How can I deal with the loneliness of being single when women around me are engaged or in serious relationships leading to marriage?

A few close friends I haven't seen for a while have told me about their current boyfriends, saying they know they're the one and have talked about marriage in the near future. My friend in grad school is in a relationship and she and her boyfriend have talked about marriage, names for kids, etc. Another girl in my class just got engaged over spring break.

I'm 24 and I've never even had a boyfriend despite several guys who have said I'm great girlfriend or wife material or would make a good mom. I'm just feeling lonely and down about being single and wondering if/when marriage or a relationship will ever happen for me and I don't know how to get over it when all this love is going on around me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Loneliness? —Embrace it! These friends tend to build themselves up by projecting all this excitement and happiness but in reality it is only perception. Most of these high excitement high happiness engagements, weddings, lives of success are a façade and end miserably—seen it many-many times. If you take emotion out of it and look at these friend’s objectively a little analysis and a layer deep it will not be that ideal. It might turn out that you are actually the fortunate one. Loneliness builds character and it will make you identify and appreciate when the right one comes your way or is in front of you.

    • This is so true! I feel like people get excited. But what happens when all the lovey-dovey newness leaves the relationship? What happens after all the wedding things are done, the new home that you share together is now 5 years in and life has become routine? You need something to keep things fresh. I think a lot of people get caught up in the wedding/house/and baby blitz that they lose themselves.

      Then when it comes time to face the relationship, it fails because they haven't built a solid foundation. Not everyone is like this of course.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm going through this myself! Most of my friends are on their 3rd or 4th kid. Some have been married a while and others are just getting married now.

    I know a lot of people younger than me who are married already too. It makes me sad sometimes because I have been told I'm a nice person, great girlfriend and would make a great wife. But no one has snatched me up yet. I've talked to lots of people about this and no one has any idea of why I am having such a hard time.

    My last boyfriend cheated on me and after that relationship fell through, I started to get really depressed. I felt like there must be something wrong with me if I can't seem to find love.

    To deal with the loneliness I usually try to do things I enjoy. I keep busy, I visit friends, if I'm having a hard time, I find someone to talk to. You're not alone in this feeling. A lot of people have been there and are there right now.

    You will find love. It will just take time, unfortunately. I'm 26 and single. I've been online for a while and have been trying really hard, but have had no luck, so I'm taking a break.

    Dating is rough, so don't make it your sole focus in life. Focus on other things in your life. The right person will be attracted to what you bring to the table and you won't have to put forth an exuberant amount of effort in order to find love.

    • Thanks. It's comforting to know there are others dealing with the same issue, and I figured there would be. The thing is that although I'm not extremely experienced with dating, I think I've done enough of that to really know myself and other people, know what I like and don't like, etc. I honestly am sick of just "dating" for the sake of dating. I hate the whole having to put on a slight front in the beginning while you're trying to feel out the person and ease them into who you really are. I'm the type who is ready to just settle down with one person and get married, but I realize I have to "play the game" to win the prize, if you get my metaphor, so I'm trying to figure out how to deal with that problem. It sucks because there is someone who I care for and want to be with, and I know he feels similarly, but we actually met on here and he lives on the other side of the world, so things haven't worked out in our favor.

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    • I couldn't have said it better myself. I wish there was a better way to deal with this issue.

    • Thanks! Just know that there are other people out there. I see a lot of myself in your question and responses. I am going through the same thing and have for a while. Just try to keep yourself busy. Try to make life good and focus on the other good aspects of it. Family, friends, pets, travel, work. So many things make up your life other than romantic relationships.


What Guys Said 3

  • im 24 and i feel like you most of the times. my situation is even more worst. all i can advice you is this, just hold on and dont lose hope, it'll happen when the time will be right.

  • Just chill
    Be friendly
    Guys will approach you
    Or maybe you should approach guys?

  • Love you, enjoy you, enjoy your time and then things will fall into place. Fuck what others are doing. You are you.


What Girls Said 2

  • Don't worry. You will eventually find someone. It can be hard when all of the people around you have already found "the one" but honestly, who cares? Be happy for them, but they aren't you. Don't make finding love a priority in your life. Focus on your job. Set goals for your near future or even your distant future and work at trying to achieve these goals. This will take your mind off finding someone and you will find love naturally.

    • I'm already working on grad school to get my career in order. My only goals are to work in a field I'm passionate about and hopefully get married someday. My future in work is pretty solid, so I'm ready to find the special someone to take along with me for the ride and support.

  • Why are you still single? I know I will be single for a really long time because I have extremely high standards and waiting for the right person who is worth my time and affection.

    • Similar reasons as you have. I'm focusing on my master's degree right now. I've always been very academically focused, but still have made time for dating in the past. I just haven't had luck with the particular guys who I put effort into.