Why am I so unhappy? really?

I HATE my life,

I HATE the country i live in, i hate the language, i hate the fact that i dont have any family around or dont even have proper family around. I am 23 and live with depressed mother and sister in one house and im starting to get depressed myself. I just can't stand this anymore, i want to get away. I try to be happy and optimistic but i just dont see a future for myself here in holland. I want to move to the uk probably because i loved it over there and i love the English language. I am starting to become this ugly bitter person who just hates everyone and anything, how can i get over this? is it me or is the enviroment?>


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Most Helpful Guy

  • For me is interesting to read it. I've moved from England to Amsterdam and even I love England, I love Nederlands more. Languague is quite easy ( but I have no time to learn it cos of missing time and talking all day long in English only). I must say I really love NL, perhaps reason is part of ancestors is comming from NL. BUT... I hate how people are slow, and, Im looking for job for 6!!! months. Even educated, skilled with rich praxis.. I can't find anything - better to say - they have no interest even Im fullfilling all their conditions. ( if you want to have NL credit card, NL citizenship.. etc.. you must have income from NL and not from abroad) So I can't understand whats up cos in any other country ( USA, UK, Norway..) I had absolutely no troubles - I had job in few days!. And here in NL? this is something horrible! And yes, this stress, nervosity and depression started to affect my health already.. So, I can understand you. If you want to move and if you can move, move.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Het klinkt meer alsof alles niet helemaal zo gaat als je had gehoopt en dingen niet zomaar komen aanwaaien en daarom reageer je het af op je omgeving.
    Het klinkt zo makkelijk om naar GB te gaan omdat je al een beetje Engels spreekt etc, maar als je daar uiteindelijk bent zul je merken dat Engels niet zo makkelijk is als je had gehoopt en dat de cultuur anders is en dan is familie ineens wel heel ver weg.
    Ook moet je een plan maken voor what je wil doen in de toekomst en kijken of het echt zo voordelig is om te verhuizen. Je moet bijvoorbeeld betalen om te studeren op een universiteit.
    Maar als je ecbt denkt dat je daar gelukkiger wordt dan moet je dat doen. Als het helpt dan helpt het, maar uiteindelijk is het enige die in de weg staat voor jouw geluk is jijzelf.

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What Guys Said 22

  • sounds to me you are mostly angry that life hasn't panned out into what you've wanted or envisioned. you feel trapped. you feel like in your current state there is no viable happy future for you.

    so it may mean you need a change of scene (residence, town, country, etc)

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  • its no ones fault, but if you really want to get away then JUST DO IT, say to your family that you want to take a vacation to another country and try to get away from the ordinary. Be who you want to be, and if that just doesn't work out, then come back home and see how you feel from that point on. ok?

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  • You're probably not going to be any happier in the u. k. The grass isn't greener on the other side almost ever. Your circumstances could make it worse but you have to work on yourself. There's treatment that can really be helpful too. Try that before you make a major life changing decision.

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  • According to your profile, @angela55, you are in Argentina.
    In your post, you said that you were in Holland.
    Where are you?
    As for depression, you may have a diagnosable and treatable medical condition. Ask your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist so that a proper assessment can be made.

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  • I think it's the environment, the surrounding

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  • Aww sorry to hear that! Firstly why exactly don't you like Holland, did something happen? Just remember that there's so much more life has to offer you, right you'll be feeling depressed, but do something about it! Come to us in England! Your English is perfect you'll do great here!! Get some experience and take a break! :)

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  • Thats just life im afriad mate, Even here in the UK life is shit.

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  • This why I caution against moving overseas - you are isolated in another culture with another language and don't know anyone.

    You can either assimilate as best you can, stay angry, or leave.

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  • You just need to appreciate the things you have, and start building the new ones by yourself, I've been trought similar situation so I do know how you feel, you want support, true friends and perhaps a hobby or something that will take you out from the bad things that we're happened to you.
    Lets start with this common questions : What do you do, do you work, do you practice any sports, how do you feel your time?

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  • It's both. If you don't like how the country is, then either move out or try to change it. I can't guarantee that the new country will be much better.

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  • Stay hydrated, not shitting. When your mind don't get enough water, it alarms ur body and you get angry and frustrated OP. Main cause of depression

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  • It's both you and your enviornment. Mostly your enviornment. Being around depressed people can make you depressed too. And it sounds like your family members have horrible depression if it's rubbing off on you too

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  • I'm sorry about your mum and sister. Living with depressed relatives is very difficult. But, tell me, could you leave if your mum and sister started healing?

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  • Argentina. You poor, poor thing.

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  • Time to lay down and rot OP. It's all over boyo.

    http://i.imgur.com/l5wc4tM.gif

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  • SO, why not move to uk if it makes you happy.

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  • question what do you believe in?

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  • just isolate what is wrong and solve it.

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    • i missed a lot of my youth, i feel like i have no idea who i am i feel isolated, depressed and stuck, i missed out on parties, casual sex, birthdays, events, student life anything that makes life enoyable... im 23 almost 24 i never even had a real boyfriend, i feel like im 16 in my head...

  • holland? I thought you from argentina

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  • I'm a village guy from the southernmost part of India. I think it's all on the perceptions.

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  • Wow. I thought I was the only one lol. I am 28, still live with my parents (long story) and yes they are both alcoholics. My best friend is a pot head, my sister suffers from severe depression, my best friends family are depressed, I have no car, I have no friends, I have no money, I am still a virgin, I dont have a license, I can go on all day and this isn't even half going on in my life. We both need a better mindset, because I agree I can not stand living like this too much longer. Oh and women tell me you need to get some confidence you'll never get a woman. Thanks. Fuck life lol.

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    • And when I said no friends, I mean no one that is there for me during the hardest times.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Stay where you are and make a go of it. It's most likely a phase you are going through. Obviously there are stages of life and you are at the stage where lots of choices need to be made. Stay with your family and sort everything out before making such big life changing decisions.

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  • I am sorry you need to calm the Fuck down! You need something to live for! Whats your purpose?

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  • sorry to hear that!
    moving is not always easy. I moved from my country to study and I think the best way to feel at home is finding activities and meeting people :) Try to find hobbies, like you can join the gym, try some classes, just try to be busy, try to go out with friends. Its not about the place, its all about the attitude u have.

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  • my friends gave me a saying about life: if you don't like it, change it.
    If you wanna move to the uk, u move to the uk. save up your money, get out, find a nice hobby, meet new people, get a cool career, learn something new. You only get one life. your time is now.

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    • the education thing is hard

    • Then get a full time job. I dont know how jobs work in the UK but they probably aren't as picky as the USA

  • I'm willing to bet it's part your mentality and part your surroundings.

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    • mentality?

    • You dwell on the negative instead of finding and focusing on positive aspects in your life. You don't focus on the future, and all the opportunities you have or could have if you put forth the work and ambition.

      Instead you're stuck on your current: surroundings, hardships, living situation.

      Let your future and the possibility of reaching a point where you're able to move away be your driving force.

    • hello... im 23 almost 24 and still accomplished shit because i can't live normally in that house without being watched controlled and cursed out, im too broke to move out, when will i figure out who i am and what i want? they destroyed me

  • Its better to get out abd start fresh

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  • are u on your period or a week before?

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  • Gast het is je omgeving ! Geen wonder dat je er zelf ook depressief van wordt.
    Als ze niet suicidaal zijn en slechts depri misschien is het dan een optie om uit huis te gaan en even aankijken hoe dat gaat?
    Ik denk dat wanneer je uit die sfeer bent dat je ook een stuk beter gaat voelen.

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    • I ve tried everything,. i dont know how my mom will behave when i go and move out, she sounds suicidal

    • ah that sucks :/ try talking to a councelor about it? Maatschappelijk werker kan ook heel what voor je doen als je je situatie voor legt.

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