Why Do Women Put So Much Emphasis On A Guy "Having His Own Place"?

POLL QUESTION:
Ladies... if a man was 25, finished college, had a career, a car, perfect credit score, was financially secure... but no place (yet)... would you date him?

Okay, go ahead. Laugh at me. Call me lazy. Call me selfish. Call me a loser. I've heard it all.

I'm currently 25 years old and I finished college in the summer of 2014 with $30,000 worth of student debt. After all my friends finished college, they all got jobs, started working moved out and a majority of them are living with 2-3 roommates or living alone, paycheck by paycheck.

After college, I moved back home and it took me 7 months to find a job. I started working, started paying down my student loan debt... and now I have enough money to pay it off in full. I am debt free now. My parents told me they like having me around and they said I could stay as long as I like. I am moving out at the end of the year... but I am currently saving up for a new car before I move out.

On the dating scene, I always hear women say that if a man doesn't have his own place, they won't date him. HOWEVER... women will happily date a guy who is in a gang, has a low level job, has virtually no income, no car, etc, etc, etc... but if a guy doesn't have his own place, he is worthless.

I understand the perks of having your own place... but any idiot can move out and get their own place. All the people I have met who moved out immediately after college or way too young, are living with a lot of roommates or paycheck to paycheck.

A smart man would wait until he is ready, make sure he is financially set and then get his own place to ensure he doesn't have to live paycheck to paycheck or with 10 other people.

  • Yes
    53% (10)33% (5)44% (15)Vote
  • No
    16% (3)13% (2)15% (5)Vote
  • See Results
    31% (6)54% (8)41% (14)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Even my older brother, he is 40 years old. HE JUST MOVED BACK IN... because of bad financial planning when he was my age. Now he is saving up again.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would think care if he didn't own a place yet - I don't own a place yet either. But if he was living with his parents? Not interested. Anyone over 25 who isn't still IN school should be able to take care of themselves. Living with a roommate or roommates is fine, but freeloading of mom and dad? No. Just no.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Having privacy is very important for a relationship. If you both live at home, you'll both be stuck like you're still in high school, trying to find time alone.

    I have my own place and it proved to be quite a good thing not just for relationships but friendships too. Damned expensive but worth it!

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    • When did you move out? How financial strapped were you?

    • I essentially moved out when I went to university. Apart from coming home for the summer during those three years, I was 19 when I moved out. I had housemates for my first year after university to cope with the cost while I worked my way up in the working world.

What Girls Said 11

  • I think it's more and more normal for guys not to have their own places anymore. Moving out is expensive, and I think it's more important to be financially stable and smart with how you spend money rather than blowing it on rent or on a place so that you can barely afford to do anything else.

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    • THANK YOU! You understand :)!

      My friends are, like, "I have my own place, I'm independent... I don't care if I'm living paycheck by paycheck".

      What is freedom, if you are living paycheck by paycheck and you are a slave to money? That isn't independence.

      Same with Roommates. It's kind of hard to call it "your own place" when you are rooming with other people.

    • Ya definitely agree with you. Like it's great you have your own place, but you have no savings.. sooo... what.

      I don't mind if they're living with roommates, it a bit better than with parents, but I'm okay with either. (I'm not tryna have his mom hear us band and see her every morning when I sleep over lol) BUT I've done it before and it's fine lol.

  • If I liked the guy then yes, that stuff shouldn't really matter.

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  • For sex and a sign that they are a grown up.

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  • is the question would you date him?

    I didn't get the poll lol

    but yeah, I'd date him

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  • i would never expect that lol. Lots of people are staying with their families longer to save up for later.

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    • Its a sad state of affairs today that young people are choosing to be financial burdens on their aging parents especially when those parents should be enjoying the fruits of their years of labor.

  • Lmao yes because I'll gladly date a gang member over a guy that stays with his parents.

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  • It boils down to sex and privacy

    can't be loud and freaky with roommates and neighbors around. Simple.

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  • I don't put any emphasis on that, I don't got my own place either and I ain't no hypocrite

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  • i prefer that a guy cares about and has a good relationship with his family. i'm fine with it.

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  • If his family wasn't there all the time and he didn't have a curfew still, then I wouldn't care. Roommates can be so annoying.

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  • I have no problem with a guy who lives with his parents. As long as we have a place to go where we can have some privacy that is all I care about.

    Unfortunately I'm living back home and do not have privacy. The house I live in is very small and you can hear everything.

    So hopefully I can find a guy who can have me over :P

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What Guys Said 8

  • honestly, who cares.

    if a girl is gonna judge you because you live with your parents then fuck her, figuratively, and maybe literally.

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    • LOL... I like the way you think

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    • Thats not any better. I hope your paying rent, as well as your share for electric, heating, cable, food and anything else.

    • Why will you younger brother be loving at home after college? Yes maybe for a few months until he gets a job. You and your older bro should rent a place.

  • It's not a big deal to me personally, but then again I'm a dude.

    Way I see it, if someone has a plan (or is deat-set motivated to formulate a plan), and they're the type to take action and make things happen, then I don't care where they live.

    *Caveat: they have to want to live on their own at some point in the near future.

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  • Fuck what women think, having my own place is important to me. To me, its a sign of owning my own lifestyle, and that's something I could never do living with my parents. So there... I don't find anything wrong with living with the parents tho and its really nothing to be worried about. Its what think about living with your parents that matters not the fact itself.

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  • I don't blame them. I wouldn't wanna live with my future in-laws either. Adults shouldn't have to invest in memory foam, just so mommy and daddy don't hear the creaking upstairs.

    However, there is no shame in having roomate (s) until you can cover the bill by yourself. Plenty of people do that.

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  • Having his own place is a sign of him having his shit together. Stability. A future.

    That's why it matters. But on the east coast it doesn't matter as much solely because it's more common to live at home with your parents. But it's still an attractive quality

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    • "Having his own place is a sign of him having his shit together. Stability. A future."

      Not always. My older brother (40 years old and moved back home)... when he had a place when he was my age, he was living paycheck to paycheck and then he had his pay reduced, couldn't make payments anymore, almost got evicted multiple times and had to choose between paying rent/bills or eating food. Just because you have a pace doesn't mean you are stable and have your shit together.

    • "A sign". Not a guarantee

  • Probably because they don't think of you as as an grown man.

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  • Very culturally dependent. If in her culture guys are supposed to, as adults, stand alone, she will look down on it, a lot. If in her culture guys tend to live with parents till marriage, she won't.

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  • Having your own place is a sign of status and wealth. It also shows that you are responsible enough with money to support yourself. A guy that hasn't moved out yet may or may not be responsible with money.

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