for you.

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