If your parents attitude while growing caused you issues and resentment towards them, would you keep telling them until they understand or let go?

Some parents are great, some are ok , some are bad in various ways. If your parents ways caused you a lot of issues ( low self esteem etc etc) and if they haven't change much their attitudes to this day , what would you do? Keep telling them untill they understand and accept it so you can have closure or let go because you have the sort of parents that they will never accept they did wrong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think much is gained by trying to get parents to accept responsibility for perceived wrongs. Even if they did, how would that change anything? Better to let those particulars go, try to learn from their mistakes when raising your own children and try to develop relationships with your parents as an adult, if they are capable of adult relationships.

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    • thank you for the answer. The issue is my parents aren't capable of adult relationship, especially my mother is terribly immature on the way she thinks and acts, is all about her. The specific problem i have is that she keeps saying how bad daughter i am because i dont go to visit them ( we live in different countries now and they never bothered to meet their first and only grandchild who is 8 now) My mother keep saying that i forgot them etc and then is when i tell her my issues with them and she starts the self pity refusing to listen and keep saying how great of a parent she is. Is all about her

    • You already know that you can't change your mother. She won't here your grievances. It seems like you don't feel obligated to live up (or down) to her standards of what she thinks you should be or do as a daughter. That frees you from worrying about what she thinks if you choose. But it means that you have to let the past go or you will hold the resentments inside of you with no way to resolve them.

What Guys Said 2

  • No, I'd actually keep it in me. Telling them that they're disturbing me would be like admitting weakness.

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  • Been there, I just let it go and moved away. Peace didn't finally come to our family until my father died. Literally no one cried at his funeral.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't bother. I'd let go.

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