Can you tell when someone is either faking confidence or is actually confident?

and would you really care if someone is only faking?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Fake confidence becomes painfully apparent -- because it tends to POOF disappear without a trace -- in any and all of the following situations:

    • Things happen that are unexpected, or not "according to script".

    • The person with fake confidence is insulted, especially by someone who's actually *good* at dishing out insults (= the insult "pushes the person's buttons" in a very personal way).

    • The person with fake confidence is challenged by someone with REAL confidence.

    • The situation becomes stressful, or there's an emergency, or it's just a looooong day/night (tiredness has a dastardly way of bringing out people's true colors).

    __

    Also, even when things ARE "going according to script", here are 2 of the biggest giveaways of fake confidence:

    1)
    People with fake confidence will try to make themselves look better by putting others down.
    (People with real confidence will make themselves look better by boosting others up right along with them.)

    2)
    People with fake confidence will DECLARE, EXPLICITLY, that they are X or Y thing/quality.
    Faux confidence is very noisy and try-hand in its attempt to PROVE things, and to attain external validation. That's the biggest thing: People with fake confidence are constantly asking for validation from others -- even if that "asking" doesn't actually take the form of a question. (When someone says "I am smart/creative/dominant/"alpha"/bla bla bla... that's ASKING for others' validation. That's insecurity.)

    People with REAL confidence ABSOLUTELY NEVER "declare" personality traits -- because they actually display those traits in their actions. There's no need to declare them, because there's no need to try to hoodwink anyone into believing anything other than what's in front of their faces.

    I wrote about this in my opinion here:
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1876142-guys-do-you-like-strong-independent-women-meaning-has-her-own-job

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    • *try-HARD (not "hand") ahah lol

    • Show All
    • @Beautybynature Yah I HATE when people confuse actual bitchiness with "confidence". Stop making REAL confident women look bad, yo. Lmao.

      Was not expecting so many upvotes ahah

    • I do have own fake confidence, but I never do any of those things. I'm a chill person who generally doesn't react at all at thing, good or bad that they are, and I'm never gonna be a dick to anyone. Neither I ever overvalued myself for something towards others. I joke at my flaws to get others be okay with themselves and with me, if something.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Anyone with real confidence can spot fake confidence from a mile away. i wouldn't care if someone was faking, but i will try to push their limit to see if they will break... I wouldn't say i have 100% confidence... but i have contingencies to make up for what im lacking and that is what a TRUE confident person does.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Yeah its pretty obvious if u know them. Theyll strm away or be a lot different than they normally were

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  • Fake it till you make it. They're trying to change right? So no, I wouldn't care unless they have a bad attitude because of it

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  • You can tell the difference, but it is sometimes hard to tell when you fake it till you make

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  • It depends on the person

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  • I am far to insecure to really notice someone faking

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  • No ones business if they are faking it, some fake i til they make it and become confident, others need to learn it, whatever it takes and if faking confidence is their only crime who cares or should judge them.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Usually fake confident overstep the mark and turn it into bluster, they also sell themselves short in some areas ether intentionally to get reassurance from others or because they actually think they're dreadful.

    Genuinely confident people never under or oversell themselves, they know their place. They don't need anyone else's validation good or bad.

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  • I think there is no such thing as fake confidence. I believe that it is your alter ego that is confident and not your natural self.

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  • @Redeyemindtricks has made every point needed to be made.

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  • I think I can often tell. People being fake sometimes annoys me a bit.

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    • how can you tell then?

    • It's difficult to explain. It just doesn't seem genuine. Usually seems like they're over doing it/trying too hard or subtle body language cues give it away.

  • Sometimes yes sometimes it can be a mix of being pretentious and snobby with some insecurity.

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