Do you have a hard time or easy time opening up to people?

For me, it really depends on my relationship with the person and even so, it's a scary thing for me to speak directly from the heart about things I have been through and have caused me pain. To think that when I release those secrets there's a possibility I will remain suspect to hurt because I've made myself vulnerable is scary. I am now powerless and can be defeated. My friend wanted me to open up to them the other day , but I just can't bring myself to that place.

  • Yes, I have a hard time opening up to people.
    87% (62)70% (50)79% (112)Vote
  • No, I have a easy time opening up to people
    13% (9)30% (21)21% (30)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends on who the person is. I tend to be more guarded with some people , but not so much with others. Regardless of who they are though, they have to earn my trust. I don't give it freely.

    I open up gradually to people. If I feel they can't be trusted or I decide I don't really like their personality then I'll become more superficial with them.

    I've made myself vulnerable ( which cost me) in the past by trusting certain people too quickly, or by going against my intuition about them. So now I open up if I feel comfortable to do so.

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What Guys Said 39

  • I'm more hurt by actions than words, I open up easily if asked as I have no fear in being judged or having something used against me. Being vulnerable is my super power, also I'm very open and accepting of others, trust is built over time with anyone and I respect when it's given. I've experienced many women that have had a negative experience with guys, so my being open seems strange or alien to them as if I'm being superficial or something.

    There's a premise that guys often do what they want to do, not what women want them to do, based on their internal rule book. Guys want to please and seek a woman's approval, it's built into us.

    Women that don't often trust others and claim intuition as the source, that they just know, well intuition as it's called is a feeling, it's based on past experience and it's only an early warning system not a fact based system, many women and some men use it as a end all to be all, and think just because they have been triggered or they have a feeling about something that it's OK to react and bail out on someone or a situation without further investigation, chances are they miss so many opportunities to connect with with others and end up alone, angry and cynical of the past they have experienced. People tend to generalize things based on their criteria not on facts or evidence. People like that tend to be right just for the sake of being right then find late that they've hurt others based on their hyper reactivity. It's very true that hurt people HURT people.

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  • I'm almost too open and have to filter myself. you are functioning out of a wound... we all are.

    if you can change your viewpoint to concern for the other person.. because they are asking something, then you may be able to open up and share more while still protecting your inner hurt or security.

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  • generally yes. i kind of have seen so much of people that opening up about myself never seems like too risky of a thing to d

    i always think. whatever i've done, experienced, etc someone else has done and/or experienced worse

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  • It really depends on the person. I don't talk to a whole lot of guys cause unfortunately I'm in a uni where all the guys are like hypersexual so they unfortunately just see every other guy as competition so I mostly make friends with girls. Some I will talk to for weeks and they will know very little about me. Others I don't know how but they get me to say something super personal about myself within hours of knowing them.

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  • I have an easy time being honest and open with my lady friends.. as far as guys.. nope not ever.. just would not do it

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  • I have a very very hard time opening up to people

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  • I used to open up to people pretty easily, but now in my older life I find that it's been more of a bad idea to do so. Though I can open up with guys easier than with girls; women tend to think you have issues that aren't appropriate for you as a man. Guys see it as guys just talking about what we're going through.

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  • I don't open up to anybody, I tell them what I do and that's about it. Just surface things like work, that's about it. If I knkw them well than I'm better, but it really depends on how comfortable I feel

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  • Yes it is hard to say what I feel in person. The only way I have ever really been able to do it is in writing

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  • Generally speaking a hard time. Occasionally I meet someone I feel as if I've known for years, in that case it's relatively easy

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  • sometimes i have a hard time to opening up to someone, but when i do i usually regret that why did i opened up to them.

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  • I use to have a pretty hard time opening up to people but it's gotten better over the years. I just have a good feel for who I should trust.

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  • For me it depends on the person and it's also something that for me people have to earn.

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  • Extremely hard. My views has always been to deal with things on my own, I dont need anyone to hear about my life.

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  • I said I have a hard time opening up to people. Conversation does not mean one is opening up, there could be millions of facades and much could be hidden!

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  • Personally, I have it easy opening up to people in a way. Mostly because if they turn fake and leave I don't really get hurt. I don't always open up though because I'm afraid They would think I want attention.

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  • Hard time since I'm very shy.

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  • I don't know. Do I?

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  • irl... I'd say I have a hard time. Online it's much easier

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  • Too easy sometimes. I think I might have scared some people off with it in the past.

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  • If they ask personal non-offensive questions , I'm own to all genders, even if we just meet.

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  • I don't open up to people, emotionally maybe only like 3-4 people.

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  • off late I been burned 10 times over, and the more Im hurt the more closed I become.

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  • I have an extremely hard time opening up to people

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  • I'm an open book. I don't mind showing people who I am

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  • Have you seen gag! I have no trouble opening up. Lol it's friendshipzone currency.

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  • It's easy with women, I don't really do it much with guys.

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  • Depends on the girl im with. But i rarely open up

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  • I guess i have been burned a lot, it took me over a year to open up to my wife when we were dating.

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  • yeah, i have a hard time.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 23

  • As far as ME opening up to people... well, let's just say that I am spectacularly bad at hiding and/or disguising my emotions. I'm very "emotional", usually quite demonstrative, and often pretty over-the-top.

    Soooo... realistically speaking... I face a choice between the following 2 options:

    1)
    I can open up about what's going on with me and what I'm feeling -- and still preserve the chance of seeming like a somewhat sane individual.

    2)
    I can *try* to bottle up what's going on -- and then not only fail at doing that anyway, but also look like a crazy bitch who has attacks of unrestrained emotion for no reason at all.
    LOL

    Kind of a no-brainer, really.
    Yes, there's some personal vulnerability involved. But that's way, way, WAY better than just looking like a crazy person and not saying *why* I look like a crazy person.

    __

    The really interesting part of this equation, though, is the other way around -- other people opening up to ME.

    I am super duper ultra extrovert pony, and I pretty much engage everyone in conversation, everywhere... and, I swear, something about me just makes people want to shit their deepest darkest secrets all over my face after a surprisingly short time.

    Sooooo apparently *I* am not hard to get close to, for whatever reason. (Ironic, because people tell me all the time that I'm physically intimidating... Whatevs, it is what it is)

    And, I tend to be really good at reading people, and so I'll often be able to give really good advice and/or genuine emotional insights.

    But, THAT's where the problem starts, lol.
    The problem starts where the person thinks they've suddenly met this new best friend with a cosmic understanding of them that they've been waiting a whole 2.5 lifetimes for... and then I'm like la la la la la shiny thing! and already being distracted by like 5 other conversations (at the same time, natch).

    I mean, this has actually been a problem, because -- especially when the person is a man -- they'll just over-analyze the shit out of the interaction. Like, instead of just "ok those were cool insights and WOW she is #adhdgirl", they take it all personally, and assume they "did something wrong" and start over-thinking "What did I do to drive her away?". It's even weirder because I'm married... and, like, SO married. LOL Like most marriedest pony... and I make no secret of this. But, still, the butthurt is real.

    I really don't know what to do about it.

    La la la la la hey shiny thing!

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  • I'm extremely open... But it gets to the point that I reveal so much more about myself than the other person does about themselves and they might start to feel uncomfortable and guilty that they don't do the same back. Now obviously they won't know my biggest biggest secrets but I'm really comfortable about talking about most of my problems, mental issues, embarrassing stories and such, even to people not so close to me. Unless they are my parents that is, just don't feel comfortable opening up to them.

    Either way, I don't really care much about what people know about me. Everyone has their own problems, nobody's perfect. And if they wanna judge me I couldn't give two fucks bout that cause they ain't any better than me.

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  • I definitely have a hard time opening up to people! Some of my friends don't even know some personal stuff about me. I keep people at a distance because I'm scared of letting them in and being betrayed. Or of letting them in and being criticized and judged. I was betrayed once before and it hurt me so much!

    So I think that's where those feelings are stemming from. I'm trying to deal with it.

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  • It isn't easy unveiling yourself to somebody. It's so raw and exposing. For me, the whole thing just feels corny like a soap opera, much to my ex's displeasure. I'm sure he felt like I didn't take anything seriously when he tried to talk things out or share how he felt. But it's so much pressure being forced to spill.

    It probably also depends on how naturally it comes out. I turn to my best friends for all sorts of things, and they genuinely make their own opinion based on the facts and info I give. And generally they interpret me, my thoughts, and my motives more than I understand them myself.

    Really, I guess, it all depends.

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  • I am skeptical about everything and everyone. I don't trust easily. So I won't be opening up to anyone unless I absolutely think they are genuinely good people with good intentions.. . etc etc.. I don't really care of people like me or if I have a LOT of friends or not... I like true honest people and they are rare.

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  • No, I have a easy time opening up to people But sometimes I am tired and lazy!

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  • It depends. I can talk about a lot with people, but it's hard to open up fully and share all of my emotions and thoughts.

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  • Hard af. I open up about things im immune to or Have gotten used to talking about but dont really delve into things that mean more. Or things i haven't voiced.

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  • Yea. I feel the same way. It's like if they know something about you that no one else knows, then it could backfire and they could use it against you. I feel like I learn stuff about other people and I'm ok with them talking to them about their problems but I don't want them to know anything about me other than general things, even my close friends. Plus, if people try to get to know more then I slowly stop talking to them until we don't talk anymore. So yea, I'm the same way. Lol.

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  • It's not hard for me to open up if they are someone I know I can trust. If I don't feel like I can trust them or want them to have anything they could use against me. Then I won't tell them everything.

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  • i have a hard time opening to people

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  • I just don't open up so its easy for me :P

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  • I have a really hard time. I dont let people in that easy.

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  • I have a very hard time opening up to anyone. I don't need their judgment and I don't think anyone actually knows where I'm coming from.

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  • I have a hard time opening up to people

    Only the right ones make me comfortable enough to do so

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  • easy time with the superficial stuff but a hard time with actual emotions & trust

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  • Yes I have a hard time, I try to open up but I just can't do it

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  • It depends on who it is

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  • I have a very hard time opening up to people face to face

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  • Depends on what the topic is

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  • Yes.

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  • I'm kinda on the shy side. So it's kinda hard for me to open up to people.

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  • Yes, i have...

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