Should I loosen up?

ok guys question, question :P
see, I am not a touchy person, like at all. Even when it wasn t meant in a sexual way, I don t like it.
For example, during my swimming course guys would grab me, or pull my leg, try to drawn me, tell me they re drawning so I can save them etc.. lol I don t want to go wrap my body around his and try to lift him up huh...
Or also they keep touching my waist and when I say hi I usually shake hands and last time the guy got annoyed why I didn t give him a kiss.
ok I guess you got an overview haha. Should I chill a bit or that s perfectly normal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • nothing wrong with it I think. some people are more comfortable than others with it... I don't really like it either. But it depends of course a bit what it is... the question is always, is the body contact necessary? Giving someone the hand, sure that's completely normal... but you don't shouldn't touch someone's waist unless you are really close (and even then it depends on a couple of things). Same thing with kisses... I do it usually only with family members, others do it with friends too but that would make me uncomfortable.

    I'm in Germany and most friends hug each other when they go or leave... here it was the case with my friends, so of course it makes me a bit uncomfortable and some were joking about it which I hate.

    It's totally fine the way you feel as long as you don't have any anxieties... don't change just because a guy wanted a kiss or shit like that

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    • okii thanks ^^
      it s not only because of this situation, I ve always been like that even with my family.
      I just don t like physical contact unless I am really comfortable or horny lol

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    • Haha it's okay lol, not the end of the world :p

    • okii ^.^

Most Helpful Girl

  • No, you are fine. These guys are being too aggressive for you. If it was a romantic interest and you two were messing around in the pool then, I would say that you need to loosen up a bit, but if they are just some random guys grabbing you like that, I would tell them to back off.

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What Guys Said 42

  • Nothing wrong with not wanting to be touched, but you have to make it clear. Lots of times on here you will say things that make it seem that you don't mind the touching on the arm, shoulder, etc. Plus in one comment here you told someone that you do not tell the person that you do ot like the touch they are giving you. Simply put, if you seem one way and do not correct someone, they will not know that it bothers you.

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    • When did I ever imply this on the comment section. I have always said I am. not a touchy person and am really cold.
      Yea but when someone does it in a friendly way it s mean to tell him don t touch me.

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    • Hey, I do love your friendliness. :-)

    • me 2 ^^

  • My current girlfriend is the same way! She doesn't like holding hands, not big on hugging, and getting a little pissy when I play with her hair from time to time. BUT after talking about it, she gave me the biggest story as to why that's the case. And you know what, I don't blame here for her actions (or no action)

    However, she realized how it made me feel (or not feel) and she does all of those things very seldomly but they mean so much more to me when she does cause I know how much she hates those things. L

    So I recommend not just letting everyone touch you, but the one who you really enjoy being with. You don't have to give all the time but let your guy (or girl) know you see them differently and are willing to put it aside just for them.

    Good luck my friend!

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    • aww that was really sweet :3
      yea I ll def be different with my so :)

  • I was a bit like that but I am getting better - I hated being touched, I have actually elbowed someone in the head when they hugged me from behind unawares - I now hug friends but with people I don't know that well it would be a brief handshake or in conversation and they put their hand on you, I would be like in my head "Hello, you do know you have your hand on my arm/shoulder" - A lot depends where you are from for instance in Southern Europe kissing each other on the cheek and embracing is a common custom whereas in Ireland your brain is screaming "Personal Space".
    I understand it totally - Is it right or wrong? - I haven't a clue but it is fairly normal for a lot of people.

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  • That's normal, touching is a whole other level of flirting. I know you playfully flirt, but if that is your line and you shouldn't feel pressured to cross it aka 'loosen up'.

    A common way of greeting women is a European style sideways kiss on the cheek (no lip contact) so that guy might have been confused. Again, however if you extended your hand it should have been obvious to him.

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    • alright thanks ^^
      honestly I never initiate flirting, they start like that I just go along lol.
      but eh... I still have limits lol :P

  • Maybe try to change it a little towards the people you're close with :D
    So not letting them touch you upon first contact, but when you feel a click.
    Than they'll be the happy few who get a kiss or a hug :D , the rest will have to do with a handshake :o

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  • Well is there some underlying reason for your dislike of human physical contact? or are you just one of those don't touch me people in general? I mean I can understand the pool thing and other stuff that seems like pretty normal stuff but I guess I'm asking if it goes beyond those 2 examples you've given us?

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    • I am just not a touchy person since I was a kid.
      Ermm what do you mean?

    • Ah I see, just how you are then.

      Ermm what do you mean?
      Lol don't worry about this part, you answered it with part above.

    • ow okii ^^

  • Human touch is important. Being warm and touchy feely with people you like is healthy, but you have to draw the line somewhere. You can't just let random people feel you up. I can tell you cold people suck. Cultures that are more open to touch and have lower boundaries in regards to personal space make me more comfortable many times. But like I said, the line has to be drawn someone... Partners will likely be someone possessive and you should respect that bond and direct your warmth to the specific people you like.

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    • *somewhat

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    • Ah no I meant if I had a boyfriend lol :p
      My mum says I ain t gonna have one if I keep acting this way xD

    • Oh, well yeah boys that are flirting are going to touch you. If you're a cold fish to everyone you will push them away. You have to have some boundaries, but you also have to be inviting to the right ones.

  • Guys are just trying to get you to think of them sexually. It's all a ploy to touch your body.

    Your choice on whether to give in to their childish attempts. Playing back would essentially be flirting. Your choice here. Do you like any of them?

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    • No lol :p
      If I like the person that s totally different

  • If I was a girl... I'd pull their leg back, splash in their face etc
    If they're telling me that they're drowning, I'll jokingly say that I'll send them beautiful flowers at their funeral, I wouldn't try and lift him up
    If the guy says 'hi' and kisses me, I do the same. It's a custom over here

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    • Eh yea I know.
      I do that a bit but i just don t like physical contact unless I liek and am comfortable with the person. :p

    • Yeah same here
      No need to 'loosen' up, you're normal xD

  • If you don't want those guys touching you, then you shouldn't "give in" and let them touch you against your will.

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  • Naw that's normal but I'd still tr to touch you >_<

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  • Wow what creeps. Your right to be mad at them.

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  • No? you are respecting yourself, all of those instances seemed as though the guys were pushing on you too much.

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  • You're not overreacting,, if you don't like touching or being touched, you shouldn't touch or be touched. It's as simple as that.

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  • You feel that way cause you like me... I know it ;-) :-P

    Don't let anyone kiss you.. You can only kiss me 😘😁😁

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  • Well, be what you are. No need to change go out of your way to change yourself for people who don't deserve it.

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    • woah... that s like the first good opinion you give hahaha
      anw thanks ^^

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    • I thought I was the only one who thought like that..
      I am not alone.. Brb.. Becoming a believer.

    • lol hahaha

  • I'm not even sure what you mean... but I'll go with "don't do stuff you aren't comfortable with", simply.

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    • thanks but ermm why isn t it clear? xD

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    • I just noticed I did a hella English mistakes xD
      damn it!!!
      yea the reaching out for a kiss and stuff.
      and the drowning part, they be like come save me I am drowning blablabla.
      I am like eghh

    • Haha you're good. Listen to me, though. 👊👍

  • its perfectly normal, i dont like being touched too, i get very annoyed and angry when someone touches me.

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  • I'm not a touchy person either & hate it when people attempt to invade my personal space , you simply have your own boundaries. Most women would get mad if a strange man touched them anyway !!

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  • Honestly I am used to people touching me. If you don't want them too, then yes it's true you do have to say something, or they will continue to do it.

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  • Learn the phrase:
    "Fuck off"

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  • I'm confused. You don't want people touching you?

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  • Nicely say I'm sorry but I'm not really a touchy Feely kind of person so can you please not touch. You do have a right to your space.

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  • you shouldn't allow these guys to be so touchy if you don't like it, Like... there's no reason why they should be annoyed why you don't give them a kiss.

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  • That is perfectly normal in my opinion. If you "loosen up" they will call you an easy "whore" unfortunately

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  • I don't think those things they do are normal. I mean I get kind of a creepy vibe from what you just described, I know I wouldn't behave like that.

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  • If you don't like it then they shouldn't do it. That has nothing to do with you. Also I don't like being touched that much too. However I did still be the type of person that pushes you into the pool, because I am that kind of person.

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  • so whats wrong with rejecting what makes u feel uncomfortable?

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  • No that's not over reacting.

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  • Well if you're annoyed about it then tell them to stop

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    • yea but some just are touchy people and mean it in friendly way.
      it ll be mean to go about saying don t touch me lol.

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    • bet you were lol xD hahaha

    • Wallah 😂

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What Girls Said 5

  • haha Girl I am just like that lol!

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  • If you're not comfortable with it, you're not comfortable with it. Plain and simple. Don't let anyone force you to change that.

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  • If you don't like it, you don't have to do it, just because some people are more touchy then others it doesn't mean you have to go out of your comfort zone and be touchy as well. Just explain to these people that you're not a touchy person if they get annoyed

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  • There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries with people, if they are your friends, they will respect that.

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  • lol if i was in your spot id be like wtf too

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