I had Surgery on my bladder and the scar is... Embarrassing?

I'm Lexi. I'm 16 and so when I was 10 I had surgery on my bladder. And it left a huge scar down there. And like. Its
so embarrassing­čśž and yesterday the boy I've been dating for like a year asked me for a nude picture. And I told him about my scar and he didn't respond until today. Which was him breaking up with me. What do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First, the scar. It will slowly fade as time goes by. A real man won't be bothered by it, anyway. Very few of us go through life without some sort of battle scar, me included. This guy is not worth worrying about. He's so shallow and also disrespectful.

    Now the nude pic. NEVER send anyone a nude pic, or vid. Not even one in underwear or bikinis. Once they leave your phone, tablet, laptop, desktop or whatever, you have NO control over them. You also leave yourself open to being blackmailed into sending more and more explicit ones. Nude pics can be right round the world in seconds on the internet. Please, never go there. NOT EVER!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I could go motherly on you and tell you how at 16 you should not be sending nudes, but it happens. Instead, I will remark how immature this kid is. This boy sounds like a complete jerk for breaking up with you over a scar. You know what? It is best you found out now. You are better off without him and waiting on a better guy.

    Keep your head and phone up. :] Even if you're comfortable with your scar, other people won't be. They are looking for perfection and will not find it. Let the joke be on him.

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What Guys Said 16

  • be glad he broke up with you.
    if you deciding you do not want to share a nude, for any reason, is why someone breaks up with you, that's a pretty good sign that they didn't actually care about you, saw you as nothing more than sexual fulfillment, and likely would have shared the picture.

    find a better person.

    As for the scar itself? While I have no doubt if you posted a [non-nude, non-sexual] pic and we saw it, we'd notice it in short order, and it would stand out to us, I also have no doubt that most of us would shrug and not worry about it. We'd be more curious why it was there than worried it was there. And in a relationship type setting, we'd be very quick to move on and not think about it. it is just part of you. it's not a big deal.

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  • His breaking up with you shows you that you should not have been with him in the first place. Be glad he is gone!

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  • What do you do? Thank the scar, cause if it wasn't for it, you'd be still dating an asshole.
    Listen, no guy that really likes you, is gonna break up with you due to a scar. It's just a scar and in a place where it's only visible when you're naked, meaning that it doesn't really change the way you look.
    Don't even think about the scar, cause it won't really have a negative effect on your dating/sex life.

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  • its a scar, just get over it. I don't say that rudely. if he broke up with you over a scar then he isn't worth your time, so better it happened now than much later down the road. that scar is a part of you, own it.

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  • Hi Lexi, I'm Landon. It's not going to bother any decent guy. I don't think he broke up with you cuz of that but if he did, he's ULTRA shallow and a total dick. You don't want him anyway. Scars are a very common thing. Nobody will judge you for that. I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is. We are always our most harsh critics. I promise no guy even if he's a little decent will care or even think about it.

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  • Hmph, what a goof. It's not like your 6 year old scar will randomly tear up and unleash a stream of blood. The hole he is so interested in does that every 4 weeks though. Maybe you'll find someone who's less of a wuss.

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  • I'm sorry to heat about you experience.

    1) Ignore the idiot and don't even so much as acknowledge his existance again.

    2) if your comfortable with your body, then most people will be too (its all about being comfortable in your own skin really).

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  • Rest assured that if the rest of you looks good, men won't care. They will ask, because it is unusual, and telling people over and over might get dull to you, but otherwise, if you look great they will not mind at all.

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  • You shouldn't worry about it. Any guy who actually cares about you won't mind the scar. I have some huge scars on my back and ribs and a few smaller ones on my chest and it hasn't been a problem

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  • 😶😶😶😶 !
    Let's date
    Cause I've a scar too 😂 LOL
    We guys are kinda immature at that age tbh 😜
    But scars doesn't matter though you can use scar removal creams

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  • Really Lexi, if a guy really cares about you he would not give two shits about your scar. I think you got lucky by dodging that piece of shit of a bullet :)

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  • You should have a drink and celebrate how you just dodged a major bullet in dating a fucktard.

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  • Well that guy is a fucking loser.

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  • Tell him and talk about it.. Just be honest and don't send nudes

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  • That's sad, but why did we need to know your name

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  • Actually, scars don't change how hot you are.

    There was a study done by some psych department where they had people assess how attractive others were, and for each of the people whose photos they used, they had variants of them with and without scars on their face. So half the people judging would see person A with a scar on their face, half without.

    People don't think scars look good... but

    On average guys rated women exactly the same with or without the scar.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Its never your duty to send pictures, ever.
    You did nothing.
    He's a douche.
    And im almost sure he was mad that you didn't send a picture, not about your scar.

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  • if he broke up with you for not sending a nude or you being insecure about your scar he is a douche and you dont need him in your life.

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  • Shallow or what. Forget about him. You can find someone who looks past your scars & treats you better.

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  • He's just a jerk :)
    I have huge scars on both of my legs :)

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  • I think, if he respected you, he would reply your message immediately and said it's okay. Surgeon scar can't be blamed right? Now, we already see that he's a bad guy. There is a lot of nice guy on this earth who will care about you.

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