Help with a thesis statement?

"Although people may call murderers "inhuman", any one of us is capable of killing if put under the right circumstances."
Do I need to narrow in further? Is it just bad? Can you tell what I'm arguing for?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends on what you're actually arguing for. If you're arguing that anyone can kill another person in circumstances such as self-defense, I would say the thesis works fine. Perhaps elaborate in the introduction on where you're going and make sure to explain the difference between murdering and killing.

    However, if you're arguing than anyone is capable of murdering another person (which is also true) and you're gonna talk about things such as the Milgram experiment, I would rephrase the thesis statement to something like "While people may call murderers 'inhumane', any human being is potentially capable of deliberately taking another person's life without empathy and regret."

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The point is pretty obvious but I would give an example of "the right circumstances" and elucidate it carefully just to back you up in case.

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    • thank you
      How about "Although people may call murderers "inhuman", anyone is capable of killing if put under circumstances that threaten our well-being."

    • *their nor our

    • I would elucidate that you're talking about self defense in separate sentence, or keep the original statement and add a simple 'e. g. self defense' if it has to be answered in one sentence.

What Guys Said 2

  • Murder and kill are not synonymous.

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  • You're arguing that everyone is capable of killing, so murderers aren't necessarily inhuman.

    The logical flaw I see is that killing someone and murdering someone are not the same thing. Most people are capable of killing in self defense, or to protect their child, but that has nothing to do with whether murderers are inhuman or not, as a killing in self defense isn't a murder. .

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What Girls Said 2

  • you're arguing that all humans have the capacity for murder but your thesis sounds vague and you shouldn't use the word "us"

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    • All right, so
      Although people may call murderers "inhuman", anyone is capable of killing if put under the right circumstances

      In what ways could I make this more specific?

    • that one is good enough for a working thesis, when you finish the essay reread the thesis to see if it fits perfectly with all of your paragraphs. if you want to make it more hard hitting and to the point, you could get rid of the fluff words such as 'although'
      "People may call murderers inhuman, but anyone is capable of killing if put under the right circumstances."

  • No it's perfectly clear never judge a situation till you know the facts anyone can be pushed over the line.

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