If you saw a man physically abusing a woman in public would you step in and try to stop him?

Would you?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I *have* done it, at least twice off the top of my head.

    Once was a guy who was arguing with his girlfriend (presumably?) and slapped her a couple of times. He earned a punch to his temple and an invitation to use me as his slapping target - which he declined.

    The other time was on a commuter train. Some crazy homeless guy was babbling and getting in people's faces as he was moving through the train cars. One woman was obviously afraid of him and turned away, and he got in her face and started screaming at her. She started crying and was obviously terrified. I ran over and pulled him away from her. He tried to swing at me, but being (at the very least) drunk, I could see that coming from a mile away. I easily slipped his punch, grabbed his arm, and pulled him down to the ground and got my knee at the back of his neck. I "rode him" for a stop and a half until the transit cops relieved me of him. Several riders backed me up, and the cops took my name and let me go. I had to go all the way back home to change, though, as my pants stank from that guy - he was disgusting.

    Normally, I avoid getting involved if I can, but if there is actual violence happening, or it's clearly imminent, then, yes, I'm going to jump in. That's just who I am. in my opinion, it's nothing that any decent person wouldn't do.

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    • @Fugue What? You're gonna stand there and let some innocent women get beaten?

      I'd have preferred not to be involved in either of those situations, but you don't always get to choose what happens around you.

    • I don't see the word "beat" in this question. At any rate, if a man is willing to do that, you can end up like a dead superhero. Maybe you grew up in a yuppie neighborhood, but I didn't. And lastly, ask yourself this, would you do the same if it was a man getting beat?

What Guys Said 38

  • When I was younger, I would have and I did.
    Now, not so much.
    What I came to realise was that women chose the abusive psycho and probably rejected decent men because they were not 'exciting' enough.
    So, I am no longer inclined to deprive a woman of the full consequences of her bad decisions. How else can she learn?
    If, however, there is no apparent connection between the man and woman, then I would intervene with extreme force. As a student of karate, I have that option.
    The fellow who recorded the linked video summed up my thoughts fairly well.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOD-Yzre9ok

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    • "What I came to realise was that women chose the abusive psycho and probably rejected decent men because they were not 'exciting' enough." basically the same thing I was thinking when I wrote "It's always something no matter how little and usually the girl "saw the signs" but chose to ignore them early on in the R-ship or whatever. So ya can't expect me to risk my freedom/life to "save" her" in my op.

      #Agreed

  • Naw not at all since it isn't my problem nor is the #risk worth the reward of "thank you" IMHO. Cuz what happens if I see him again while he has his friends with him or has a gun? Naw I'm dead for trying to play captain save a broad for some random girl.

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    • :O disappointing Mist... smh:(
      Here I was thinkin you were some kind of MISTerious superhero :(

    • @biracialQT Umm, but don't you (we) have to think about the what IFS in this situation? I mean what happens if and when I beat his ass? He takes the L and then goes home, recovers and resumes to beat her even worse, right? So then my efforts would have been wasted or I could lose the fight + my life via trying to "save" her.

      You also have to take into account that ____ probably isn't beating ____ for no reason, I'm sure (well unless he's mentally ill or something of that nature). It's always something no matter how little and usually the girl "saw the signs" but chose to ignore them early on in the R-ship or whatever. So ya can't expect me to risk my freedom/life to "save" her. Since I'd rather just "brick em or cluck em with a bat" and go on about my day. But we'll know I'd be in prison for that...

      Overall there are too many WHAT IFS to these situations and I don't have the OMG HE CAN'T DO THAT TO A GIRL mindset. Since way too many girls be asking for an Ass whooping IMHO.

  • Absolutly yes I would , to what ever degree it took to make dude stop

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  • Depends. If I know I can pull the guy off, then I would, but if I'm not sure I can, I would call the cops.
    I'm not gonna risk my life for a stranger, I don't care if they're a woman, I'm not risking it.
    A few years ago, a man helped this woman who was getting beaten up by her man. The guy that helped ended up in coma, and the woman didn't even press charges on her man.
    Fucking bullshit right there.

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  • Yes, I have and I will continue to do so. I've always been the protector since I have two younger sisters and I always had to defend them from thirsty dudes trying to get at them.

    I was roughed up a lot during my teenage years because of it. It didn't help that I was a skinny kid with a big mouth and a confrontational nature. I was willing to take the beating in order to protect them.

    I'm not as confrontational now since I'm older but there are some shit that I will never stand for and that's women and children being physically abused.

    So to answer your question, would I step in if I saw a man physically abusing a woman? You better believe it!

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  • Yes I would. 100%
    I've broken up 2 fights before

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  • Yes I would without hesitiation, it is not something I take lightly at all

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  • It depends, small alterations can easily turn into someone taking your life away over trying to be a hero. When you are up against 'crazy' it can be hard for a normal guy to win because the 'coocoo' person does not see future consequences the same as a 'normal' person does, making them very unpredictable and potentially lethal. (there was a local story about a kid trying to break up a fight that he had nothing to do with, and one of the guys decided to stab him multiple times... the person died and it helped no one at the end)

    It would really depend on the day, degree of violence, time of day, location...

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  • would i...

    hmm...

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  • I'd tell him to stop and warn that if he doesn't stop then I'll call the cops. I'll also try to get other people in public to help me out. Would I fight him for her though? Hell no. I wouldn't risk myself for the woman but I would definitely call the cops on him.

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  • Yes, yes I would. Here's it's sister question if you saw a woman abusing a man in public would you step in and help him? Me probably not, why because a man putting his hands on a woman is not acceptable. And me stepping in to help a man, would be me a guy, putting my hands on a woman, his abuser.
    But a guy, I can socially hit, because a guy can hit a guy. So then it leaves it to women to stop female abusers. So would you?

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  • Tried it once, the woman got up in my face, yelling at me for manhandling her man.

    So now I just shrug and ignore it. Not my business, and not really worth the trouble.

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    • for reals?

      smh...

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    • @redeyemindtricks It was high school. There was this typical jock looking guy and he was literally slapping this girl in the face. Hard enough that you could hear the slaps from down the hall. I saw it, and like the wannabe hero I was back in the day I got between them and had to shove the guy back. Nothing to severe, just a shove to keep the prick away. And then I felt a slap on the back of my head and saw this girl was suddenly mad at me. Said I should mind my own business and to stop manhandling her boyfriend. Bear in mind that while I simply shoved a guy a few inches back, she was the one getting manhandled very visibly. Needless to say, I didn't see the point in arguing. Sure she was a dumb teenaged girl, but if she didn't mind getting smacked around by her boyfriend then who am I to judge?

    • smh...
      images5.fanpop.com/.../...xie-29471080-500-281.gif

      I mean, I hope at least that the dude's status in the school pecking order took a hit for that one...

  • Of course.

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  • Yes. Absolutely.

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  • time to make some chin music.

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  • I honestly would likely be too afraid, but certainly would want to.
    If not, I know I would at least point it out asap to people close by who wheren't.

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  • I do not have the physical strength and resilience to do something about it.

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  • Only if it was life or death, if the woman was seized. A domestic spat, I'd maybe call the cops, or maybe nothing, depending on the urgency.

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  • I've had that happen before and I knocked the guy out. I would do it again if I have to.

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  • I would try all I can, considering I'm just 16 years old. But I still would have stepped up to him and show him whats good lol... Or try...

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  • probably. i put a rapist in a hospital once.

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  • i have at-least a few times so why stop now

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  • Yes, I would. I've done it before too.

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  • Are you serious? I'll really show him the hell! I'm protector. All human have right to be happy and abusing women will not help them outout in anything.

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  • Yes I would

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  • Nope.

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  • Nope

    I'm not dealing with drama, accusations, the abused defending the abuser, or jail time

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  • I would just call the cops

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  • nope, I got me sone my values, mins keep walking.

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  • yes...

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What Girls Said 30

  • Absolutely would. For a man or woman, that's what decent human beings do, help people. I have done it for women and a man. Gave a guy a ride once who was obviously not all there mentally and when I dropped him off at his home the man there slapped him in the face in the driveway. Got right back out of my truck with some not so friendly words of advice for ole boy and took the guy I gave a ride to with me somewhere else.

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  • I would Definitely Intervene and be a Bit Mean, and Begin to Then... Call 911.
    I have had to deal with situations Before where the poor woman ended up at my own Door.
    Good luck and Great question. xx

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  • Honestly, I'm not sure that I'd step in. I'd like to believe I would but I know that in most cases, people don't interfere in things like that. Most realistically, I'd probably call the police and film it for proof.

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  • Hell yea I would intervene. I'm not gonna watch some person get hurt like that. Even if I'm not that strong and the guy is some freakish giant mutant ninja I'm going to do something about it. Guy, girl, kid, elderly, strangers, family/friends it doesn't matter to me I'm stepping in. Now I would probably stand around and observe the situation first to see if my assistance is really required if I feel things are okay I'll go about my way. Not all of us are herles of course but doing something for the greater good would make me feel like a better person at the end of the day cause I sure as hell would want someone stepping in to save me. I swear people be so cold and heartless today.

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  • Yes I would!

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  • If I can get more people to assist me or if I believe I'm stronger than him. If not I'll just dial 911 and report the crime.

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  • I'd call 911 and film the situation. The police can sort it out.

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  • of course i would.

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  • I've done it before. For man and woman. But I call the police first.

    I was raised seeing my dad beat my mom, and I don't like to see it in strangers.

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  • I would call the cops on him and take a video as proof in case he'll try to deny it later.
    Don't think I could physically stop a raging man tho unless he's only 5'5 and 100lbs lol

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  • I would probably call the police. Because I'm 5'0, 80 pounds, extremely weak my friends have asked me to punch them as hard as I can, knowing I was weak. I tried and they laughed because it didn't hurt at all. That's how weak I am.
    so I know that if I directly got involved I wouldn't succeed in stopping him; rather, I'd probably just cause more chaos. So, yeah, I'd call the police.

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  • No, for my own safety I wouldn't. I would call the cops though.

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  • Fuck yeah. Excuse my language. But I would. I mean I'm not standing there.. Watching someone get beat. Imma call the popo first. Hand the phone and my purse to my girlfriend. And jump in to help.

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  • Most likely just call the cops since I doubt I could pull the dude off the chick. Though I could throw a rock at his back to get him distracted for a second. That or do my ear piercing whistle that I do.

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  • I like to think i would but bystander effect is strong. Also i don't think i would do it unless i was sure i could actually be useful and not just get in the way of someone who could actually help.

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  • I did... not really in fights/fights but when I feel it starts to get violent I come in between, or when guys get aggressive with each other...
    but it wasn t really a fight.

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  • I would like to say I would, but I physically wouldn't be able to help. I would be afraid of him hurting me too. I would immediately call the police.

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  • Honestly, unless he was beating her to a pulp, i wouldn't intervene. I don't know the whole story to try and stop something that has nothing to do with me. & if he is really beating her, I'd rather call the cops then get a ass whopping of my own.

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  • I would get the attention of people around me and try to confront him as a group. It is safer and more affective that way.

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  • I would call the police, same as if he was beating up a man

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  • Yes! Abuse is a complete no no for me. On ANY living thing

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  • Yes. I would.

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  • I'd call the cops and maybe yell at the guy to stop, but I wouldn't physically intervene since I'm not strong at all and would just be making it worse. If I was strong and could get him off of her, then I would definitely step in.

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  • No I'm not going to jail. I would call the police.

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  • Yeah I would and vice versa

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  • I mean I'm a little weakling but I would try to do something. I'm not sure what, but I'd try to help in some way..

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  • I'd call the police.

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  • I would call the polices

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  • Of course but it does depend on the situation

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  • yes I would without a second thought

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